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Brigate di Transizione

Which one of you is Venus and which one is Serena? One can never remember, you lot all look the same to me

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Soppy anti-British, pro-crime, anti-education, pro-immigration, anti-family nonentity

Miss Bahamas does actually look like she's gaggin' for it. To use the technical term.

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I'm a nasty, violent lefty. You cunt.

According to the Mail, she is actually gagging for a bit of royal cock.

But Prince Andrew isn't there?

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Changin' avatars like there's no tomorrow

He's a royal cock, not a bit of one.

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"Even when you're a super-computer with an IQ of 2000 it's brown trousers time."

Reclaiming "methinks" for the nation

Latest blog post - 2011 - a review (updated 07/10)

Oh, of course!

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Changin' avatars like there's no tomorrow

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I'm a nasty, violent lefty. You cunt.

"Damn, I thought I'd hidden that body too well"

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"Even when you're a super-computer with an IQ of 2000 it's brown trousers time."

Reclaiming "methinks" for the nation

Latest blog post - 2011 - a review (updated 07/10)

"Ah, so this is a poor person!"

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Changin' avatars like there's no tomorrow

We might be related, one's ancestors had a slave plantation on the island. Droit du seigneur and all that, don't'cha know.

Can't wait for the Express cartoon.
Just after the one where Harry cures cancer.

I'd love it if one of the Royals were to have an inter-race relationship, as I would be able to witness the Mail and Express implode under the sheer weight of their own outrage.

Didnt really seem to do Diana that much harm. Or perhaps Egyptians dont count?

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Hurrah For The Blackshirts

He'll see by his grave
On the stone that remains
Carved next to his name
His epitaph plain:
Only a pawn in their game.

Almost right up until the point she died, Di was being mocked fairly mercilessly in the media. A US supermarket tabloid (I forget which one) got into a bit of trouble releasing an edition with the strapline "Di's Crazy Antics with the Arab Playboy!" and the hurriedly changing it to "A tribute to an icon of our times..." as soon as she had died.

I remember a local news report about a week before she copped it, in which a fortune teller revealed she had been visited by the people's princess to be. The tone of the report was very much "Honestly! Whatever next, eh?". All of that changed the moment she hit the pillar. Aside from editors swearing that they would never again use a pap photographer, there were plenty of columnists (Lynda Lee-Potter for one) hurriedly falling over themselves to apologise for anything bad they had said about her ever.

Then the rewriting of history - the Ministry of Truth via Mills and Boon - began. She was never a ridiculous self-obsessed sloane with a brain the size of a walnut gorging herself on a bit of halal meat - instead she was a tragic misunderstood angel deeply in love with her dashing Valentinoesque sheikh who was going to whisk her away on the back of a camel fro everything and so on and so forth.

It's also worth noting that all of this happened before 9/11, when Muslims were not the enemy within, as decreed by the media. In fact, as I recall, it was a fiendish alliance of new age travellers, Serbian doorstep hitmen and Marylin Manson back then.

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Ten seconds... the pain begins.

Fifteen seconds... you can't breathe.

Twenty seconds... you give up and turn off the Jeremy Vine show.