'Lawfully wedded partners': Why opening marriage up to everyone will kill it stone deadRead more:
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The best of the Pixar movies, apart from the first Toy Story, is The Incredibles. It suffered a bit because it was a family film that was too sophisticated for children, but it was also the kind of James Bond movie the people who make James Bond movies can’t do any more.
It stood alongside Dirty Harry as one of the rare Hollywood hits to take a stand against political correctness, and it skewered Cherie Blair in one short scene. That alone was worth the ticket – how many of our own legions of self-regarding stand-up comedians ever took a pop at that ripe target?
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Among those who are not married, relationships split up faster than Harry Redknapp changes clubs. Two million couples do not inconvenience themselves to share the same accommodation, on account of how much it would cost them in lost benefits, and we have two million children growing up with single parents. I know there are fine single parents bringing up outstanding children. I have also seen the evidence that shows the undeniable connection between children who grow up without fathers and school failure, unemployment, crime, drugs, and so miserably on.
You would have thought most politicians would say, ah, let's encourage more of the parents who won't marry to get married. But they don't. This is because 1970s Greerite feminists hate marriage, which oppresses women, and the Whitehall departments, universities, charities and quangos are so stuffed with people who accept the anti-marriage orthodoxy that only a handful of the more courageous sort of politicians ever dare to differ.
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Now here comes Miss Featherstone, who says the way to spread the benefits of marriage is to extend it to a tiny number of gay couples. This has got a lot of people scratching their heads, wondering why. Is it because Mr Cameron wants to stop looking like a Nasty Party leader? How many votes are there in it when same-sex marriage was hardly the number one campaigning slogan of gay lobby groups before the Prime Minister brought the subject up?
It's actually nothing to do with the gay lobby, although no activist worth his or her salt is going to look a gift horse in the mouth. It's not about gays, it's about marriage, and the thinking goes like this: if everybody is married, then nobody is.
You will have noticed the implications of same-sex marriage legislation already. It starts with the spending of millions on removing the words husband and wife from the legal lexicon. We haven’t been told officially yet, but my bet is when the new law appears couples getting married in register offices or approved premises like hotels and stately homes will no longer be pledging their future to their wedded husband or wedded wife.
It's going to be wedded partner from now on, and if you don’t think that language has much resonance, comfort yourself with the thought that you are no longer being homophobic.
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By the way, don't you just love that word, homophobia? It was invented a decade or so ago to describe people who disagree with whatever the gay lobby may be saying ... The word has the useful characteristic of changing its meaning to fit in with Stonewall's line of the week.
You wait until people find that bride and bridegroom – which will have to be removed from marriage certificates - are banned words too. Miss Featherstone is telling every young girl in the country: 'You will never be a bride.'