The Daily Mash

bairy · **Joined:** Tue May 08, 2007 1:40 pm **Posts:** 2807

The Daily Mash is a satire site for UK news.

Not much to add to that really, it's funny.

Esqui · **Posted:** Mon Jul 02, 2007 8:45 pm

I like the look of that....

Daul Pacre · **Joined:** Tue Nov 28, 2006 8:12 pm **Posts:** 651

Very Day Today-ish. I like it.

famaf · **Posted:** Tue Jul 03, 2007 12:42 pm

cracking that bairy....

Quote:

PRIME Minister Gordon Brown has dismissed the latest London bomb scare as "feeble" and "unlikely to frighten the public".

Brown compared MI5 to the cast of 'Police Academy'Mr Brown is understood to be disappointed with MI5's effort, describing it as "half-arsed and transparent".

A source close to Brown said: "The PM wanted to start things off by scaring the absolute, holy shit out of people.

"A badly driven Merc with a couple of gas bottles in the back does not cut the mustard.

"We asked for Arabic literature on the passenger seat, a map of Whitehall with big red crosses on it and a huge controlled explosion on live television. Someone will be getting their backside felt for this."

The source added: "We're trying to introduce ID cards, imprisonment without trial and swingeing restrictions on freedom of speech.

"We wouldn't be able to force through new parking regulations on the back of this pile of arse."

Police say they are looking for "a man" in connection with the incident in London's Haymarket.

A Metropolitan Police spokesman said: "Our investigations are currently centred on a man. If you see a man you should react with complete terror and run screaming into the nearest busy shop or pub."

bairy · **Joined:** Tue May 08, 2007 1:40 pm **Posts:** 2807

I wouldn't know where to start quoting.

I think we should adopt this though:

Quote:

THE DAILY MASH GUIDE TO UK THREAT LEVELS

'MANGO'
All is well. Unlock your doors and lend your car to a neighbour. Sing.

'HEDGEHOG'
Unsettling. What was that noise? Where were you born? Share my values at once young man.

'SPACEHOPPER'
Terribly frightening. Death has your business card. Trust no-one and carry a bucket at all times.

'UNDERPANTS'
Incredibly dangerous. You and everyone you know is now a terrorist. Go home and watch Grey's Anatomy.

'PHILIP SCHOFIELD'
Oh Christ. The shit's hit the fan. Your car is on fire. And so are your trousers.

Esqui · **Posted:** Tue Jul 03, 2007 9:08 pm

I'd go along with that

bairy · **Joined:** Tue May 08, 2007 1:40 pm **Posts:** 2807

Is it just me or is the Mash particularly mail-esque today:

and in their news briefly:

Quote:

DIGITAL BOOM ALLOWS
THOUSANDS OF BRITONS
TO SHARE WORTHLESS,
ILL-INFORMED OPINIONS
"I think all cars should be confiscated and turned into swing parks," blogs unbearable shitwit

Beast of Bolsover · **Posted:** Sun Aug 26, 2007 1:31 am

Thanks for this site , new one to me and rather good.

bairy · **Joined:** Tue May 08, 2007 1:40 pm **Posts:** 2807

I sense the mash is a tad upset today:

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/envi ... 070912397/

Killer Whale · **Posted:** Thu Sep 13, 2007 8:23 am

Yeah, that's funny. But look at the photo: The car park is almost empty. I can appreciate being pissed off if you can't find a space and some people are taking up two, but most of the time what people are objecting to is having to walk an extra twenty yards or so from a space that's just a little further from the shop entrance. The lazy, petty-minded twats.

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