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Esqui
 Post subject: Daily Mail Cancer Files
PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 11:08 am 
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Posts: 3861
Location: Bournemouth
The one-stop guide to how to get and cure/prevent cancer. Post all findings here.

These things cause cancer:
Being tall at 14
Being fat
Cooking oil
IVF
Alarm clocks
Fizzy drinks
Being poor
Post-menopausal weight gain
Bread, crisps, chips, biscuits and breakfast cereals
Baby food
Chips (again)
White Bread
Water
Driving
Being British
Hugging dusty men
Rice
HRT
Living near power lines
Oral Sex

These things cure/prevent cancer:
Cloudy Apple Juice
Tea
Spicy food
The common cold
A Mediterranean diet (oh, and food in general)
Broccoli, Cauliflower and Cabbage
E-coli
Apples
Peanuts
Soya
Your blood cells
Removing your breasts
Tree bark
GM virus
Evening primrose oil
Red wine
Breast milk
White Bread
A fibre rich diet
Watercress
Coffee
Chocolate
Robotic Beetles
Strawberry Daiquiris
Aspirin
Dirt

And look what advert came up on the Mail's site:
http://faithmeds.com/cholestycare.html?utm_campaign=Cholestycare&utm_medium=ppc&utm_source=google_c&utm_content=604547138&utm_term=cholesterol%20diet
:D

More to come...


Last edited by Esqui on Tue Jan 22, 2008 9:49 am, edited 16 times in total.

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Run
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:20 pm 
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Posts: 397
Location: Exeter
Hahahahaha this is an excellent idea. I can't wait to see things occur in both categories - because you know they will. Image
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Esqui
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 2:20 pm 
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Of course... :D
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Nick h
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 2:24 pm 
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Joined: Sun Oct 29, 2006 12:08 pm
Posts: 1103
Location: Luton
Cause:-

Sleeping

Cure:-

Alarm clocks
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Steph
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 2:41 pm 
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Joined: Fri Mar 31, 2006 3:23 pm
Posts: 522
Location: Manchester
Cause

The Sun


Cure

The Sun


(that is the big firey ball in the sky, not the Murdoch paper)
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horacegoesskiing
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Jan 15, 2007 11:04 pm 
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Posts: 975
Location: Stornoway
Cause:

White Bread

Cure:

White Bread
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hel
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 11:56 am 
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in a handcart
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Location: Sussex by the sea
removing your breasts cures/prevents cancer... thats a bit of an extreme measure isnt it? :shock:
also if you remove them then how are you going to give your baby breast milk which also cures/prevents cancer?
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Esqui
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 12:18 pm 
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Location: Bournemouth
Alas, the breast milk story isn't about giving breast milk to babies. Or even children. :shock:
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horacegoesskiing
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 1:50 am 
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Posts: 975
Location: Stornoway
If we all removed our heads, that would be a damn near 100% way to cure/ prevent cancer. Now why can't the DM advise its readers of this revelation?
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horacegoesskiing
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 11:54 pm 
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Location: Stornoway
Good: Fibre rich diet
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Moggie
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 12:24 am 
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Posts: 763
Location: London, you yokel
horacegoesskiing wrote:
Good: Fibre rich diet


As usual, an article about breast cancer needs to be illustrated by a pair of breasts, in case readers don't know what they look like. :roll:
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Esqui
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 10:17 am 
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It's just wank fodder for the lonely old men who spend all day on the Mail's website
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summergal
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed Jan 24, 2007 12:37 pm 
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Posts: 108
Location: Far too many Tories in Barnet
horacegoesskiing wrote:
If we all removed our heads, that would be a damn near 100% way to cure/ prevent cancer. Now why can't the DM advise its readers of this revelation?


I think DM readers have all done that, already. Well, their brains anyway!

:roll:
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Paul
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 9:08 am 
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Posts: 3472
Location: Bedlam
Chlorine in the bathwater is linked to cancer

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/a ... ge_id=1770


Image


So go dirty!
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jonboy
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 27, 2007 3:15 pm 
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Joined: Fri Dec 15, 2006 3:25 pm
Posts: 400
Location: DailyMail land
Reading the Daily Mail causes cancer. Social cancer.
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