Missing Caroline? As One Direction enjoy yet more female attention, Harry Styles looks glum during photo shoot
It took THREE 'journalists' to adorn these paparazzi pictures with idle, idiotic speculation.Not interested: While his bandmates appear to be enjoying the female presence in the US, Harry Styles' spirits have seemed low
Or: Man with neutral facial expression takes phone call.Having a manly heart-to-heart? Perhaps Harry was confiding his upset over his breakup with Caroline Flack to Niall
Yeah, or perhaps he was discussing quantum theory.
The three amigas can't even manage internal consistency as they employ their formidable analytical skills to interpret the goings-on:
while the rest of One Directon lap up the female attention in Los Angeles, one of their number doesn't seem remotely interested
Harry chatted briefly to one girl, but appeared to be guiding her elsewhere
(by which they mean "pointed"). Then we are informed by our snoopers that:
Harry has barely smiled since he touched down on US soil
Harry smiled briefly for a group shot with the boys when they arrived at the LA studio
'Briefly' here means 'runs completely contrary to our narrative, but fuck it Mr Rothermere has paid for the pictures and this is the best we can think of to salvage this pathetic non-story from the spike where it belongs'.