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Desmond's Discharge

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 Post subject: Desmond's Discharge
PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2013 6:37 pm 
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A nice phrase coined by Andy. Very apt.
I think this might be worthy of being made a sticky, as we do get a different Drip from the Express, largely of course about Europe, UKIP and health (plus the weather, but that's tangential to the Discharge, just reinforcing the Britain is Shit meme).

May include headlines, cartoons, polls and even freebies.

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 Post subject: Re: Desmond's Discharge
PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2013 7:04 pm 
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Jeebus. What with Desmond's Discharge and Dacre's Drip, I'm feeling a bit queasy.

At least we don't have Murdoch's Micturation.

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 Post subject: Re: Desmond's Discharge
PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2013 7:05 pm 
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Nice one. New sticky, mods?

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 Post subject: Re: Desmond's Discharge
PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2013 7:19 pm 
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The Mail, at least in it's online form, tries to appeal to a broad cross section of society. The Express seems intent on going for the 'Mrs Brady Old Lady' stereotype. Ooh it's bitter out, that new doctor black as the ace of spades he was, ooh aren't the royals lovely, excuse me while I pop out for some more cat food. I always wonder how the core readership square it all with Des's other interests.

It's an older, and dare I say it, if not poorer then less aspirational than the Mail target audience. But it's also meaner-spirited, more inclined toward viciousness. It is also irredeemably naff and cheap.

I remember when the Express ran it's campaign for a statue for Bomber Command. I thought 'how perfect for them - choose (deliberately) perhaps the most (only?) contentious branch of the military from WW2, the one with the bit of a moral cloud over it, then scream 'Nazi!' at anyone who raises an objection'.

In terms of generosity of spirit, it's beaten into a cocked hat by the Sun and even the Star. On a technical level, the Mail leaves it standing. It truly is the worst national in Britain. I cannot think of a single redeemable thing about it.

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 Post subject: Re: Desmond's Discharge
PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2013 7:21 pm 
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Oh yes, the weather. Two messages here, depending on the sort of weather:

1. Britain is shit.
2. Britain is awesome, much better weather than those forrin places that think they know all about heat/cold/snow etc. We're better off without them, just us alone, floating in the void.

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 Post subject: Re: Desmond's Discharge
PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2013 8:06 pm 
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Good Lord, this place has missed you Andy.

I think the Express might shovel up some of the older male readers who are put off by the women's magaziney aspect of the Mail. I've mentioned before how my stepfather would take out the middle pages of the Mail and give them to my mother; although the Express now shares a lot of content with OK! and New! it's all celebrity-based. My mother would never have heard of anyone in it; I'm not sure she knows there's such thing as a channel five. The Express doesn't run much of the pop psychology or 'What type of stool are YOU?' or the Mrs Beeton stuff that the Mail has always done (let it be said) very successfully.

Des is little more than a social climber. He uses his media empire primarily to ingratiate himself with celebs and powerful people; he is very eager for said celebs and powerful people to use his publications to promote their own interests. To that extent, I think the Express, far more blatantly than the Mail, reflects the views of the people its proprietor hangs out and aspires to hang out with.

And to think that, less than two decades ago, it was edited by Rosie Boycott.


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 Post subject: Re: Desmond's Discharge
PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2013 9:18 pm 
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Desmond's discharge is now sticky.




Eww.


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 Post subject: Re: Desmond's Discharge
PostPosted: Mon May 20, 2013 9:25 pm 
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It's really a pity that Desmond doesn't realise that for all his 'charidee' works, for all his photocalls with slightly rancid celebrities, he will never be accepted by the establishment, because he's a porn-peddling spiv.

In fairness, he has carved a corner of the market; if you're a Diana-obsessive, it's the paper for you. But the low rent whiff will never go away. The Mail keeps their readership up to date with M&S, the Express advertises discounts at Lidl. As someone else pointed out on another thread, all his businesses are knock-offs of something better, be it Hello! magazine or Sky TV. And all irredeemably cheap.

Anything in his favour? CSI on 5?

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 Post subject: Re: Desmond's Discharge
PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 7:54 am 
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Today's cartoon is an excellent example of the Discharge. Homophobic prejudice reinforced, by appalled gnomes and shire types. Yes, Express readers, you're right - they are ramming it down your throats. And whose fault is it? David Cameron!
Just needs a UKIP reference.

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 Post subject: Re: Desmond's Discharge
PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 8:47 am 
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There is a UKIP reference - one of the old farts is sporting a UKIP rosette.

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 Post subject: Re: Desmond's Discharge
PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 8:49 am 
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Perfect...

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 Post subject: Re: Desmond's Discharge
PostPosted: Tue May 21, 2013 4:10 pm 
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A former colleague who bought it always commended the Sport in the Express, which I thought personally was pretty poor so who knows, he voted Labour.


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 Post subject: Re: Desmond's Discharge
PostPosted: Tue Jun 11, 2013 8:03 am 
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The Express in a nutshell:

Image


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 Post subject: Re: Desmond's Discharge
PostPosted: Mon Jul 01, 2013 7:31 am 
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Another trick of the Desmond Drones is to compose a headline so implausible that the reader can't help but think, "What the feck is that about?", and click. It matters little whether the headline has anything to do with the story or, indeed, with the truth. It's like a Daily Ripley's believe it or not, where the answer is always 'not'. Today's example is a story headlined Going for gold: Women's liberation on the rise thanks to fake tan? which turns out to be advertorial for a cosmetics company that uses 'liberation' in its publicity material. This is the equation at the heart of the Express: contempt for readers, immense serviability to advertisers.


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 Post subject: Re: Desmond's Discharge
PostPosted: Sat Jul 13, 2013 10:35 am 
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Look at the comments.

www.express.co.uk/news/uk/414430/Terror ... by-funeral

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