Bank Holiday a total washout? Stop complaining, Express - what could be more British?

At this rate, there won't be any illnesses left soon.

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Sick Left-wing Zealot.

Lookalike girlfriend? Do they mean she looks like him? Well she is human, white and has similar coloured hair.

And 'shows off'? Jesus Christ.

Beard. I'd put money on it.

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Soppy anti-British, pro-crime, anti-education, pro-immigration, anti-family nonentity

It's pensions' turn again.

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Sick Left-wing Zealot.

The cross-promotion thing makes sense from a business point of view, but Desmond is absolutely shameless with the way he's going about it

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I disagreed with the burglar’s policy, of tying me to a chair. But I did admire his convictions.

Without wanting to sound incredibly snobbish, the problem with Desmond is that for all his money, he simply cannot buy class. And while he fawns and grovels for the knighthood he thinks will earn it for him, his chances are that of a snowball in hell.

It's not just the wank mags and grumble videos, it's the bullying, the dodgy associates, the questionable business practices. And above all, the fact that while people may loathe Dacre and fear Rothermere, Desmond and his stable are seen generally as a joke.

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Ten seconds... the pain begins.

Fifteen seconds... you can't breathe.

Twenty seconds... you give up and turn off the Jeremy Vine show.

When Nº3 son was temporarily out of work (as a graphic artist/photographer) a friend got him an intro to a magazine, but no mention of what it was. Turned out to be Desmond's Empire. Son said that having naked women walking around the office was novel...
He turned the job down out of hand, even though the money was excellent, because with Asian Babes or Readers' Wives on his CV he would never be taken seriously again. Apparently working for Desmond is the kiss of death.

Interesting point there. In Danny King's "Pornographer Diaries" (based on his experiences as a staff writer on Mayfair), he said that often nude glamour models would be brought in on interview days, partly to help weed out any perverts chancing their arm. In the novel, an editor says that it's unlikely any magazine staff would meet the models, as most of them lived in eastern Europe. Photo sets were sent in, and then the 'blurbs' were made up out of thin air.

As for the photographers though, it was apparently shag heaven.

_________________
Ten seconds... the pain begins.

Fifteen seconds... you can't breathe.

Twenty seconds... you give up and turn off the Jeremy Vine show.

Don't think that's snobbish at all. If you look at Desmond's portfolio, he's basically set up an empire of businesses which are tacky "me too" imitations of other businesses.

I do wonder to what extent that works? I know he's had a bit of success with Channel 5 (it would have been hard for that to have got any worse, to be quite frank), but do you think many people actually look at one of those front pages and get excited about a remake of an old TV show, or a new lottery?

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I disagreed with the burglar’s policy, of tying me to a chair. But I did admire his convictions.

I actually had an interview for Dezzie's empire, doing the editorial. I was young, I was unemployed, I was desperate. Most it would be writing the shite that goes along with the pictures, but I guess there was the odd DVD review or whatever.

I spent an afternoon there, found it the most depressing place I'd ever been in and also found out I wasn't that desperate after all. Didn't see any of the models around, though was told they did some photo shoots on the floor above.

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Pointless thoughts can be read at http://www.thetediousworld.blogspot.co.uk/

I guess it depends on your definition of success. The Express has lost bucketloads of readers since he took over but since he's got rid of superfluous costs like, say, journalists, it's more profitable than most other papers.

Indeed. He's got an audience who will carry on buying any old crap about royals, pensions and weather warnings. If they're happy with it, and if he's cut costs to the point it's making money, I imagine his view is "why give them caviar if they're happy eating pig shit?".

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Ten seconds... the pain begins.

Fifteen seconds... you can't breathe.

Twenty seconds... you give up and turn off the Jeremy Vine show.

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Sick Left-wing Zealot.

Mini Cooper, now they're talking.