They’ve put assassination in inverted commas, I think that shows the strength of their convictions with regards to the Story That Will Never End (part 3,567).
I’m shcoked that Big daddy Merk didn’t put the weekend headlines up for us to goggle at. Last saturday was the mail taking the mick out of the express with its own Diana headline. Where was it merk?
“HOW TO GET A BIKINI BODY IN JUST 1 WEEK”…who wrote this article?..who is it aimed at?…I suppose it depends on your definition of what a ‘bikini body’ is….Would this plan work on, say, Rosanne Barr, Dawn French or Fern Brittan?
So there saying I could have grown breasts in a week? And I spent 20 years drinking excessivly to get my bikini body. If only I had been an Express reader.
Perhaps the new murder mystery is the strange case of the Daily Express, and why the only news it ever has is about a freak acident to a divorced woman?
Maybe the driver was sleeping because he’d had too much red wine, and Diana would have survived had she had that bikini body, thus making her smaller and reducing the potential surface area for those space alien phasers to potentially hit her.
Red wine is great for a good night’s sleep. If you drink several bottles and pass out. The morning isn’t always so great though.
And Diana: Murder Mystery sounds like a board game to me. I think it was the driver, with a Mercedes in the tunnel.
Every Monday is like Groundhog Week when I see the Express front page.
They’ve put assassination in inverted commas, I think that shows the strength of their convictions with regards to the Story That Will Never End (part 3,567).
Is this not the same old murder mystery. It’s on a rota isn’t it ?
Made up stories, with themes in this order:
-Embalming
-Spies
-Laser beams
-Inquiry
-Death Doctor
Repeat
For. Fucks.
What do you mean a new murder mystery? Has she been murdered more than once?
‘Red wine -the secret of a good nights sleep’ story by Henri Paul- DE motoring correspondent
I’m shcoked that Big daddy Merk didn’t put the weekend headlines up for us to goggle at. Last saturday was the mail taking the mick out of the express with its own Diana headline. Where was it merk?
Ah, normal service has been resumed. Diana is on the front page of the Monday Express, and all is well with the world.
Another slightly dodgy picture of the blessed Di, though. She looks more like Sophie Wessex in that photo.
I don’t want a bikini body, thanks. My freezer isn’t big enough.
Will “Diana: A New Murder Mystery” come free with the DE on DVD at the weekend? it sounds like a bad movie sequel!
speechless- bangs head against wall!
A bikini body. In 4 weeks. For 35p. Sounds bloody good value to me!
“Red wine: The secret of a newspaper headline writer?”
I would like to confirm that red wine is a sure way to enjoy an uninterrupted night’s sleep.
Sounds likea case for Miss Marple
she was embalmed by a Professor? Blimey there’s posh innit
“HOW TO GET A BIKINI BODY IN JUST 1 WEEK”…who wrote this article?..who is it aimed at?…I suppose it depends on your definition of what a ‘bikini body’ is….Would this plan work on, say, Rosanne Barr, Dawn French or Fern Brittan?
New improved Dianna murder – now with extra conspiracy bollocks…
New improved Dianna murder – now with extra conspiracy bollocks…
So there saying I could have grown breasts in a week? And I spent 20 years drinking excessivly to get my bikini body. If only I had been an Express reader.
Perhaps the new murder mystery is the strange case of the Daily Express, and why the only news it ever has is about a freak acident to a divorced woman?
Who buys this crap? That said, even the Guardian has a load of shit on its front page today – “The baby psychic – Can he read minds?” Err, no.
Tomorrow – Diana death driver stole my toblerone
Maybe the driver was sleeping because he’d had too much red wine, and Diana would have survived had she had that bikini body, thus making her smaller and reducing the potential surface area for those space alien phasers to potentially hit her.
Hooray, Hooray its a Diana Day.
I can get a bikini body in just one hour. Just get me a bottle of chloroform and a car with a big boot.
The Professor who embalmed her is accused of a “cover up”? I thought that was the point.
Would it be worth it for me to admit to assassinating Diana if it shuts the Express up?
She got killed again?
Diana,new evidence, a mystery, conspiracy…zzzzzzz.
I’ve just drank a bottle of red wine, i think i will pass out in a bit, well as long as its a good sleep.