This is a few days old but I've only just stumbled across it. And it's as bad as you might expect. It reads like it was cobbled together at the Xmas party:
Just like you the readers, the activities of particular celebrities deserving of praise, and those not so deserving have been named in our own non-exhaustive list of recipients for the inaugural Mail Online Showbiz Awards.
We're then given the top ten best bikini bodies, ten best rears and the ten people who should 'put it away, love'.
Which, of course, means an excuse to re-publish pics of scantily clad women.
But it makes no sense. Rihanna is 'awarded' 5th best bikini body and 4th best rear, but is also 2nd in the 'put it away, love' category. Helen Flanagan is the 4th best bikini body, but 5th in the 'put it away, love' category. The 'winner' of that is Courtney Stodden - who has provided MailOnline with so much material this year, they clearly don't actually want her to 'put it away'.
The 'Flab to Fab' category (and there are some big assumptions right there) goes 1, 2, 3, 4, 7, 9, 10 - it's not clear where 5, 6 and 8 are.
Finally, they name the ten 'vainest tweeters' and the ten 'most pointless tweeters'. Needless to say, these are all people whose tweets have been repeatedly published by MailOnline and dressed up as news.