Samantha Brick

Abernathy · **Posted:** Thu Jul 26, 2012 10:41 am

Jeebus, inter-columnist bitchery now.

Who reads this shite? I mean WHO reads this SHITE?

Bones McCoy · **Joined:** Mon Aug 16, 2010 9:08 am **Posts:** 7339

Sat on the Khazi yesterday, I recalled the great Dame Barbara Cartland.
She used to knock out 800 words of repetitive chicklit before breakfast, then a couple of chapters per session till dinner and drinks.

I wondered whether her death has been exaggerated, and she sits manacled in Dacre Dungeons ghosting content for the mail's entire female columnist crew.

Obviously Mad Mel is a real person and writes her own stuff - no ghost could possibly approach the dark heart of her batshittery.
But consider the others.

Rises at 06:00

Platell: Moan moan moan - knocked that one off before the eggs needed turning.
Moir: Something about food, something about fashion, cankles, sprinkle with homophobia.

Breakfast's ready.
Wash that down with a large Gordon's, moving on.

Brick: Me me me me ME MEEEE!!!
JSP: It's the men, they're shit. Fluffy animals, fucking windmills.
Jones: Bugger this, I'll need another couple of G&Ts

Jones (Take 2): Clothes, bags, horses, shoes, renovation, nobody likes me, vegan pigs, I used to be a top flight editor you know, shoes, horses, poor me.

All done by 07:30 - file copy - back inside coffin.

Abernathy · **Posted:** Thu Jul 26, 2012 2:49 pm

shyamz · **Posted:** Thu Jul 26, 2012 8:22 pm

He he hee! :lol:

Timbo · **Posted:** Tue Aug 14, 2012 12:55 pm

You're too fat, your fiance's an idiot and that hairstyle puts 10 years on you: Scientists say honesty really IS the best policy, SAMANTHA BRICK knew it all along
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... olicy.html

Quote:

Uncross your legs for the next photo please, Samantha. We all want to see your hamburger.
- Hannah, Judelaw on Sea, 14/8/2012 12:51

KevS · **Joined:** Sun Feb 07, 2010 1:59 pm **Posts:** 385

Holy Christing Fuck, apparently she may be going into the Big Brother house.

I'll be buggered if I'm using the word celebrity to describe it, especially after the last couple of weeks.

Carlos The Badger · **Posted:** Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:35 pm

KevS wrote:

Holy Christing Fuck, apparently she may be going into the Big Brother house.

I'll be buggered if I'm using the word celebrity to describe it, especially after the last couple of weeks.

It's Space Year 2012; you actually still tune into that freak show?

I thought anyone who actually did watch it stopped about nine years ago and the viewing figures were made up solely of Channel 4/5 staffers?

KevS · **Joined:** Sun Feb 07, 2010 1:59 pm **Posts:** 385

Sir, I will get my gentlemans garden pruned by a combine harv
ester before I watch a nanosecond of that tosh . Popped up on my Twitter feed.

MacGuffin · **Joined:** Thu Oct 08, 2009 11:07 pm **Posts:** 427

Carlos The Badger wrote:

KevS wrote:

Holy Christing Fuck, apparently she may be going into the Big Brother house.

I'll be buggered if I'm using the word celebrity to describe it, especially after the last couple of weeks.

It's Space Year 2012; you actually still tune into that freak show?

I thought anyone who actually did watch it stopped about nine years ago and the viewing figures were made up solely of Channel 4/5 staffers?

Only 1.48m tuned in to the final of BB last night - the lowest ever rating for a BB final. The Sunday show (up against the Olympics, but penultimate show of series) only managed 483,000. Even the Star and Express seem completely bored by it.

Carlos The Badger · **Posted:** Tue Aug 14, 2012 9:40 pm

KevS wrote:

Sir, I will get my gentlemans garden pruned by a combine harv
ester before I watch a nanosecond of that tosh . Popped up on my Twitter feed.

Glad to hear it.

MacG: Those figures are appalling… THAT many tossers watch that garbage. Unbeleivable. Or perhaps not!

davidjay · **Joined:** Tue Feb 17, 2009 8:24 pm **Posts:** 3837

Timbo wrote:

You're too fat, your fiance's an idiot and that hairstyle puts 10 years on you: Scientists say honesty really IS the best policy, SAMANTHA BRICK knew it all along
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... olicy.html

That one seems familiar. She must have written it or something similar before.

McSnark · **Posted:** Wed Aug 15, 2012 11:23 pm

Oh God. She's in. With Julian Clary. Someone get an ambulance ready and a steady stream of anti-depressants - she's going to need them once he's finished with her...

crabcakes_windermere · **Joined:** Thu Nov 26, 2009 1:56 pm **Posts:** 2082

More evidence her Mail persona is complete bullshit as well. Would Pascal really let his housewife (who gave up her career to be a housewife, let us not forget - well, when she's not being a successful freelance journalist of course) bugger off for a few weeks of flirting? Who's going to make his dinner?

I'll tell you who - Pascal is. Like he probably does every other day, because it's his wife who's the bossy, gobby, egotistical one and he quite clearly does as he's told.

Fflaps · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2012 10:04 am

Julie Goodyear is in it as well. Between her and Clary they'll eat Sam alive.

oboogie · **Posted:** Thu Aug 16, 2012 4:27 pm

Fflaps wrote:

Julie Goodyear is in it as well. Between her and Clary they'll eat Sam alive.

It does make me wonder when people like Clary do Big Brother, I thought it was the preserve of has-beens and wannabes. Is Clary's career really on the skids? If he's desperate for cash, I'm sure he could earn more doing stand up.
I know Jack Dee did it, but that was the first one and maybe he didn't know what he was letting himself in for.

Samantha Brick

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