This time of year means darts on Sky. And Patrick is as unimpressed as ever.
From time to time, usually by people who ought to know better, Phil 'The Power' Taylor is described as 'Britain's greatest-ever sportsman'. This apparently derives from the fact that he has won a version of the darts world title on 15 occasions, thus elevating himself high above the likes of Bannister, Coe, Matthews, Finney, Moore, Botham, Redgrave, Wiggins and others.
I recalled the absurdly recurring claim when I heard about Taylor's struggle to stay awake for the evening sessions of the latest world event. At 52, he complained, starting matches at 10 o'clock at night was far too tiring.
'The late nights are difficult,' confessed 'The Power'. 'I would love to be on at 8pm. That would be perfect for me. I can go back, put on my slippers on and go to bed early.'
He then posed the question: 'Has Roger Federer ever played at 11.30pm at night in a last-32 match?' Well, I imagine he has because Federer is a superb athlete who excels in a cruelly demanding and utterly authentic sport.
Had he hankered after early nights and slippers, then he would have taken up a pot-bellied pub game. Britain's 'greatest-ever sportsman' could suggest one.