Private Eye apologises to Eurosceptics!

Emmett Jenner · **Joined:** Thu Nov 18, 2010 11:11 am **Posts:** 509

"In common with all other Europhile columnists, I have spent the past 20 years suggesting that opponents of the EU are little better than football hooligans. Whatever their stated objections, I have insisted on inferring chauvinism as their real motive. Eurosceptics might have protested that the European Commission was undemocratic, that the EU budget was corrupt, that the Common Agricultural and Fisheries Policies were disastrous. But I interpreted these objections as crude dog-whistles to xenophobes. Critics of the Brussels system might speak Esperanto (as Sir Teddy does), or be married to Germans (as Nigel Farage is), but I dismissed them as Little Englanders of the ugliest sort.

"I now accept that they were right all along. The EU has wrecked our economy, distorted our democracy and curtailed our liberty. Had we listened to the sceptics 20 years ago, we might now be in the enviable position of Norway and Switzerland. In fact, the real narrow-mindedness was on the part of those pro-Europeans who, because they wanted to flaunt their disdain for nationalism, averted their eyes from the EU's failings. We turn out to have been the bigots all along. I apologise for any confusion caused".

I thought this was pretty funny.

bluebellnutter · **Posted:** Wed Sep 14, 2011 11:04 am

crabcakes_windermere · **Joined:** Thu Nov 26, 2009 1:56 pm **Posts:** 2084

Who wrote it?

Malcolm Armsteen · **Posted:** Wed Sep 14, 2011 11:42 am

Emblejennip.

mattomac · **Posted:** Wed Sep 14, 2011 4:35 pm

Can't find it in my current copy, it almost sounds like one of those satrical ones from the comic part of the paper. Hence the two countries they name.

Picklechu2 · **Joined:** Mon Oct 13, 2008 10:01 pm **Posts:** 640

It reads exactly like the comic articles such as,

"Andy Murray: An Apology.
In common with other parts of the media we may have called you a useless Scottish git. Now following your epic win at soandso we are happy to recognise you as one of the greatest British sportsmen ever." (cont p.94)

...etc where they ridicule tabloid reverse ferrets.

Malcolm Armsteen · **Posted:** Thu Sep 15, 2011 10:01 am

i·ro·ny/ˈīrənē/
Noun: The expression of one's meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect.

Killer Whale · **Posted:** Thu Sep 15, 2011 11:19 am

Quote:

"In common with all other Unionist columnists, I have spent the past 20 years suggesting that opponents of the UK are little better than football hooligans. Whatever their stated objections, I have insisted on inferring chauvinism as their real motive. Welsh nationalists might have protested that the UK was undemocratic, that the Barnett formula was corrupt, that the power of the City of London was disastrous. But I interpreted these objections as crude dog-whistles to xenophobes. Critics of the UK might speak English (as all Welsh people do), or actually come from England (as Helen Mary Jones does), but I dismissed them as Plaidos of the ugliest sort.

"I now accept that they were right all along. The dominance of England in the UK has wrecked our economy, distorted our democracy and curtailed our liberty. Had we listened to the nationalists 40 years ago, we might now be in the enviable position of Luxembourg and Sweden. In fact, the real narrow-mindedness was on the part of those Unionists who, because they wanted to flaunt their disdain for nationalism, averted their eyes from the UK's failings. We turn out to have been the bigots all along. I apologise for any confusion caused".

I didn't even have to try to make that work. But point out the irony of UKIPs unionism in the UK and nationalism outside and you'll be met with blank stares. Partly because they conflate England and the UK, but partly because they're thick twats.

Lord Reason · **Joined:** Wed Aug 10, 2011 3:48 pm **Posts:** 75

bluebellnutter wrote:

That's your answer to everything, Nutter.

Emmett Jenner · **Joined:** Thu Nov 18, 2010 11:11 am **Posts:** 509

Killer Whale wrote:

Quote:

"In common with all other Unionist columnists, I have spent the past 20 years suggesting that opponents of the UK are little better than football hooligans. Whatever their stated objections, I have insisted on inferring chauvinism as their real motive. Welsh nationalists might have protested that the UK was undemocratic, that the Barnett formula was corrupt, that the power of the City of London was disastrous. But I interpreted these objections as crude dog-whistles to xenophobes. Critics of the UK might speak English (as all Welsh people do), or actually come from England (as Helen Mary Jones does), but I dismissed them as Plaidos of the ugliest sort.

"I now accept that they were right all along. The dominance of England in the UK has wrecked our economy, distorted our democracy and curtailed our liberty. Had we listened to the nationalists 40 years ago, we might now be in the enviable position of Luxembourg and Sweden. In fact, the real narrow-mindedness was on the part of those Unionists who, because they wanted to flaunt their disdain for nationalism, averted their eyes from the UK's failings. We turn out to have been the bigots all along. I apologise for any confusion caused".

I didn't even have to try to make that work. But point out the irony of UKIPs unionism in the UK and nationalism outside and you'll be met with blank stares. Partly because they conflate England and the UK, but partly because they're thick twats.

That's just opinion dressed up as fact. Isn't it obvious that the UK as a whole is an entity worth fighting to protect?

mojojojo · **Joined:** Fri Mar 19, 2010 1:33 pm **Posts:** 4312

Lord Reason wrote:

bluebellnutter wrote:

That's your answer to everything, Nutter.

Um, that made me laugh out loud.

Malcolm Armsteen · **Posted:** Tue Sep 27, 2011 4:33 pm

Quote:

That's just opinion dressed up as fact. Isn't it obvious that the UK as a whole is an entity worth fighting to protect?

What, if anything, does that mean? Apart from the multiple redundancies of phrase, I mean. The UK as a whole is an entity - no shit.
We've been treated to some top-rate writing by Kippers this week and no mistake. They write English as well as Dick Van Dyke does cockney.

Anyway, Emble, how are the campaigns to enforce passive smoking and bring back the saloon bar going? Gaspers out and puffing are we?
Tell me, in Narglefargle's courageous and bold campaign to personally and single-handedly save the saloon bar culture, will it be compulsory for all pubs to serve warm beer in dimpled mugs, or will there be wiggle room for straight glasses or even lager? How many Real Ales will pubs have to serve? Can we just smoke passively or will we all have to cough our last on a packet of Navy Cut? These are things the electorate wants to know.

crabcakes_windermere · **Joined:** Thu Nov 26, 2009 1:56 pm **Posts:** 2084

Emmett Jenner wrote:

That's just opinion dressed up as fact. Isn't it obvious that the UK as a whole is an entity worth fighting to protect?

Please explain why four different countries that work together but exist as separate entities despite considerable animosity between certain factions and population groups in those countries is fundamentally different to a larger group of countries working together but existing separately, and why you feel one should be dissolved but the other not?

Surely, as the EU is not as close a union as the UK, the UK should be looking to be more like the EU in the first instance so every member state has their sovereignty. Then we can worry about who wants to be in and who wants to be out later. For example, what right do you as an Englishman have to decide that a Scotsman has to stay in your club and/or that Scotland can't be in the EU if it wishes?

Or to summarise: please come up with an explanation of how UKIP justifies its plans to have its cake and eat it.

Malcolm Armsteen · **Posted:** Tue Sep 27, 2011 4:48 pm

Narglefargle is a stockbroker. He's used to having your cake, eating it and then charging you for the privilege.

He also said, of David Cameron, "I liked him because he’s a smoker, you see, which is a very good thing,”

Malcolm Armsteen · **Posted:** Tue Sep 27, 2011 4:54 pm

Narglefargle and expenses...

Private Eye apologises to Eurosceptics!

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