I've snorted lines of pepper and chilli powder for money as a teenager. Wouldn't do it again.

Frankly, all my life I've avoided snorting anything. It's a policy that has stood me in good stead.

Snap

Tried snorting vodka once, at the time I had a rather long fringe that fell into and got soaked with the vodka. When that happens its not a good idea to immediately try and light a cigarette from the gas fire!

Vicks Vapour Rub and the occasional whiteboard marker pen are the only two others I can think of.

Actually, I do snort water when I have a stuffy head. Works wonders for dry sinuses if you can overcome the gag reflex.

I once loaned a chap a lighter in a bar (this was many years ago!). My friend had been fannying about with the widget that sets the flame height, unbeknownst to me. A wall of flame shot up this guys face and he stepped back in shock, drew on his cigarette and said something like, "Wow! That's some lighter you've got there!" before ambling off.

We didn't have heart to tell him he had shiny pink patches where his eyebrows had once been, or that his fringe was entirely gone and he was now in possession of a very, very high forehead. Also curious was how he didn't seem to notice the stench of burnt hair but perhaps a jet of fire up your nose deadens the sense of smell.

I once loaned a chap a lighter in a bar (this was many years ago!). My friend had been fannying about with the widget that sets the flame height, unbeknownst to me. A wall of flame shot up this guys face and he stepped back in shock, drew on his cigarette and said something like, "Wow! That's some lighter you've got there!" before ambling off.

We didn't have heart to tell him he had shiny pink patches where his eyebrows had once been, or that his fringe was entirely gone and he was now in possession of a very, very high forehead. Also curious was how he didn't seem to notice the stench of burnt hair but perhaps a jet of fire up your nose deadens the sense of smell.

Fears that NHS reforms, tuition fees and state incursions into civil liberties have damaged Nick Clegg's hopes at the next general election are fuelled today by figures showing that the Liberal Democrats are not fielding candidates in key town hall battles on polling day next month.

Analysis of nominations for the local elections on 3 May seen by The Independent on Sunday shows that 1,198 fewer candidates are standing for the Lib Dems than for Labour in England, Wales and Scotland.

The figures suggest that the Lib Dems' activist base has been severely curtailed as a result of its coalition with the Conservatives, with fewer candidates ready to wear a yellow rosette and defend the Government's policies on the doorstep than in recent memory.

In four of the key metropolitan council elections on 3 May, the Lib Dems do not have a "full slate", while in five other town hall battles in England they are fielding no candidates at all. Lib Dem candidates are "missing" in wards in a further 49 councils in England.

EXCL: The Lib Dems will be all but wiped out in 2015 election with just 7 MPs surviving on current popularity level, YouGov poll reveals.

From The Sun Politics:

The most high-profile casualty will be party leader and Deputy Prime Minister Nick Clegg.

Other top guns getting the boot include Business Secretary Vince Cable, ex-Energy Secretary Chris Huhne and Treasury Chief Secretary Danny Alexander.