Couldn't find a thread for Utley, but thought this article was worth flagging up:

A council survey about speed humps asks if I'm straight, gay or bisexual. Is there any madder example of government waste?

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/artic ... z1IIJNbEWY

According to Wikipedia, he was lured from the Torygraph in 2006 after the Mail offered him a salary of £120,000. Wonder what he's on now. Less than the PM, do you think?

A Johann Hari article from 2004 refers to a piece of his entitled "Why I Don't Want Gays Minding My Children", in which he claimed that:

Not related to the homophobe issue but he looses me with the very first sentence:


pathetic

Plus:


Selfish morons like you Tom...
we have a rival to Littlejohn here i think

_________________
'Because we've reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach us'

Here's the peado/gays article
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/4257 ... ldren.html

He was also banging on about a gay mafia ruling the UK when Labour was elected in 1997. I can't find the original but here's a NY Times story on it with quotes.
http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.h ... A96E958260
Gays are "nasty and wrong" apparently but he feels terribly brave about saying so.

Predictions 100 years ahead. No-risk twattery if ever I saw it.

Utley's trying to tag along with the "decline of the west" stuff. But he's too thick to know that if China becomes rich, that doesn't in itself make us third world. And he thinks it's only Britain as if questions about gays on a form is the big issue, not debts or ageing population.

Can't you quote virtually any document in history and find one sentence in it that sounds bleeding obvious?

That paedos thing is quite incredible. I don't like gays, people agree with me, so it's right. When the gays don't get all shirty, they're being "passive aggressive". The man is a complete cunt.

And I accidentally clicked on Simon Heffer's "it's the lefties who are closing libraries" bollocks. I can't read the Telegraph because it annoys me even more than the Mail. Luckily a chap on there keeps mentioning Suffolk Council's rather draconian cuts- 29 libraries out of 44.

Heffer as ever can't be bothered to look up how many "lesbian outreach workers" there are. And no way he's going to mention that Labour councils have bigger cuts.

Thanks for the link to the gays = paedophiles article. What a cunt!

I too know the rage that the Telegraph can induce. If it helps, I stumbled into Simon Heffer at the Labour Party conference in 2001. I was stoned off the face of the planet, it was a pothead period in my existence, and somehow found myself facing him making direct eye contact. That's all I did but he recoiled in horror and slunk off like a cowardly little turd. I like to think he looked in my eyes and saw conviction and his own hollow self-serving position reflected. Probably he saw a scruff with pink eyeballs he thought might come near him and be all smelly and left-wing.

He really does look like uncannily like one of the pigs from the animated versin of Animal Farm. I swear he had trotters.

I once came fact to face with Ken Livingstone stoned out of my gourd, on the tube. I decided to pull silly faces and try and provoke a response. He looked right through me with the faintest glimmer of a condescending 'seen it all before' smile to himself. Cool as fuck!

Anyway, Heffer is a waste of skin. That is all.

Ha, ha.

I've just wasted ages on commenting on Heffer's article. The commenters are mostly

"it's Labour councils doing it!"
"what Labour councils?"/ "What about Poshshire Council?"
"they're not real Tories"
"the what?"
"the Tories are leftwing now"

God, what a dreadful shitbag. I'd like to see how he'd react if straight people were discriminated against (no, DM, they're not). Would he get pissed off, or would he present a reasonable argument (aka "being passive aggressive")?

I'd love to be able to find the full original 1998 article Utley wrote, which is possibly even worse than the gay= paedo one but the Telegraph has taken it down. However, both the Indie and Guardian quoted it in part as follows

"homophobia is right"

Homosexuals are "engaged in a massive recruitment drive"

"I think that even long-term and faithful relationships between homosexuals can never be more than a parody of heterosexual marriage. Oh, and the very thought of homosexual sex disgusts me"

"I have other prejudices too ... I believe that there is a number of character weaknesses to which homosexuals are particularly (although by no means exclusively) prone - cattiness, selfishness, promiscuity and cowardice among them. I am particularly wary of homosexual politicians, because I suspect that, lacking the urge to pass on their genes, they may also lack the heterosexual's instinctive feeling for posterity. That may be pure tripe, but it is what I think. Nor do I believe that there is a 'homosexual gene', which programmes its carriers from birth."


He really is a fucking tosser isn't he?

cf islamophobia, count me in.

Here's important news, Utley has given up trying to communicate with his cleaner because she says things with a funny accent.


Yes, it's an awful business, having to pretend to treat your domestic staff like human beings. Fortunately, the language barrier means that Kate ("I should explain that Kate isn't her real name, which is something much more complicated and Polish with a great many Ys and Zs in it") can't express her discontent with her tedious, repetitive, back-breaking job, nor the pittance she is being paid for it. This marks her out from a previous British cleaner, who "bristled with outraged dignity if she had so much as to pick up a wet towel from the bathroom floor". How arrogant! She sounds like the sort of dreadful person who'd complain about having to sort her own rubbish or walk an extra 20 metres because some parking spaces were reserved for disabled people!

He seems to be getting a bit of a kicking in the comments. He clearly doesn't have as many sycophantic arse kissers as Littledong ("Hi Wally", yes I mean you) reading his columns.

I rather like this one:

Fantastic. No doubt Utley will smugly marvel at any linguistic/spelling errors in this post, but she still makes a shitload more sense than he does.



COTD contender?



Either a very subtle parody, or a complete dick.



I like how Mailites work themselves up into a mouth-foaming rage based on "I bet".