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Sick Left-wing Zealot.

Because tsunamis are becoming more frequent?

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The upper hand is on the other foot now.

Oh the things we could say Liz...

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"Now get those trousers off before someone dies!"

Hanging out with rich people - check.
Gratuituous reference to aspirational status symbol - check.
Plug for business venture - check.
Hint that she's bettered herself - check.
Lack of men down the decades - check.
Woe is me - check.
Why can't I find love? - check.

Hang on. There's something missing.

No, here it is..
Rock Star - check.

HOUSE!!!!!

In Which Our Intrepid Heroine Is Shown Up By A Glamour Model...

Don't worry, Liz, if they ever invented time travel and if you could influence your much younger self, you'd still struggle to get into a good university. But if you ever did, Oxford has a *really* good creative writing course which you could use to pep up your maudlin "Rockstar boyfriend!!!eleven!" columns, dear.

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You couldn't make it up...that's what Littledick's for!

That must really spunk on Liz's ceral mustn't it?

Katie Price, for all her vacuous stupidity and vulgarity, can still make millions from writing things that tens of thousands of people want to read...grotesquely stupid people obviously, but they want to read it none the less.

Price is tasteless, vulgar, tacky and cartoon-like in her surgery enhanced proportions, but is worth millions and recieves huge advances for her "novels".

Yet Liz - for all her stylish brands, tastefull accessories and home design, concern for animals, "proper" writing style and experience and fashion sense (in a sense), she is...well, she's still Liz, and most people cannot stand her.

This might be the only good thing Price has ever done for society - make Liz Jones jealous as hell.

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"Now get those trousers off before someone dies!"

They are both constructs...

True, but I know which construct I prefer out of a terrible twofer of Jones and Price.

My point is that it isn't useful to get cross at a constructed character designed to make you cross...

The prosecution rests, m'lud.

Jordan/Katie Price's books are ghost written for her. She has some input as to plot I think, but it's some other poor sod's job to write it down and hash it out into a story. I hope they're well paid

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Please note: this badger is up to date with her vaccinations. She did not give your cows TB, and as such anyone attempting to kill her will be tied to a chair naked, covered in jam and positioned over a nest of very angry ants.

Amazing isn't it, that even with the assistance of another person she cannot cobble together a decent story.

Makes you wonder why on earth her advances are worth so much when you consider that she does so little herself, you'd think a publisher would consider such work to be worth a lot less (so they can at the very least get away with paying her less).

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"Now get those trousers off before someone dies!"

Because they make a fortune.

"And then we had phone sex."

NO. NO. DO NOT WANT. DENY DENY.

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You couldn't make it up...that's what Littledick's for!

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Sick Left-wing Zealot.