Local paper headlines

Bones McCoy · **Joined:** Mon Aug 16, 2010 9:08 am **Posts:** 7339

eddyk wrote:

My local papers front page headline this week is and I shit you not...

STRANGER DANGER
: Prowler seen hanging about near schools in Grantham area.

With a no doubt dwindling readership, I have noticed my local paper becoming more sensationalist and increasingly more opinion orientated instead of just reporting news.

Snappy headline though, do you think it's original?

Beneath The Underdog · **Posted:** Wed Feb 23, 2011 5:18 pm

Classic sadface over a probem that isn't actually a problem

Councillor Diggory Seacome

Quote:

SATELLITE dishes are ruining the appearance of traditional Regency terraces in Cheltenham, a community leader has claimed.

Enforcement action is needed to prevent the unsightly receivers causing damage to the look of Lansdown, the area's councillors claim.

http://www.thisisgloucestershire.co.uk/ ... ticle.html

I think this covers all bases - sad face, in front of offending object, moody camera angle.

mojojojo · **Joined:** Fri Mar 19, 2010 1:33 pm **Posts:** 4308

[quote="Beneath The Underdog] I think this covers all bases - sad face, in front of offending object, moody camera angle.[/quote]

..fantastic name! Diggory Seacome, heh.

Bones McCoy · **Joined:** Mon Aug 16, 2010 9:08 am **Posts:** 7339

Beneath The Underdog wrote:

Classic sadface over a probem that isn't actually a problem

Councillor Diggory Seacome

Quote:

SATELLITE dishes are ruining the appearance of traditional Regency terraces in Cheltenham, a community leader has claimed.

Enforcement action is needed to prevent the unsightly receivers causing damage to the look of Lansdown, the area's councillors claim.

http://www.thisisgloucestershire.co.uk/ ... ticle.html

I think this covers all bases - sad face, in front of offending object, moody camera angle.

I demand an illustration of a regency house.

Cllr Seacombe hasn't got the hang of this community leader bit.
At least one of Turban or Dreadlocks are mandatory.

Malcolm Armsteen · **Posted:** Wed Feb 23, 2011 5:37 pm

Looks like the photographer hasn't got the hang of focusing, either.

mattomac · **Posted:** Wed Feb 23, 2011 6:12 pm

I bet this Cllr has sky on his house.

bluebellnutter · **Posted:** Wed Feb 23, 2011 7:24 pm

Won't somebody please think of the house prices!!!!!11!!!!

daveinbrum · **Posted:** Thu Feb 24, 2011 10:56 pm

Hopefully someone will notice the rather obvious spelling error at some point:

http://www.bromsgroveadvertiser.co.uk/news/local/8871462.Parent_teachers_association_holds_fundraising_papering_event/

Quote:

Parent teachers association holds fundraising papering event

A PARENT teachers association is holding a women's papering event to raise money for a Bromsgrove school.

Dodford First School’s association is holding the event on Friday, April 1, at the school in Fockbury Road.

A number of treatments will be displayed including reiki, Indian head massage, manicures, pedicures, and reflexology.

Can't beat a good bit of papering!

Tom_UK · **Joined:** Tue Oct 27, 2009 3:14 pm **Posts:** 3168

Beneath The Underdog wrote:

I think this covers all bases - sad face, in front of offending object, moody camera angle.

Bonus thick winter coat standing outside in the bitter cold action too, a la Jeremy Vine's Panorama intros.

SoulBoy · **Joined:** Fri Oct 08, 2010 1:42 pm **Posts:** 1625

Slow News Day in North East...

Boy locked in Middlesbrough bathroom

That story in full...

A five-year-old boy was rescued by firefighters after accidentally locking himself in the bathroom.

The boy became trapped at his home on Acton Street, in Gresham, Middlesbrough, at around 1.15pm on Wednesday.

Firefighters attended and forced the door open.

Robert Macpherson, Middlesbrough Fire Station, said: “He had gone in by himself and turned the latch and his parents could not get him out.”

Read More http://www.gazettelive.co.uk/news/teess ... z1O7ZwkRSL

Bones McCoy · **Joined:** Mon Aug 16, 2010 9:08 am **Posts:** 7339

daveinbrum wrote:

Hopefully someone will notice the rather obvious spelling error at some point:

http://www.bromsgroveadvertiser.co.uk/news/local/8871462.Parent_teachers_association_holds_fundraising_papering_event/

Quote:

Parent teachers association holds fundraising papering event

A PARENT teachers association is holding a women's papering event to raise money for a Bromsgrove school.

Dodford First School’s association is holding the event on Friday, April 1, at the school in Fockbury Road.

A number of treatments will be displayed including reiki, Indian head massage, manicures, pedicures, and reflexology.

Can't beat a good bit of papering!

Something about Catholics, or bags on heads.

Bails · **Joined:** Tue Jun 08, 2010 10:16 am **Posts:** 957

This is the news. God I wish it wasn't.
fill yer boots!

Fflaps · **Posted:** Thu Jun 02, 2011 4:31 pm

Excellent, my favourite so far is

Quote:

A HAMSTER died after a fire in Sunderland.

The blaze, at a three-storey house in Roker Park Road, Roker, started on the first floor of the property.

It is believed the fire started in the bedroom of a 15-year-old girl after an electrical fault with a heater.

Two dogs and a cat were rescued.

Best bit: A HAMSTER

Worst bit: No examination of the cat’s motive. Maybe it wanted a snack? Roast ham(ster)?

Wonder if they've got that ridiculous custard shortage story from Whitstable? To my mind that tops every other local news story, ever.

Edit: Yes they do - along with many other classics. Nice find!

Malcolm Armsteen · **Posted:** Thu Jun 02, 2011 5:05 pm

Fancy a 99?

Sutton Ice cream man caught pleasuring himself in van

Story and comments

mattomac · **Posted:** Thu Jun 02, 2011 6:11 pm

Don't you just love when papers print these....

Quote:

theavengers, sutton says...

Trust me, they won't allow you to truly comment on this story. Too bad as what the public has to say is valid. PROTECT OUR KIDS AND DON'T BUY FROM THIS SICKO! Won't print that , will you??? Wouldn't want to upset the weirdo????

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