"...so the judge said that, what with all the unreliable evidence and everything, she didn't have a leg to stand on."

Sorry

THIS WEEK'S CAPTION CONTEST



Last week's winner was antigherkin. Enjoy the warm glow.

Duplicate

"Number 10 with extra prawn crackers please"

Gordon Brown shows off talent when Olympic flame extinguished

'Elf n safety gone mad! Gordo extinguishes Olympic flame with his head - because it's TOO DANGEROUS to pass through the streets!

Gordon Brown's superhero past revealed in this exclusive picture.

or

Now we all know the special ingredient in 'Olympic' special fried rice.

or

Phew! What a scorcher!

Am I allowed to enter 3 times?

Gordon the Clown* entertains




* (c) Daily Mail readers' comments

"Great; now all I need is the pitchfork and it's round to Michael Howard's house."

Ah, those vampire jokes never get old.

Oh dear, it's been a month now. May I be so bold as to pick up the judging baton? Or should be hold an enquiry or review of some sort, or perhaps form a committee?

I think we can sort this out through good, old-fashioned common sense. It was the Polish Muslims wot done it. Yet another Mailwatch tradition undermined by non-indigenous forces.

Don't look at me.

Maybe we could turn it into a "You win, you post the next one" sort of thing.

Let's give it a try. Anyone want to try better than the Self-Captioning Man?

"I...I...I...I...it's very simple, you see, every time I need to remember who I am, I just get the piece of paper out, unfold it, and there...oh it's blank...oh no, here we are, on the other side, my name clearly printed. Didn't think of it myself, of course..."

Very obvious and too long. Sorry.

Boris Johnson unveils Evening Standard sponsered Ballot Paper