Sadly for us, la Littlejohn has had to protect her Twitter feed from all the nasty people on the internets. But there are still plenty of DM hacks providing their bons mots for the enrichment of humankind.

Occasionally one can glean little titbits about the daily grind in Northcliffe House, such as the phantom vomiter in the women's loos, for instance.

With the showbiz hacks, though, it's mostly drivel about clothes and chocolate and bitchy remarks about their colleagues (don't these people have email or phones for this?!?).

Highlight of the past week was this 'retweet' by one of them:



Hmm, I thought, that seemed an unlikely thing for him to say. Turns out this is what he actually wrote:



That's reminiscent of the practice of selectively quoting from film reviews -- like when a reviewer writes something like, "this film is a breathtaking pile of shit" but the only thing that makes it onto the poster or DVD cover is "BREATHTAKING!!!!"

I'm just back from visiting the Easter baby animals.
Very cute, but in a restricted greenhouse on a very warm day, I've experienced the true message of breathtaking shit.

Top Marks to Glasgow council for getting in mobile AC units to cool off the larger mammalian ones.

Big Ahh factor for the little chick that emerged from its egg while we were watching the incubator.

Here are a couple more:

Tamara Abraham seems to live in New York, yet she's 'written' today's heavily-churned article about girls on CBeebies.

Jenna Good writes filler celeb stories. She's the kind of moron who begins a tweet with "Lovin something or other"; she also posts delightful observations of people on the Tube, such as:


I wouldn't bother following either of them, their social lives sound as dull as their articles.

I hope she adheres to the Mail's drugs line in Ibiza.

An interesting bit of in-house jargon revealed by the Mail Online's showbiz editor (Georgina L's line manager, I presume):

Only question is, who is it that ought to be ashamed?


Feel the quality.

Next time the Mail runs a story about Mickey Mouse subjects, it might be worth pointing out that McConnell has a BA in Media. Or that Paul Dacre's wife teaches Theatre Studies at an FE college and has published publicly-funded* research papers on Teaching Stanislavski and Inclusive Performance Training in Applied Theatre and Performance.


* I'm not 100% sure that Palatine is a public funding body. Any FE experts about?

More insight into tabloid 'thinking', courtesy of the Mail Online showbiz ed:


(translation: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE LOL)

Donna McConnell has an interesting cv. She is the one without the glasses:

Donna from the She Rockers? That is up there with finding out that Damon "Nomad" Rochefort now writes Corrie.

Jam It Jam is some truly dated shit but On Stage still does the business with B Boy crowds, love that Hot Wheels break -

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I'd rather shoot Paul Dacre than anyone else in the country- Colin Dexter. A direct quote from the Radio Times m'learned friends

Here's a short film of DM hack and self-professed Disney Princess Iona Kirby getting ready for a night out, interspersed with someone interesting doing the same:

The blog of yet another Australian DM freelancer, Daisy Dumas, boldly proclaims:


Our understanding of everyday life has increased tremendously thanks to Dumas's work for the Mail, which she describes as "a steep learning curve". So far she has mostly explored interactions of people, press releases and hype, in stories such as Kirsten Dunst tells Elle about her broken heart, Nicki Minaj and Ricki Martin new faces of Mac, Drew Barrymore heads up Neiman Marcus campaign and Big Sexy obese ladies reality show (maybe that's where the food comes in).

Couple of cock v conscience candidates there.

Daisy Dumbass?

Wow. 34 seconds in and she's making a gunshot hand gesture. Wonder what hardcore stable mates Heffer and Glover would make of this

Their site has resorted to hacking into Facebook and lifting Twitter posts a lot this year, so it's really good to see the tables being turned like this.

Rusbridger gets on live feeds/text updates, so why can't Dacre?

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"...now, with a most inhuman cruelty, they who have put out the people’s eyes, reproach them of their blindness..."

A witness to today's vagina monologue at Northcliffe House?