I am going to pop an aspirin every time I attempt to cross the road then. Save on all this “look left , look right” nonsense.
Pity they give me stomach ulcers and nose bleeds.
Tomorrow: Glass of Red Wine a day helps you become an immortal being.
The BBC News web lot have made a fair point: Wheres the headlines about Northern Ireland? Bit of a bigger story than aspirin I think. Or is it too recent an event?
To use that well-loved phrase of that well-loved columnist: ‘You couldn’t make it up’. The Express have gone right off the ridiculous journalism scale. I like the idea that dying is a risk that can be avoided.
To use that well-loved phrase of that well-loved columnist: ‘You couldn’t make it up’. The Express have gone right off the ridiculous journalism scale. I like the idea that dying is a risk that can be avoided.
It says that aspirin “really can work miracles” so maybe if the Express headline writers took some , they may conjure up an item of current news for once?
“My Fear Of Growing Old” by Julie Christy????????????
She is old (I’m getting on a bit, but she’s older than me)
Surely you have a fear of getting old when your young.
New wonder drug…honestly what nonsense- risk of dying? what ever? eternal youth for 1 in 4 ?
1 in 4 people will live forever if they take aspirin? Excellent.
Maybe someone should tell Julie Christie and anyone taking out a 25 year fixed rate mortgage.
But seriously what utter shit.
Wow, aspirin is good for you, what an amazing revelation.
I’m off to buy my very own Rubik’s Cube so I can join in with the nation’s latest craze!
Someone bung Julie a few aspirins.
Miracle pills for the deluded & that is just the Editorial team.
I am going to pop an aspirin every time I attempt to cross the road then. Save on all this “look left , look right” nonsense.
Pity they give me stomach ulcers and nose bleeds.
Staying alive cuts the risk of death by 100%
Tomorrow’s headline-’No-one gets out of here alive’.
“My fear of growing old” – yeah, decline and death give me the shits too.
It’s getting beyond parody.
I’ve taken 30 of the pills in one sitting, now I’m gonna live forev…
I thought the risk of dying was 100%
Tomorrow: Glass of Red Wine a day helps you become an immortal being.
The BBC News web lot have made a fair point: Wheres the headlines about Northern Ireland? Bit of a bigger story than aspirin I think. Or is it too recent an event?
You’re referring to ‘The Battle of the Boyne’ of course gaz?
All this asprin bollocks has distracted us from the sly little “Now” in the top right.
Asprin is excellent for some people with dicky tickers but does it cure cancer?
“My fear of going old…and becoming an Express reader”?
To use that well-loved phrase of that well-loved columnist: ‘You couldn’t make it up’. The Express have gone right off the ridiculous journalism scale. I like the idea that dying is a risk that can be avoided.
To use that well-loved phrase of that well-loved columnist: ‘You couldn’t make it up’. The Express have gone right off the ridiculous journalism scale. I like the idea that dying is a risk that can be avoided.
“Express Reader Dies From Aspirin Overdose As He Tries To Become Immortal”
They spun the Monday Front Page wheel, it missed Diana, Weather and House Prices and landed on the 4th quarter – Miracle Food/Long-Life Secrets.
If only Diana had taken aspirin.
It says that aspirin “really can work miracles” so maybe if the Express headline writers took some , they may conjure up an item of current news for once?
“My Fear Of Growing Old” by Julie Christy????????????
She is old (I’m getting on a bit, but she’s older than me)
Surely you have a fear of getting old when your young.
maybe she’s young compared to the average Express reader.
more like the average Express reader is dead or at least moribund.
Did Alan Partridge single-handedly start a revolution in the use of the word moribund?
–Did Alan Partridge single-handedly start a revolution in the use of the word moribund?
No, though he bears full responsibility for ‘mentalist’.
It’s a word that I picked up from my ex sister-in -law in the mid 80’s. I think she had a goldfish called Moribund.
Sorry, after a rethink it could have been a stick insect.
Peter Gabriel had a song called “Moribund the Burgermeister”.
Sorry, that is all.
Thinking about it a bit more. She also had a picy of a seriously pissed up Ken Livingstone, around her house, using her as a prop.