Discussion of the UK Government
By Arnold
Membership Days Posts
Malcolm Armsteen wrote:That's what we've been saying...
Didn't we say "thick as pig shit?

Thick as mince and lazy as a toad!' Architect of Vote Leave launches a brutal assault on 'vain' Brexit Secretary David Davis as civil war over how to deliver the referendum gets WORSE

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By Malcolm Armsteen
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TAPS. I believe so. But other coarse insults are available.

"Seen more brains on a butcher's apron".
"I've seen cleverer things in a salad".
"If you pushed a pencil in his ear it would come out the other side dry".
By Abernathy
Membership Days Posts
See also: "Brains of a pedal bin", "Brains of a rocking horse", "Thick as shite in the neck of a bottle" (bit specific, that one - Scottish.)
By Malcolm Armsteen
Membership Days Posts
"Thick as a navvy's sandwich"
"As dim as a 10 watt bulb"
"Dumber than a box of hair"
By Zuriblue
Thick as two short planks.

If brains were dynamite he couldn't blow his hat off.
By Andy McDandy
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"If wit were shit, he'd be constipated ". Old Black Country saying.

"Worra gimmer" - old Leicestershire saying.
By Malcolm Armsteen
Membership Days Posts
So what would have been on his school reports if they were honest?

"This year Davis has worked entirely to his own satisfaction."
"Far from seeing the light of enthusiasm it is difficult to detect the flicker of life"
"The improvement in David's handwriting has unfortunately revealed his inability to spell."
"Foreign languages are a foreign language to him."
"He has an overdeveloped unawareness."
"If Davis were any less intelligent we would have to water him."
"David sets low personal standards, but usually fails to meet them."
"Since David's results reached rock bottom he has continued to dig."

and so on.

The best, most laconic comment I saw on a file was 'SWT'.

Severe Wimpish Tendencies...
By Daley Mayle
Membership Days Posts
Extract from Maidstone Technical High School for boys' school report, 1968

Mayle, D.

Headmaster's summary comment: 'This is appalling! Is there something going on in this boy's home life of which the school should be aware?
Never forgot that one. He was correct in his assessment of my progress but it still rankles to this day that he upset my parents. Git.
By mr angry manchester
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I got "Careless, inaccurate and rather vague" on one of my school reports once.
By Safe_Timber_Man
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My dad got:

"I think the only reason Andrew doesn't sleep through lessons is because he can't be bothered to."

School reports appeared to be far more brutal back in those days!
By Silkyman
Membership Days Posts
Hey you. You're such a pedant. You've got the same brains as a dead ant. As much imagination as a caravan site.....

Stop here when it comes to Davis.
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