I just love Simon Hoggart:
Growing enigma of Mickey's wig
http://www.guardian.co.uk/politics/2003 ... s.politics
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In the press gallery one of my colleagues sat gazing at the sight, murmuring "gorgeous, quite gorgeous," to himself, for these were locks that would not have disgraced Michael Heseltine or even the original Tarzan, Johnny Weissmuller.
How many My Little Ponies, we asked, were slaughtered to make such a creation?
There were three principle theories, and argument will persist until Hans Blix is sent in.
First, it is his winter wig and he picked it up by accident when he dressed yesterday morning. But this is not likely, since even in cold weather the wig is never quite this length.
Possibly the regular wig had met with a terrible accident. It could have melted and fused in the unseasonably warm weather we had in April. Or a bird of prey might have seized it for nesting: you could raise a family of kestrels in there.
Or - and this is my belief - the wig is actually growing. Just as Pinocchio was carved out of wood and became a living boy, the wig has embedded itself in the Fabricant skull and - thanks to some terrible genetic mutation - it has started to draw nourishment from his scalp.