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Bisyss · **Joined:** Tue Feb 12, 2008 4:55 pm **Posts:** 534

I NEVER GOT A SCALEXTRIC FOR MY BIRTHDAY WHEN I WAS 5, IT'S BROWN'S FAULT!!!!!!!

Am I doing it right?

Admirable Chrichton · **Posted:** Fri Jul 04, 2008 5:40 pm

Thats the sort of gist of it, but to be a really authentic pop eyed reactionary loonhead, who is prone to commenting on the DE talkboards blaming Brown for everything since the peasants revolt, it helps to have lots of semi-insane pops at Brown. Going off on bizarre tangents. A liberal sprinkling of typos and oddly placed bursts of upper case letters! Oh and a "patriotic" borderline fascistic avatar (such as a muslim pooing on the Union Jack) and some crackpot rightwing "calling sign" too add to the illusion.

so we may have:

POSTED BY Magda G 45.
INEVVER GOT A SCALEYXTRICK (which would now be BANNED BY OUR PC Mc'globalmcbroon jock traitor climate change EU fASHISTS) FOR MY BIRFDAY when I was actually 5!!! We didn't have peedofiles and Muslims terroristing TAXPAYERS Sniffer dogs back then. THANX traitor Blair. UP YOURS JUDAS BROON you jock haggis.

"I Think muslims are wankers." Jesus. AD34.

A more restrained example of Express Tomfollery I think we can agree.

Citizen Cain · **Posted:** Sat Jul 05, 2008 2:33 pm

I think its time I signed up to the Express messageboard. I've been riling American wingnuts for too long, its time to deal with this pile of crazy. Stand by for hilarity.

bairy · **Joined:** Tue May 08, 2007 1:40 pm **Posts:** 2807

Admirable Chrichton wrote:

POSTED BY Magda G 45.
INEVVER GOT A SCALEYXTRICK (which would now be BANNED BY OUR PC Mc'globalmcbroon jock traitor climate change EU fASHISTS) FOR MY BIRFDAY when I was actually 5!!! We didn't have peedofiles and Muslims terroristing TAXPAYERS Sniffer dogs back then. THANX traitor Blair. UP YOURS JUDAS BROON you jock haggis.

That was a bit too convincing. Something you want to tell us?

Citizen Cain · **Posted:** Sat Jul 05, 2008 2:45 pm

Christ, I don't think their site is compatible with Firefox 3.

Oh they will pay for making me use Internet Explorer. Yes, they will...

Bisyss · **Joined:** Tue Feb 12, 2008 4:55 pm **Posts:** 534

Admirable Chrichton wrote:

Thats the sort of gist of it, but to be a really authentic pop eyed reactionary loonhead, who is prone to commenting on the DE talkboards blaming Brown for everything since the peasants revolt, it helps to have lots of semi-insane pops at Brown. Going off on bizarre tangents. A liberal sprinkling of typos and oddly placed bursts of upper case letters! Oh and a "patriotic" borderline fascistic avatar (such as a muslim pooing on the Union Jack) and some crackpot rightwing "calling sign" too add to the illusion.

so we may have:

POSTED BY Magda G 45.
INEVVER GOT A SCALEYXTRICK (which would now be BANNED BY OUR PC Mc'globalmcbroon jock traitor climate change EU fASHISTS) FOR MY BIRFDAY when I was actually 5!!! We didn't have peedofiles and Muslims terroristing TAXPAYERS Sniffer dogs back then. THANX traitor Blair. UP YOURS JUDAS BROON you jock haggis.

"I Think muslims are wankers." Jesus. AD34.

A more restrained example of Express Tomfollery I think we can agree.

I clearly have a lot to learn.
*takes notes*

Admirable Chrichton · **Posted:** Sat Jul 05, 2008 5:37 pm

I've never posted fake messages on thier boards. But typing out random, badly spelt tirades about muslims interspersed with calling Gordon Brown lots of names tends to produce fairly authentic looking messages. If you haven't seen the postings on there, trust me my scalextric message is tame compared to some of the real things.

Citizen Cain · **Posted:** Sat Jul 05, 2008 8:19 pm

I believe even the Twat-o-tron does not yet have the advanced artificial stupidity necessary to be mistaken for an Express comment poster.

cycloon · **Joined:** Sun Jun 10, 2007 4:07 pm **Posts:** 3246

The Twat O Tron has managed HYS reccomendations, I expect it to evolve and literally spam the hell out of Mail and Express boards.

Citizen Cain · **Posted:** Sun Jul 06, 2008 1:06 pm

I've been convincing programming friends to make a bot which can do just that.

Then all we have to do is make it capable of self-replicating and the internets will become a barren wasteland. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ahem. But yes, the project has stalled because the main programmer has become fascinated by the bad grammar coding and is trying to work it into another bot he is making.

horacegoesskiing · **Posted:** Wed Jul 09, 2008 10:08 am

ONE IN 5 DOGS MISS OUT ON THEIR WALKIES

As soon as I clicked on this story I had a feeling that the comment would have been about Brown. Wasn't too far wrong actually!

Quote:

HAS ANYONE INFORMED MP'S THAT BEING FAT (AND GREEDY) CAN SHORTEN THEIR LIVES?

09.07.08, 5:59am

You can bet our MP's do not walk very far - apart from all the to-ing and fro-ing from the cashiers' office in the House of Conmen to collect their bucketfuls of daily expenses.

• Posted by: ReubenMohawali •

ReubenMohawali seems to be one of the more demented people on the Express site.

queenofherts · **Posted:** Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:23 pm

MONSOON WILL BRING A MONTH OF RAIN TODAY

Go on, guess the comments...

Quote:

HUGE SHOWER!

09.07.08, 12:30am

This will be nothing compared to the shower in 10 Downing Street and the Cabinet!!!!!!!!!!!!

• Posted by: jonG • Report Comment

Quote:

HEY JONG - THE SHOWER IN NO. 10

09.07.08, 12:38am

That's a neat comment!! What a disaster Brown has turned out to be. I really feel for Britain but on the bright side, it can only get better. The sun will shine at No. 10, trust me.

• Posted by: Pendragon • Report Comment

tc-obo · **Posted:** Wed Jul 09, 2008 11:36 pm

And I was only today thinking how Mail-and-Express-like it would be to call this spate of rain a "monsoon".

God this lot are predictable.

queenofherts · **Posted:** Sun Jul 13, 2008 8:02 pm

GAY BISHOP CALLS DECISION A MISTAKE

you can almost hear them frothing at the mouth....

queenofherts · **Posted:** Mon Jul 14, 2008 8:37 pm

Quote:

BRING BACK NATIONAL SERVICE

14.07.08, 2:12pm

Yes, bring it back. If they want to satifsfy their blood lust, let it be for a good cause rather than against innocent people who dare to venture out onto our unsafe streets. People need to be taught to respect the value of life and the people around them. They need to learn the consquences of their actions and this will never be achieved if they are treated with kid gloves.

• Posted by: LindaMidd • Report Comment

yeah, nobody innocent ever got their blood spilled by a squaddie.

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