...to the library I work in wanting know who represents Muslims, what their party is, how many there are etc. I explain that Islam is a religion, with no political party representing them in parliament when he cut to the chase. Do I know that they want to take over the world and run it from Buckingham Palace - he read it in the Daily Express last year.

I'm not making any of this up.

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MY COMMENTS ARE FROM THE HORSES MOUTH AND ARE ALL FACTS

How did you reply? Did you point out that as a public servant and therefore fully paid-up member of the PC Brigade you'd be obliged to pass his details on to McBroon's Stalinist Gestapo, sorry, police?

Should have explained his all his phone calls and emails are being monitored by the "Big brother" council

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Join the Mailwatch Daily Express "Political cartoonist of the year" Paul Thomas Facebook group

Couldn't be bothered. I said 'tea break' and put the phone down. That's how we work in our public service non-jobs. That's his council tax paying for that.

I gave an address to write regarding population but as I couldn't give him a phone number for the Muslim Party he said he'd see his MP and put the phone down.

To be fair I think I recognise him and he does have mental health issues I reckon, but it does show how the filth the DE and DM is taken on board by some.

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MY COMMENTS ARE FROM THE HORSES MOUTH AND ARE ALL FACTS

Why would he want the number of the Muslim party anyway, were such a thing to exist? I can imagine him leaving expletive-ridden messages on an answer machine.

Actually, there's a thought, rig a phone line up to an answer machine and then spread the number of the Muslim party, see what happens. Would kill an hour I guess.

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"Even when you're a super-computer with an IQ of 2000 it's brown trousers time."

Reclaiming "methinks" for the nation

Latest blog post - 2011 - a review (updated 07/10)

Who called you?

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I'm a nasty, violent lefty. You cunt.

My goodness, can you IMAGINE if the Muslim Party came to power in Britain? They'd drag women out of the workplace and back to the kitchen, brutalize criminals, bring back corporal punishment, force women to dress conservatively etc.

I can see why all those Express and Mail readers (who so frequently profess their love for our liberal, progressive society and it's methods) would be so terrified of such a prospect. It's almost as if really it's just because they're forrin, innit?

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Soppy anti-British, pro-crime, anti-education, pro-immigration, anti-family nonentity

Should've told him that MP stands for Muslim Party.

Or UKIP = "United Kingdom Islamic Party".

There is an Islamic Party of Britain which its policies are based on the Islamic faith, like a ban in usury etc.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhh, yes, but you see, DM/DE readers hate bankers, independent women, promiscuity, drunkenness, etc for all the right reasons. Namely that it 'lowers the tone' or simple envy.

Muslims hate those things because they have silly beards and daft names and dress funny and .... yeah, it's because they're brown and that.

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Ten seconds... the pain begins.

Fifteen seconds... you can't breathe.

Twenty seconds... you give up and turn off the Jeremy Vine show.

Life is just too complicated for many Mail and Express readers, isn't it?
Seriously - that's one of their biggest problems.

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Where there is great doubt, there will be great awakening; small doubt, small awakening, no doubt, no awakening.

Three questions:

1) Do you work in Birmingham?
2) Did the CALLER randomly SHOUT out some of the WORDS he was SAYING to add EMPHASIS, but seemingly AT RANDOM, then say SOMETHING sort OF sarcastic that DIDN'T make a LOT of SENSE?
3) Do you have anyone with a library card under the name Smith, J.?

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Where there is great doubt, there will be great awakening; small doubt, small awakening, no doubt, no awakening.