Littlejohn's column today has no mention of 'poovery'. But it does have some equally appalling bits. Here is the pick of the bunch:
Of all the April Fool stories, the Mail's red door was utterly believable because it's precisely the kind of thing Blair would do, given his total disregard for history and tradition
No it's not.
We learned that the July 7 London bombers bonded on a white-water rafting holiday in Wales. They probably got a government grant for it.
On a scheme to get more ethinc minorities fishing:
Nica Prichard, the International president of the Ladies' Fly Fishing Association said: "If you could just see their faces when we're teaching them, you'd know we're really onto something"
They're Muslims, pet. They're not handicapped. Patronising Miss Prichard makes them sound like retarded children on a day out
Which, apparently makes it OK to patronise retarded children. And to call them retarded children.
And finally: *warning: anti-gypsy bile*
The BBC is launching a radio how for members of the travelling community. This column listened in to the pilot programme.
'Good morning. Today we're coming live from Cottenham, Cambridgeshire. On the show this morning, advice on how to use the Human Rights Act to beat the planning laws.
'Our motoring correspondent, in association with Tarmac, recommends the cheapest red diesel for your brand new Range Rover.
'There'll be advice on claiming benfits without a fixed address and we'll be talking about the impact of the Budget on you - absolutely no impact whatsoever, as usual.
'Recipe of the day is hedgehog.
'And don't miss our competition: Break Into A Shed And Win A Lawnmower.
'First, music. Here's Cher with Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves'
Again, I wish to use the word 'twattish'