Irony meter problem again if Samantha Brick is accusing anyone else of writing badly.

Fuck of Brick, we're done with you.

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"Now get those trousers off before someone dies!"

Shyamz please trust me that I'm not trying to be a spelling Nazi, but I can't let that pass without commenting that I'm intrigued by the notion of a "Fuck of Brick".
Not sure if I'd enjoy it though, I haven't decided what it is yet.

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That subtle admixture of the absurd and the surreally plausible...

Perhaps it's like that bit of the bible where Jesus tells people to drink of his blood only far, far less pleasant.

Either one would be highly unpleasant for her, so I don't mind either way.

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"Now get those trousers off before someone dies!"

I wasn't actually thinking of it involving her at all (I prefer it that way). I was thinking figuratively, fuck of brick, a bit like fist of iron.

As I said I can't decide if it's a good thing or not.
On the one hand it sounds quite hard and hardness in bed is useful
On the other it sounds violent and maybe a bit rapey so v v bad indeed

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That subtle admixture of the absurd and the surreally plausible...

Wouldn't have to be rapey if it was done by a person apon themselves.

As in "Oh go fuck a brick Samantha/Toby/Richard".

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"Now get those trousers off before someone dies!"

Who do I have to see about the video rights for this event please?

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That subtle admixture of the absurd and the surreally plausible...

Okay, here goes. *deep breath*

Samantha "Fucking Arsewipe" Brick's comments regarding 50 Shades Of Grey are hilarious for one simple reason: her own relationship borders on masochistic. Here we have a plain and frumpy woman who is in a relationship with a man who exercises an inordinate level of control over her life. He chooses her clothing, her hairstyle, what make-up she's allowed to wear and has probably done more to erode her own self-esteem and worth than any amount of pornography. It's quite hilarious to see someone as fucked-up as Brick comment on a trilogy of fiction books when her own reality is more perverse and twisted than anything in those books. Let's ask the obvious question - does Fucktard Brick find the books uncomfortable and distasteful because she finds them uncomfortable or because her twatty partner has picked one of them up, read it, and recognised that he's doing something similar to his own missus? Or does she find it distasteful because she, herself, recognises that she's a weak and useless non-entity thanks to those books? Quite frankly, if she found these - admittedly harmless - books offensive, I'd love to watch her tiny world implode at The Story Of O. Now, THAT is erotic fiction.

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You couldn't make it up...that's what Littledick's for!

You're missing the point.
This isn't about her, or her beliefs or judgements. It's about an editorial line, emanating from Paul Dacre, which she has been paid to toe. Like Liz Jones and all the others she writes to order.
And she's well paid to do it.

This. Getting annoyed at Brick based on her writing persona is like thinking Warren Mitchell is a racist old twat because he played one. Brick might well be an awful moron - she's certainly a sell-out who'll write shit for cash - but I'd wager her actual personality is miles apart from the sexist limp bimbo that Dacre orders up.

Oh come on now - you cannot compare someone like Mitchel who was obviously playing a character because he was an actor, and Brick who is been paid to write as herself.
Her thoughts, her oppinions, on whatever subject will get her some attention.

I know I've said it before, but to come out with that kind of crap just for money does make you an awful person one way or the other.

Either she is a complete liar, in which case she is a filthy sell out doing it for cash only as well as been the kind of insaine bitch who does not care a jot if she is universaly hated - as long as she is getting some money for doing so.
That is awful and shows a complete lack of scruples or dignity, selling yourself for a few dirty coins.

Or, she realy does think these things, in which case she truly is as revolting as she appears and is been rewarded for it by been paid to tell everyone.

Either way - fully aware but doesn't care, or genuinely shit and deluded - she's awful.

That is all.

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"Now get those trousers off before someone dies!"

And all the characters on Eastenders are like that in real life...

Don't be stupid, Malc.

Or - I know - she's a journalist!