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PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 1:22 pm 
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sven945 wrote:
Whilst it's been known for years that an asprin a day can help with lots of things, I swear they've had a front page headline saying that exact thing at least once before.


My thoughts exactly. I'd go further and say they do it on an approximately six month basis.

Every other paper goes with the Olympics. The Express goes with a well-known but not especially interesting fact.


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 25, 2008 7:48 pm 
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My favourite Express aspirin-related headline remains "ASPIRIN CUTS RISK OF DYING BY 25%".


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PostPosted: Tue Aug 26, 2008 12:13 am 
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tc-obo wrote:
My favourite Express aspirin-related headline remains "ASPIRIN CUTS RISK OF DYING BY 25%".

This is where my previous incarnation as custodian of Bullshit Bingo (v 1.0) comes in useful - that actually happened on 27/03/07. :idea:

Another health-related headline for Tuesday, "CANCER RISK IN YOUR FRY-UP".


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 8:42 pm 
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What if you put aspirin in the sunflower oil?

What if the eggs are organic?

What if Jesus had a jet pack and could fly off the cross?

I think the last one was from my last sunday school lesson :oops:


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PostPosted: Wed Aug 27, 2008 9:51 pm 
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that sounds like my kind of sunday school :D


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PostPosted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 9:02 pm 
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(actually Terry Wogan)
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I could have got you in but unfortunately I'm no longer a member for asking impertinent questions. That, and the great ouija board disaster of '74.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2008 9:11 am 
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Well, it's a fucking belter today : only a CURE FOR CANCER.

Image

Oh, hang on a minute, though. Turns out there isn't actually any cure for cancer yet. Right. Bastards.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2008 10:41 am 
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Dame Helen's "shock" confession. :roll:

Yeah, I'm really shocked here.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2008 11:21 am 
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Haha that shock confession has brightened my day, unlike politicians celebrity stars enjoy drugs shock.


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2008 12:30 pm 
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It could easily have read "Dame Helen : I love cock." :shock:


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2008 5:18 pm 
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mattomac wrote:
Haha that shock confession has brightened my day, unlike politicians celebrity stars enjoy drugs shock.


Reminds of when Stephen Fry was asked if he had a cocaine problem, he replied something along of the lines of 'No, I enjoyed using it a lot, it wasn't a problem for me'/


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2008 7:45 pm 
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Someone who's been in the arts for forty years has taken drugs? :shock:


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PostPosted: Mon Sep 01, 2008 8:04 pm 
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The Metro's headline on this story was a bit of a shocker: "The Queen: I love cocaine" or something like that. Just because Helen Mirren played the Queen once...

And the cancer story's being reported everywhere today so there's probably more to it than most Express cancer stories, but as usual it's not proven yet and any definitive results are years away.


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PostPosted: Wed Sep 03, 2008 7:41 pm 
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Anyone see today's headline? "NOW WE'VE GOT DENTISTS IN TENTS"


Quote:
Dentists from Hungary are to begin touring the country setting up surgeries in inflatable tents.

They will be offering their services at a third of the cost of treatment available to patients


I thought his would be good news


Quote:
To heap added ridicule on the failing National Health Service, the tents will be equipped with state-of-the-art X-ray equipment not available in this country
.

I had my teeth X-rayed with the NHS :roll: and of course private dentists are going to have better facilities - that's why they're private. And how can you complain about the NHS with its free service not having state-of-the-art X-ray equipment?



Quote:
In a move that will severely embarrass the Government, the Hungarian travelling circus will offer an initial consultation and information on the cost of treatment in eastern Europe.


The what??? Is that because it's Hungarian?


Quote:
Patients will be able to choose from a range of procedures including implants, dentures, crowns, bridges, veneers, fillings and tooth whitening.


Yeah, most dentists do, lol


Quote:
Matthew Elliott, of the TaxPayers’ Alliance, said: “It says a lot about the state of British dentistry that Hungarians are coming to the UK to provide a better and cheaper service. The Government should hang their heads in shame.”


The private dentists in the UK should hang their heads in shame. The (evil by the sounds of it) Hungarians are providing a cheaper service. UK people are not forced to use them. I went for a checkup in at a private dentist a few years back. He ripped me off and lied to me about what needed doing. I got a 2nd opinion with an NHS one. Long story.


Quote:
The Department of Health’s chief dental officer Barry Cockcroft said: “We are investing an extra £200million in NHS dentistry this year.

“This investment is already showing results. New NHS dental practices are opening all the time to provide more NHS services around the country.

“Our latest figures show that we now have 655 more NHS dentists this year compared with last. Critics who claimed there would be a mass exodus of NHS dentists under the new contract are being proved wrong.




comments


Quote:
GNASHER!
03.09.08, 7:04pm

We truly are becoming a second rate country. When will the people of tihs country wake up. The French two centuries got rid of the merde that was destroying their country.......follow suit

• Posted by: wiggins • Report Comment


You believe we are becoming a second rate country because you believe what the Express prints.




Quote:
DENTISTS IN TENTS
03.09.08, 6:30pm

Nu Labor, Nu Ways, chamge for change sake.

They have made a mess of this Country and everything they have touched.

• Posted by: Happybrian123 • Report Comment


How original.



Quote:
PULL THE OTHER ONE!
03.09.08, 5:02pm

I think it's fantastic that failed Third World states like those which make up the UK, can benefit from progressive, richer European neighbours such as Hungary.

Perhaps if the billions of pounds the EU receives each year from Britain could be spent here, then we might be able to provide our own state-of-the-art tents and dentists.

• Posted by: Adanac • Report Comment



No mate, the private dentists here need to pull down their prices (hopefully they will). Nothing to do with the government.



Quote:
WE ARE WORSE THAN THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES...
03.09.08, 2:49pm

... you can see the state of the publics teeth in Britain, just look at the audience in TV Shows.

• Posted by: Disgruntled • Report Comment



WTF?? Who is this fucking lunatic?


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PostPosted: Thu Sep 04, 2008 9:11 am 
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Private Eye do a parody of comments by the "online" community.

Most of them could be written by Express readers.


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