Pathetic surveys

Malcolm Armsteen · **Posted:** Sun Dec 18, 2011 4:14 pm

ezinra wrote:

Quote:

Women were revealed as the sex most likely to show their disappointment, with one in five husbands also said their wife admitted when they didn't like a gift compared to just 15 per cent of women who said their partner did the same.

A beautifully written sentence.

From a survey about Christmas presents conducted by a gift retailer.

She's experienced at reworking press releases, as well.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... -meal.html

MacGuffin · **Joined:** Thu Oct 08, 2009 11:07 pm **Posts:** 427

ezinra wrote:

Research, from online travel retailer lastminute.com, that 55 per cent of employees will get drunk at their Christmas party.

Excuse to print more tut-tut pictures of "female revellers dressed as fairies" and "a girl in a sexy Santa outfit".

Churnalism.com says: http://churnalism.com/8fuud/#2tbpf

And to even include the fact it's on offer until 3 Jan...woeful.

Arnold · **Posted:** Wed Dec 21, 2011 3:52 pm

Quote:

Real meaning of Christmas lost on today's children as nearly quarter believe 25th December is Simon Cowell's birthday

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... z1hBHI7I6R

Quote:

In addition, the research by online retailer Woolworths.co.uk found 24 per cent of children believe that Brentwood in Essex, home to TOWIE stars favourite nightclub the Sugar Hut, was the location of Jesus' birth

Malcolm Armsteen · **Posted:** Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:03 pm

Oh gods.

Oldest trick in the book. Give a load of kids a multiple-choice test and let confusion, anarchy and satire do the rest. Of course, you must first assume that kids have no sense of humour...

But Dacre's Drip™ is in operation, as seen in the first comment:

Quote:

If this is true it shows the apalling standard of teaching in our schools.

- keith, leamington spa

Including spelling, presumably, keith - of and the use of capital letters on proper nouns?

mojojojo · **Joined:** Fri Mar 19, 2010 1:33 pm **Posts:** 4278

Malcolm Armsteen wrote:

Oh gods.

Oldest trick in the book. Give a load of kids a multiple-choice test and let confusion, anarchy and satire do the rest. Of course, you must first assume that kids have no sense of humour...

Was about to say something similar.

Really likely that when any child was asked 'where was Jesus born?' they said 'Brentwood, Essex', isn't it?

Give them the choice of Palestine, Brentwood and the moon and maybe they'll get it wrong and we can laugh at them.

moonshien · **Posted:** Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:09 pm

mojojojo wrote:

Malcolm Armsteen wrote:

maybe they'll get it wrong and we can laugh at them.

Why would woolworth's want to do that?

Malcolm Armsteen · **Posted:** Wed Dec 21, 2011 4:10 pm

Like all those 'exam howler' things that go viral. Anyone with any experience of kids or humour should recognise when they are having their todger tugged.

Fozzy · **Posted:** Wed Dec 21, 2011 5:04 pm

I must say, when I was a teenager if someone had dropped a multiple choice test like that on me, I would have felt honour bound to tick the box for Brentwood as Jesus' birthplace, and equally the temptation to say that 25th December was Simon Cowell's birthday would have been wholly irresistible - though in the far off days when I was a teenager I would probably have gone for Mick Jagger.

lord_kobel · **Posted:** Wed Dec 21, 2011 8:11 pm

moonshien wrote:

mojojojo wrote:

Malcolm Armsteen wrote:

maybe they'll get it wrong and we can laugh at them.

Why would woolworth's want to do that?

Got their name in the paper, didn't it?

SoulBoy · **Joined:** Fri Oct 08, 2010 1:42 pm **Posts:** 1625

Fozzy wrote:

I must say, when I was a teenager if someone had dropped a multiple choice test like that on me, I would have felt honour bound to tick the box for Brentwood as Jesus' birthplace, and equally the temptation to say that 25th December was Simon Cowell's birthday would have been wholly irresistible - though in the far off days when I was a teenager I would probably have gone for Mick Jagger.

I went for Annie lennox. That showed them!

shyamz · **Posted:** Thu Dec 22, 2011 10:54 pm

They must have known this would happen, as every child since the dawn of time has done this.

Kids know when they're been set up to be laughed at or called stupid, and they fuck the tests accordingly.

The people who set this test would have been no different when they were young, so what was the point?

Malcolm Armsteen · **Posted:** Thu Dec 22, 2011 11:08 pm

You have to ask?

SoulBoy · **Joined:** Fri Oct 08, 2010 1:42 pm **Posts:** 1625

I look forward to the day when they present the real survey data, including spoiled papers.

Quote:

When asked 50% of teenage boys thought Winston Churchill was a massive spunking cock, pubes optional

Arnold · **Posted:** Fri Dec 30, 2011 10:43 am

Quote:

For Auld Lang's blah, blah, blah: Poll finds most people don't know the words to Burns' classic New Year's Eve song

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z1i0eQD5ga

Tom_UK · **Joined:** Tue Oct 27, 2009 3:14 pm **Posts:** 3168

Oh well, at least Warner Brothers got a free plug for their shitty film:

Quote:

The survey, to mark the release of Warner Bros’ ensemble comedy New Year’s Eve, found 10 per cent typically gaze upwards through the duration of the song to avoid being detected.

A cowardly 5 per cent actually leave the room altogether.

Rather fittingly, the most commonly misremembered lyric was: ‘Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind?’

Some scamps replace the line with: ‘Should old acquaintance be forgot, and something else that rhymes.’

In total, 2,105 adults responded to the poll commissioned to promote the Hollywood film, which features a string of stars including Halle Berry, Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron and Sarah Jessica Parker.

Pathetic surveys

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