=

Express

Posted by Merk

January 19th, 2009

Categories: Front Pages, General |

16 Comments

  1. Stevie H

    Cut down on self abuse?

  2. Steve

    AND hail??? Fuck me.

  3. Scott M

    Express Weather Exclusive: Britain to be gripped by winter weather at some point between autumn and spring.

  4. aljardi

    “Snow, Sleet AND Hail to sweep Britain”

    Perhaps worthy of a mention if it were August, but it’s hardly a shock, or worthy of the front page in January.

    Kate Winslet ought to be concerned, she’s in the place reserved for the dead!

  5. Uponnothing

    Why underline the AND?

    If you have snow and sleep you can probably assume hail would be possible.

    AND underlined makes you expect something exotic or unexpected; like:

    ‘Snow, Sleet AND Giant Broom to sweep Britain’

  6. Matt Hurst

    This is one paper the blind should be thankful for not seeing.

  7. Original Paul

    One day they might just print some news.

  8. Goodbyemrsaddam

    I doubt it.

  9. Sarah

    Yes, snow, sleet and hail are all coming to the UK. It’s rather like the four carriages of the apocolypse isn’t it? Either that or its the new of a girl band or comedy trio. I feel sorry for hail, it can’t make its mind up about whether it wants to be snow or rain and everbody just picks on it. Wait for the headline, Ban hail NOW.

    When I first looked at this headline I thought Obama had been at it again. “I will cure the blind!”

  10. EasyToPlease

    If the pioneering surgery WILL restore sight, then surely it’s not a hope of a cure, but indeed a cure…

    I’d love a free driving lesson, but I’m put off by the possibility of Snow, Sleet and Hail (they need capitals to signify their significance).

    I’ll take them up on the carpet right discount though – carpets are of great importance during a recession. Something to recover the floorboards under which I have hidden all my money…

    Is it just me, or does Kate Winslet look like she’s been snapped just before going to a bondage session? Just me then.

  11. Mr Mordon

    I’m so used to the Express’s bullshit headlines that i read that as ‘baldness’ first time round

  12. ToNeL

    I don’t know about sweep but what about Sooty

  13. Moggie

    The Express have had “NOW WOLVES WILL EAT YOUR SHEEP” headlines so many times that I’ve come to totally ignore them for wolf-related news. It’s the same with their over-selling of health stories.

  14. Miss Grace

    Driving lessons? How old do they think their readership is? Most of them wear gloves and a hat to take the Rover down the middle lane of the M4 at 50mph. When they took their tests, a man with a flag was still walking in front.

  15. aljardi

    Perhaps it would be more of an idea to give away free lessons in humanity, kindness and benevolence to DE readers (and some discount carpets!)

  16. hel

    snow, sleet and hail are an earth, wind and fire tribute act who have had to take on second jobs as cleaners due to the credit crunch.
    kate winslet looks like she could do with a free driving lesson – that’s not how you’re supposed to put your seatbelts on!

Leave a comment