Royal uterus watch

bluebellnutter · **Posted:** Mon Jan 30, 2012 2:52 pm

Thus glossing over the whole handcuffs / whipped cream / "who's your daddy" part of it?

Fozzy · **Posted:** Mon Jan 30, 2012 4:18 pm

shyamz wrote:

I bet the more ardent royalists can't bear the thought of that royal Disney story couple having real sex like common folk.

I'm sure they'd like to believe they kiss in a rose covered gazeebo in the grounds of one of the palaces and then have the sprog dropped through the chimney nine months later by a stork.

You're probably right, but the tabloids could never go along with it. That would deprive them of 9 months of articles about the baby bump, is Kate too posh to push, which hospital gets the honour of the royal accouchement, discussion of royal maternity wear, exclusive piccies of the room where The Event will happen, lots of gushing stuff about how brave HRH is; followed by a year of disapproval of her getting her figure back too quickly/not quickly enough.

mojojojo · **Joined:** Fri Mar 19, 2010 1:33 pm **Posts:** 4311

2k. wrote:

By just, she was actually born the day after I joined this site, so she's almost 6 months old now! Still feels strange but without wanting to get all mushy she's a little sweetheart. However she'll be brought up as an evil socialist liberal yoghurt weaver :twisted:

Marvellous. Wh have a ten month old boy being brought up in just the same way. Actually he likes lentils whereas I don't And peanut butter for that matter.

The Red Arrow · **Posted:** Mon Jan 30, 2012 5:15 pm

Fozzy wrote:

shyamz wrote:

I bet the more ardent royalists can't bear the thought of that royal Disney story couple having real sex like common folk.

I'm sure they'd like to believe they kiss in a rose covered gazeebo in the grounds of one of the palaces and then have the sprog dropped through the chimney nine months later by a stork.

You're probably right, but the tabloids could never go along with it. That would deprive them of 9 months of articles about the baby bump, is Kate too posh to push, which hospital gets the honour of the royal accouchement, discussion of royal maternity wear, exclusive piccies of the room where The Event will happen, lots of gushing stuff about how brave HRH is; followed by a year of disapproval of her getting her figure back too quickly/not quickly enough.

I'd love it they felt compelled to announce the child was conceived during a state arms-selling visit to Saudi Arabia or India and that's why they chose Mohamed or Karuna. I can see the plumes of tea spurting from mailtard lips now...

Andy McDandy · **Posted:** Mon Jan 30, 2012 7:28 pm

For some bizarre reason, I picture a maid bringing William off (a bit like at the beginning of Coming to America, but she looks like Pauline Collins), shouting out "Huzzah! The royal nads are drained!" before bearing the Beaker of State and the Imperial Basting Syringe through to the next room, where Kate's ready for installation.

I think about this far far too much.

The Red Arrow · **Posted:** Mon Jan 30, 2012 7:33 pm

I will too, now.

Abernathy · **Posted:** Mon Jan 30, 2012 7:37 pm

There will of course be a Royal household position of Bearer of the Royal Turkey Baster Poursuivant, whose sole job it is to take the Baster & Beaker to the Chamber of the Consort.

shyamz · **Posted:** Mon Jan 30, 2012 9:11 pm

Don't they have a laboratory in the palace to seperate all the Y sperm from the X's?

Bones McCoy · **Joined:** Mon Aug 16, 2010 9:08 am **Posts:** 7342

shyamz wrote:

Don't they have a laboratory in the palace to seperate all the Y sperm from the X's?

And a relatively new chap whose task is to zap out all the ginger ones.

davidjay · **Joined:** Tue Feb 17, 2009 8:24 pm **Posts:** 3837

Bones McCoy wrote:

shyamz wrote:

Don't they have a laboratory in the palace to seperate all the Y sperm from the X's?

And a relatively new chap whose task is to zap out all the ginger ones.

Who had the night off 28 years ago.

Son Of Hand · **Posted:** Mon Jan 30, 2012 11:57 pm

davidjay wrote:

Who had the night off 28 years ago.

Charles, if you believe the rumours.

Fozzy · **Posted:** Thu Apr 26, 2012 10:27 pm

It's coming up to the first anniversary, must be time to step this up:

Quote:
Feeling broody, Kate and Wills? Duke and Duchess of Cambridge play doting parents as they coo over baby at event for South Pole trek soldiers

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... z1tBTOuawj

Bones McCoy · **Joined:** Mon Aug 16, 2010 9:08 am **Posts:** 7342

Well I call it irresponsible, taking a baby to the South Pole.

Fozzy wrote:

It's coming up to the first anniversary, must be time to step this up:

Quote:
Feeling broody, Kate and Wills? Duke and Duchess of Cambridge play doting parents as they coo over baby at event for South Pole trek soldiers

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... z1tBTOuawj

Abernathy · **Posted:** Fri Apr 27, 2012 12:49 am

Must be nice to be so fucking humungously rich you can knock out a sprog whenever you feel like it.

Timbo · **Posted:** Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:18 am

Abernathy wrote:

Must be nice to be so fucking humungously rich you can knock out a sprog whenever you feel like it.

I think we should charge inheritance tax every time the supreme freehold to Australia, Canada and the UK passes down a generation. Just a thought.

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