Local paper headlines

Bernadette · **Joined:** Tue Mar 21, 2006 5:36 pm **Posts:** 1089

Best comment:

Quote:

"A mum-of-two captured footage of Italian Coffaro after SPYING him out of her window..."
She then proceeded to get her son along for a look too? That sounds like a flaky excuse for voyeurism? If he'd filmed her Jubblies or god forbid, her munching on the Strawberry Mivvi , and asked his son to watch too he'd zoomed down the police station and his Funny Feet wouldn't touch the ground!

Poor old boy is a soft-target as he's probably a screwball but after years of selling hundreds and thousands of ice creams you'd think he'd know that whipping out his mini-milk wasn't such a fab idea.

"In this case, it's fair to say an unannounced visit will be carried out soon." As long as he doesn't see you coming before you see...

I do hope this poor ice cream man doesn't go on to top himself...

Bones McCoy · **Joined:** Mon Aug 16, 2010 9:08 am **Posts:** 7344

Bernadette wrote:

Best comment:

Quote:

"A mum-of-two captured footage of Italian Coffaro after SPYING him out of her window..."
She then proceeded to get her son along for a look too? That sounds like a flaky excuse for voyeurism? If he'd filmed her Jubblies or god forbid, her munching on the Strawberry Mivvi , and asked his son to watch too he'd zoomed down the police station and his Funny Feet wouldn't touch the ground!

Poor old boy is a soft-target as he's probably a screwball but after years of selling hundreds and thousands of ice creams you'd think he'd know that whipping out his mini-milk wasn't such a fab idea.

"In this case, it's fair to say an unannounced visit will be carried out soon." As long as he doesn't see you coming before you see...

I do hope this poor ice cream man doesn't go on to top himself...

I'm struggling to insert a reference to a "Lolly gobble choc bomb", ahh innocent childhood pleasures.

ivorsengine · **Joined:** Tue Sep 21, 2010 3:18 pm **Posts:** 35

Quote:

Sutton Ice cream man caught pleasuring himself in van

Quote:

trading standards said it could not stop him working because his offence was not sufficient for an immediate trading ban.

hang on, just what sin must you commit, just what level of depravity must you sink to before you get an immediate ban? Surely if there is a reason to stop someone from serving food to children surely cracking on off in the food prep area must be a pretty good reason?

Malcolm Armsteen · **Posted:** Thu Jun 02, 2011 9:41 pm

Quite. You'd have to worry if he offered you sprinkles.

Bones McCoy · **Joined:** Mon Aug 16, 2010 9:08 am **Posts:** 7344

ivorsengine wrote:

Quote:

Sutton Ice cream man caught pleasuring himself in van

Quote:

trading standards said it could not stop him working because his offence was not sufficient for an immediate trading ban.

hang on, just what sin must you commit, just what level of depravity must you sink to before you get an immediate ban? Surely if there is a reason to stop someone from serving food to children surely cracking on off in the food prep area must be a pretty good reason?

Of course that's common sense Ivor, but we ran out of that in 1959.
Now PC GornMad from the EUSSR and Tony Bliar's Elves and Safeties force every council to employ a wanking grandad to serve the kiddies.
All in the name of Yuman rites you understand.
You couldn't make it up.

Malcolm Armsteen · **Posted:** Thu Jun 02, 2011 10:55 pm

Don't forget he's a forrin wanking grandad...

ivorsengine · **Joined:** Tue Sep 21, 2010 3:18 pm **Posts:** 35

Quote:

Of course that's common sense Ivor, but we ran out of that in 1959.
Now PC GornMad from the EUSSR and Tony Bliar's Elves and Safeties force every council to employ a wanking grandad to serve the kiddies.
All in the name of Yuman rites you understand.
You couldn't make it up.

well done Bones, I do believe you have just written mr littlejohn's next column

Bones McCoy · **Joined:** Mon Aug 16, 2010 9:08 am **Posts:** 7344

ivorsengine wrote:

Quote:

Of course that's common sense Ivor, but we ran out of that in 1959.
Now PC GornMad from the EUSSR and Tony Bliar's Elves and Safeties force every council to employ a wanking grandad to serve the kiddies.
All in the name of Yuman rites you understand.
You couldn't make it up.

well done Bones, I do believe you have just written mr littlejohn's next column

I've actually been ghosting for him for the last 4 weeks.
Some of the comments here (especially the ones about him losing his touch) have been very hurtful.

I think I'll be up to speed on the Gypsies, Blacks and Non Jobs in a couple more weeks.

Bernadette · **Joined:** Tue Mar 21, 2006 5:36 pm **Posts:** 1089

ivorsengine wrote:

Quote:

Sutton Ice cream man caught pleasuring himself in van

Quote:

trading standards said it could not stop him working because his offence was not sufficient for an immediate trading ban.

hang on, just what sin must you commit, just what level of depravity must you sink to before you get an immediate ban?

Not washing your hands afterwards?

Fozzy · **Posted:** Fri Jun 03, 2011 2:19 pm

Bones McCoy wrote:

ivorsengine wrote:

Quote:

Of course that's common sense Ivor, but we ran out of that in 1959.
Now PC GornMad from the EUSSR and Tony Bliar's Elves and Safeties force every council to employ a wanking grandad to serve the kiddies.
All in the name of Yuman rites you understand.
You couldn't make it up.

well done Bones, I do believe you have just written mr littlejohn's next column

I've actually been ghosting for him for the last 4 weeks.
Some of the comments here (especially the ones about him losing his touch) have been very hurtful.

I think I'll be up to speed on the Gypsies, Blacks and Non Jobs in a couple more weeks.

Skiving today, are you?

Bones McCoy · **Joined:** Mon Aug 16, 2010 9:08 am **Posts:** 7344

It's a lovely day here in Glasgow, so I've been out gardening with Tuffers and Aggers providing background.

Dickie's avid readers can go play with themselves till next week.

oboogie · **Posted:** Fri Jun 03, 2011 3:45 pm

Malcolm Armsteen wrote:

Quite. You'd have to worry if he offered you sprinkles.

I wonder if he offers a Lemon Top?

For those who know Redcar.

Bones McCoy · **Joined:** Mon Aug 16, 2010 9:08 am **Posts:** 7344

Bones McCoy wrote:

It's a lovely day here in Glasgow, so I've been out gardening with Tuffers and Aggers providing background.

Dickie's avid readers can go play with themselves till next week.

It was a lovely day in Glasgow till The Glaswegian dropped through the door.

Here's their take on a story we discussed recently.
http://www.theglaswegian.co.uk/glasgow- ... -23169428/

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