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Express

Posted by Merk

July 21st, 2009

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Categories: Express Watch, Front Pages |

13 Comments

  1. Mark

    As opposed to “Millions on tax budget as NHS forced to employ hundreds of extra skilled medics to tell people they have flu”

  2. James M

    Never mind that, when will the Express employ real journalists to diagnose proper news stories?

  3. Mr Mordon

    You missed the obligatory hyphen between ‘medics’ & ‘flu’ there Mark

  4. Mail Man

    Typical.
    ‘Highly unusual circumstances lead to non-standard procedures’
    Shock horror.

    Perhaps the Gov/taxpayer ought to fund & ensure a vast pool of trained and qualified staff are always on hand in case of all and any rare disasters?
    Idiots.

  5. Matt Hurst

    That’s about as Hot as dog shite.

  6. JohnD

    Matt Hurst: agreed. My eyes! My eyes!

  7. Stevie H

    Yeah, Susannah’s the fit one.

  8. NJH

    I, a fairly svelt man, have got bigger breasts than her. The way her collar bones stick out is also quite unnerving.

  9. Dai

    Non-medical staff? you could do it with a recorded message.

    “Hello, thank you for calling the swine flu hotline. You may well have swine flu, but there’s no way of knowing what strain of flu you have without several expensive tests. If you are generally healthy, it will feel like a bad case of the flu. Because that’s what it is. Take a few days off work, stay in bed, drink lots of fluids.

    However, if you are not generally healthy – if you normally have to report to a doctor if you get regular flu – please go and see your doctor. They will be unable to provide a cure, because there isn’t one – but they will monitor your progress as your body deals with the disease and will hospitalise you if things get serious.

    Thank you. To listen to this message again press one.

  10. Original Paul

    Immigrants applying as well is the next thing..

  11. Sarah T

    They just can’t put a positive spin on anything, can they? A flu hotline is set up to calm things down and disperse some worries people may have about the situation, and yet still the Express finds something ‘dodgy’ about it and puts it out as more reason to panic and “crack open each others’ skulls and feast on the goo inside”.

  12. DBC

    Re Original Paul’s comment – “Immigrants applying as well is the next thing..”.

    Today’s headline is “Immigrants Man Swine-Flue Hotline”.

    You wish has been granted!

  13. Matthew

    Yeah where’s today’s truly astounding front page?

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