Discussion of MailOnline's big traffic driver - celebrity stories
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By Malcolm Armsteen
Membership Days Posts
#195977
Ah! Now it makes sense...
 
By oboogie
Membership Days Posts
#196024
Malcolm Armsteen wrote:WTF are 'cigarette pants' when they're at home?

Narrow cut 'hipsters' Malcom. They very popular with the young people when they frequent discothèques and dance to the latest 'beat' discs from the 'hit parade', or so I am informed.

PS What are Beatles?
By JuanTwoThree
Membership Days Posts
#196028
A Quartet of Youths who have the Appearance of Unwashed Loutish Ruffians and who play a perversion of what civilised people call Music, with outlandish instruments that operate by means of an Electrical Flux. Their Caterwauls and frenetic Drummings are of a type more suitable to Narcotic-Induced Voodoo Ceremonies. They hail, I believe, from a Northern provincial City of such Awfulness that its very Mention would sully the Lips of any Lady or Gentleman. I am led to believe they are in Trade, and sell to the Gullible and Unwary a Great Many Items called Long Players, but what these are I have been unable to ascertain notwithstanding my unwilling Conversations with Persons of other Stations and Ranks.
 
By Malcolm Armsteen
Membership Days Posts
#196043
Image
 
By Timbo
Membership Days Posts
#196047
Ooh I like that. The word 'five' is done in the same font as 'Berlin Time'
 
By The Red Arrow
Membership Days Posts
#196053
That's a proper fiver, that is. From before Stalin McBroon forced us to go decimal in preperation for annexation by the EUSSR.
By JuanTwoThree
Membership Days Posts
#196062
Why with that fiver I could have gone out for a dozen pints and a packet of 20 Weights and still have change for a fish supper, even tail-end haddock with extra scraps, and still have change for a weekend return to Paris and the company of a high-class courtesan and still have change for the expensive and painful cure for the syphilis I would have caught. And still have change.
 
By oboogie
Membership Days Posts
#196081
.............to buy a pre-fab in Tooting Bec.
 
By Malcolm Armsteen
Membership Days Posts
#196085
My grandad gave me one of those in 1953 when I picked out a good winner on the horses for him.

With a pin...
By davidjay
Membership Days Posts
#196091
JuanTwoThree wrote:A Quartet of Youths who have the Appearance of Unwashed Loutish Ruffians and who play a perversion of what civilised people call Music, with outlandish instruments that operate by means of an Electrical Flux. Their Caterwauls and frenetic Drummings are of a type more suitable to Narcotic-Induced Voodoo Ceremonies. They hail, I believe, from a Northern provincial City of such Awfulness that its very Mention would sully the Lips of any Lady or Gentleman. I am led to believe they are in Trade, and sell to the Gullible and Unwary a Great Many Items called Long Players, but what these are I have been unable to ascertain notwithstanding my unwilling Conversations with Persons of other Stations and Ranks.


Thank you. Now, what is Napalm Death?
 
By oboogie
Membership Days Posts
#196094
Malcolm Armsteen wrote:My grandad gave me one of those in 1953 when I picked out a good winner on the horses for him.

With a pin...

What a pre-fab?
Bit of a toff your grandad?
Lawks-a-mercy.
 
By Malcolm Armsteen
Membership Days Posts
#196095
Nah. No prefabs, just fivers. Proper communist, gave over 10% of his wages to the Daily Worker, made poteen in the copper when my grandma wasn't looking. Hamper from Russia every Christmas, annual trips to the Red Army Choir or Moscow State Circus...

Tried to get my parents' wedding cancelled by getting the vicar pissed.
 
By Andy McDandy
Membership Days Posts
#196123
davidjay wrote:
Thank you. Now, what is Napalm Death?


A popular beat combo, m'lud. Hailing from Brummagem (a town of Warwickshire noted for its many workshops producing chains, nails and other small metal works), and often sighted on the 'circuit' of en plein air concertos to mark the summer season. I am led to believe that their appearance upon the bandstand is traditionally marked by an effervescent fusillade of Aqua Vitae, not yet decanted, along with coinage of the realm.
 
By ezinra
Membership Days Posts
#198664
The Mail's obsession with Toddlers and tiaras is creepy. Two articles already this week; nearly twenty since the beginning of 2011:

Today: The catwalk tweens: Six-year-old Toddlers & Tiaras pageant girl Eden Wood designs and models in New York fashion week show

9 Feb: Toddlers and Tiaras mother defends controversial decision to give six-year-old beauty queen 'pageant crack' and 'Go-Go Juice'

My comments questioning the Mail's intentions in publishing photos of a three year old girl "dressed like a hooker" and sentences like "The [six-year-old] girls, their faces painted with gaudy showgirl make up, strutted their stuff in frothy creations, their little feet clad in colourful boots" are not getting through. Today's article has fourteen photos. Surely one is enough (too many?) to provoke the "ooh isn't this awful" reaction the Mail wants? The other problem is context: I've never seen the programme but I guess most of the 'attraction' is in how awful the parents are. The Mail's stories show only the kids.
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