The life and times of Justin Bieber

Timbo · **Posted:** Mon Jan 17, 2011 4:29 pm

The shrieking midget seems to have taken up permanent residence in the right-hand 'features' column on the Mail website lately. This is the latest of 218 articles about him in a little less than two years. Today we have 'teenage boy changes hairstyle'. I shall keep you posted as things progress:

One of a fuckload of other identical images taken at the same time from slightly different zooms / angles.
Can anyone else spell "desperate attempt to appeal to tweenage-girl pester power?"

storygirl · **Posted:** Mon Jan 17, 2011 6:37 pm

Who is this guy,I have seen his name elsewhere?

Andy McDandy · **Posted:** Mon Jan 17, 2011 7:35 pm

He is the bastard child spawned from a five-up between Taylor Swift, the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus.

A point Russell Brand made rather well was that all of these tween stars sell an image based on wholesomeness (and in the case of all those mentioned above, virginity). "We're virgins. Aren't we great? And cute? And virgins.".

Which is pretty damn perverted when you think far too long about it.

lord_kobel · **Posted:** Mon Jan 17, 2011 7:42 pm

storygirl wrote:

Who is this guy,I have seen his name elsewhere?

might have been from this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVLmC8Motfg
or this? http://lesbianswholooklikejustinbieber.tumblr.com/

Adam · **Posted:** Mon Jan 17, 2011 10:30 pm

I mentioned him in passing once on twitter. Not in a particularly derogatory way, or anything. I got five responses from teenage girls, none of them being particularly aggressive or anything, that were all variations on the theme of "Justin Bieber is really great". It was weird. They weren't attacking me for slagging him off (which I hadn't), it was almost as if they saw his name and automatically responded. It freaked me the fuck out.

storygirl · **Posted:** Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:17 pm

Andy McDandy wrote:

He is the bastard child spawned from a five-up between Taylor Swift, the Jonas Brothers and Miley Cyrus.

A point Russell Brand made rather well was that all of these tween stars sell an image based on wholesomeness (and in the case of all those mentioned above, virginity). "We're virgins. Aren't we great? And cute? And virgins.".

Which is pretty damn perverted when you think far too long about it.

It is perverted,and Katie Perry made a fortune by playing up to the contradictions,

IanC · **Joined:** Fri Jun 02, 2006 6:30 pm **Posts:** 1404

THAT'S Justin Bieber??

... thats who teen girls go mad over? Him?

WHY!?!?!

mojojojo · **Joined:** Fri Mar 19, 2010 1:33 pm **Posts:** 4264

As usual South Park did the subject of the Jonas Brothers and promise rings really well

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ring_(South_Park)

Son Of Hand · **Posted:** Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:55 pm

Are you sure that isn't Keira Knightley's school photo?

cycloon · **Joined:** Sun Jun 10, 2007 4:07 pm **Posts:** 3242

IanC wrote:

THAT'S Justin Bieber??

... thats who teen girls go mad over? Him?

WHY!?!?!

A question at once so infuriating, yet so utterly hopeless.

cycloon · **Joined:** Sun Jun 10, 2007 4:07 pm **Posts:** 3242

mojojojo wrote:

As usual South Park did the subject of the Jonas Brothers and promise rings really well

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ring_(South_Park)

South Park really is great. It's quite right to point out that, in effect, the rings, or Britney's 'virginal' nature are paper-thin covers for people sold as sex objects to kids.

Abernathy · **Posted:** Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:34 am

Justin formerly had a very strange sort of wraparound hairstyle (though it merely served to over-stimulate the production of teenage oestrogen):

I'm not entirely sure he's shaken that off with the new cut.

Timbo · **Posted:** Tue Jan 18, 2011 4:50 pm

The cynic in me is starting to think Mr Dacre isn't a 'true belieber' at all. He's just exploiting poor Justin for the Google-juice.
Upon what basis do I dare make this startling accusation? Todays gratuitous name-drop and meta-tag in a completely irrelevant article:

Model misbehaviour: Kate Moss in passionate embrace with transsexual model Lea T for latest Love magazine cover
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... cover.html

Then, buried deep down near the foot of the article:

Quote:

If that isn't enough, teen heartthrob Justin Bieber is also a cover star.
His androgynous looks have even inspired a website, 'Lesbians who look like Justin Bieber', where readers can send in pictures of female lookalikes.

This little reference was apparently enough to warrant him being one of the five people meta-tagged in the article

Bones McCoy · **Joined:** Mon Aug 16, 2010 9:08 am **Posts:** 7321

Now post a picture of little Jimy Osmondnect to him.

Then tell me one of the twins wasn't frozen by Mormons for when the 1st generation Tithes started to run out.

Timbo · **Posted:** Mon Jan 24, 2011 8:13 pm

Cartoon cutie: Justin Bieber shows off his Smurf style at basketball game
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/ar ... -game.html

Basically an entire article has been drawn out about his hair (again) and the fact the hat he wore on this occasion was blue. Smurfs are also blue. ZOMG! That's totally newsworthy, amirite?

Cue the inevitable picfest for the tweenager/paedophile wank market:

The life and times of Justin Bieber

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