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Daily Mash

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 Post subject: Daily Mash
PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2012 10:12 am 
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Location: Cyberspace-On-Sea
Quote:
Receptionist shocked to discover sidebar fame

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/cele ... 2051827644

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In its majestic equality, the law forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, beg in the streets, and steal loaves of bread.


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 Post subject: Re: Daily Mash
PostPosted: Fri May 18, 2012 10:16 am 
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Joined: Thu Sep 30, 2010 5:49 pm
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Location: Durham
"Courtney Stodden’s dog’s anus bleacher"
:lol: :lol: :lol:
Now there's an aspiration.

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That subtle admixture of the absurd and the surreally plausible...


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 Post subject: Re: Daily Mash
PostPosted: Wed May 23, 2012 11:04 am 
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Kim Kardashian to face Pippa Middleton in buttock duel

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/cele ... 2052328218

Another thinly veiled SoS pisstake.


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 Post subject: Re: Daily Mash
PostPosted: Wed Jun 06, 2012 10:22 am 
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Squid monster attack doesn't stop Jubilee fun

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In its majestic equality, the law forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, beg in the streets, and steal loaves of bread.


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 Post subject: Re: Daily Mash
PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2012 1:24 pm 
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Housing benefit withdrawn from anyone with under £25 million

Quote:
The new threshold, which ministers are calling the Decency Benchmark, will ensure that poor people with regional accents won’t be able to get their filthy hands on taxpayers’ cash, which will instead be channelled to wealth creators to spend supporting the economy.

:D

I like Newsthump's take on this story even more!
Slaughter of first-borns could save £50bn in Child Benefit, pledges Cameron

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 Post subject: Re: Daily Mash
PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:42 am 
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Olympic volunteers given rocket launchers

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In its majestic equality, the law forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, beg in the streets, and steal loaves of bread.


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 Post subject: Re: Daily Mash
PostPosted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 9:54 am 
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Location: The woods outside the big society
Public confused by concept of Tory rebels

Quote:
Among the rebels are speccy beanpole bully-magnet Jacob Rees-Mogg, door-knocking Christian Nadine Dorries, and pig-eyed tub of rancid lard Nicholas Soames, none of whom can be easily pictured slouching in a doorway wearing a leather jacket.

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 Post subject: Re: Daily Mash
PostPosted: Fri Aug 10, 2012 9:42 am 
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Quote:
Olympics inspires UK to watch television

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/soci ... 2081037801

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In its majestic equality, the law forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, beg in the streets, and steal loaves of bread.


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 Post subject: Re: Daily Mash
PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2012 1:14 am 
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http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/ ... 2080837546

'Up North' to become a single constituency, vows Cameron

Quote:
Meanwhile David Cameron’s home town of Chipping Norton would be split into 27 constituencies, three of them representing areas of Cameron’s house.
Cameron said: “The needs of my bathroom are very different to those of my kitchen or spare room, and I am delighted our electoral system will now recognise those differences.


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 Post subject: Re: Daily Mash
PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 9:27 am 
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Harry photos ruined by old Spanish woman

Image

:lol:

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I disagreed with the burglar’s policy, of tying me to a chair. But I did admire his convictions.


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 Post subject: Re: Daily Mash
PostPosted: Fri Aug 24, 2012 9:34 am 
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Joined: Tue May 26, 2009 11:46 pm
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Location: Sunny Surrey where the vines sit smugly in the sunshine.
Excellent.

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In politics, nothing happens by accident. If it happens, you can bet it was planned that way. Franklin D. Roosevelt


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 Post subject: Re: Daily Mash
PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2012 10:13 am 
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Location: Cyberspace-On-Sea
Quote:
Kate "dismayed" by release of erotic thriller she made in 2003


http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts ... 2091441013

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In its majestic equality, the law forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, beg in the streets, and steal loaves of bread.


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 Post subject: Re: Daily Mash
PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 10:35 am 
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http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/soci ... 2102646535
Quote:
PRISON inmates have set up their own political party in preparation for getting the vote.

They want more mixed prisons, with sexy inmates
The Shawshank Party will campaign on issues such as the introduction of non-slip soap in prison showers, more top bunks and the legalisation of all forms of crime.

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In its majestic equality, the law forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, beg in the streets, and steal loaves of bread.


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 Post subject: Re: Daily Mash
PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 11:32 am 
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BBC to investigate Pugwash rumours
Quote:
Meanwhile, a separate £30m probe will attempt to find out how its radio headquarters in central London came to be named ‘Bush House’

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In its majestic equality, the law forbids rich and poor alike to sleep under bridges, beg in the streets, and steal loaves of bread.


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 Post subject: Re: Daily Mash
PostPosted: Mon Nov 19, 2012 2:25 pm 
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NewsThump:
Polls reveal that Lib Dems now less popular than spoilt ballot papers
Quote:
The low turnout has led to a Newport man being accidentally appointed a police commissioner after he wrote his own name on his ballot paper and placed an X next to it.

:lol:

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I disagreed with the burglar’s policy, of tying me to a chair. But I did admire his convictions.


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