.

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Sick Left-wing Zealot.

When they divorce.

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That subtle admixture of the absurd and the surreally plausible...

I thought this was going to be a typical mail poll, where we'd have a choice of "yes" or "no" for answers.

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The upper hand is on the other foot now.

Yes

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Where there is great doubt, there will be great awakening; small doubt, small awakening, no doubt, no awakening.

When Kate announces her pregnancy. Then they can spend a happy 7 months saying how small her bump is and comparing her maternity dresses with Diana's and speculating about exactly how she will give birth and what she'll call it and whether her mother <spit> will be allowed anywhere near it with her filthy peasant hands and so on. And then they can move seamlessly on to Royal Baby until it's time for Wean No 2. Good old Kate, the solo sustainer of the tabloids from now till 2035.

When William is photographed on a sordid gay retreat on a secret sun-soaked isle. As a staunch republican I avoid anything to do with the Windsors but from what I have been unable to avoid I discern absolutely bugger all rapport between him and his wife. The press enthuse about them but I see her looking jolly pleased at being made for life and him looking glad to have pulled off the deception. Gay as a window box.

I still remember the stunned shock in my workplace when George Michael announced he was gay. He'd only written various songs strongly hinting at it and made less and less efforts to hid it for years. There were still about 500 women in my office coming to terms with the fact that this meant they weren't going to marry him after all though.

When Harry gets married.

Oh, hang on...

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"Even when you're a super-computer with an IQ of 2000 it's brown trousers time."

Reclaiming "methinks" for the nation

Latest blog post - 2011 - a review (updated 07/10)

My mum shares this sort of Blind spot.
She was among the hordes who were shocked when Rock Hudson was outed.
A recent discussion regarding Eurovision led to
"But Graham Norton's not really like that, it's all an act like that Mister Humphries".
And also
"Eurovision can't be gay, they had Cliff Richard in it".

Apologies, I've digressed awfully, something about royal wedding - shoes, hats.

I heard of a woman who was so bigoted and stupid that when she heard that Rock Hudson was not only gay and had died of AIDS but had been buried at sea swore that she had given up eating fish. This is true.

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I'm a nasty, violent lefty. You cunt.

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The upper hand is on the other foot now.

Never.

Like Diana, even if they divorce, the Mail will always find an excuse.

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"Now get those trousers off before someone dies!"

You could have messed with her a little. Perhaps serving her some rock and chips whilst explaining how sea water is chemically very similar to blood. So the AIDS will flourish. And get her.

It's gone. Probably to make room for the Snuff Video tab.

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Sick Left-wing Zealot.

And no survey option for Phil the Greek's 90th...

...as a prospective snuff video? I'd pull up a chair to watch that be televised.