Are you on Facebook? And is it ruining your life?
Of course, such tactics may shock traditionalists, but in 21st-Century Britain the forging of personal relationships - be they romantic or just as friends - now has far less to do with locking eyes across a smoked-filled room than logging on to a PC.
"Isn't this disgraceful!!!"
Of course, those are just averages and the truth of the matter is that a whole generation of Facebook addicts is gradually emerging.
Of course, because the Mail doesn't understand it, ergo all young people are immediately tarnished as "addicted to Facebook".
Alice Egerton is 23 and a full-time mum to Harry, who was born eight months ago.
She first signed up with Facebook a year ago and has been hooked ever since.
"I couldn't imagine life without it," she says.
"For me, it's more than just a website. It is a huge and very important part of my social life."
Chances are if shes a full time Mum she doesn't get to meet too many people, but then I suppose in Mail land she should hire a nanny
Only an idiot would waste time on there, there might be millions, but they're all idiots.
- Harry, North Lincs
Harry proving that he clearly has no idea what todays teenagers are into. You can almost hear him mutterin "In my day..." into his cocoa
The whole internet is pernicious. It takes over your life and you don't even notice. It's amazing how.
Fortunately the internet is like stress, it only does you in until you notice.
- Charles, London
Yes, and people who go to newspaper websites in order to tell the world what they think must be pretty badly addicted...
Ban the internet!
- Donald Dehaviland, Fleet, Hampshire, England (not Europe)
Next week, Government announces it will ban internet, and Donald Dehaviland will be going ape about "more banning by the ban brigade, PC gone mad" etc
You're just terrified of anything modern aren't you? I log onto Facebook every day - all of my friends are people I know in real life, we keep in touch and organise nights out etc. through Facebook because it's cheaper and more convenient than the phone! And to say it's all trivial is a lie - there are some very serious debates and campaigns run via Facebook groups.
- Victoria, Essex
Well done Victoria, how did that one get through the net?
I'm suprised no-ones mentioned paedophiles using it yet, presumably either they haven't grasped the fact or believe everything is about paedophiles online