[Malcolm Armsteen]

The A&E department have heard almost every bollocks / hoover excuse.
They won't be phased.

I reiterate, the hornet story and the hoover story are not related in any way. Why would I try to unblock a hoover with my nads?

[oboogie]

Why would I try to unblock a hoover with my nads?

Boredom?

[Malcolm Armsteen]

Didn't do 'em any good.

[The Red Arrow]

Got me a hard hearted hoover, she done treat my love spuds bad
Said hard hearted hoover, she done treat my love spuds bad
Took me a trip to the infirmary
Best laugh that nurse she ever had

She said tell me how it happened, how your nuts got jammed so tight
Jus' tell me how it happened, Lordy, them poor boys are jammed so tight
She fetched vaseline and butter
Gonna be a long ol' night

I'm beggin' of you buddy, don't you do the things I done
The pain it ain't worth it, don't you do the things I done
That hard hearted hoover
Done give me too much blues for one

[Malcolm Armsteen]

I'm already playing it...

[oboogie]

Shame the wasps got written out of the story, but I can't think of a rhyme for them either.

[The Red Arrow]

Hmmmmmm. I could work in something about doing it outside mosques.

[oboogie]

Oh that's good. Was it a Mosque hoover you cleaned out with your gonads, Malcolm?

[The Red Arrow]

O.k - couldn't get mosques to scan. For the sake of maintaining a narrative, an optional third verse.

I told her 'bout the wasps blocking up my vacuum cleaner
Them mean ol' wasps blocking up my vacuum cleaner
Smearin' molasses on my nadgers
Well it jus' made them critters meaner

[davidjay]

The sting is better (thank you all soooo much for your concern), the feet hurt less than they have for weeks and out in the garden this afternoon all was peaceful as I picked a bountiful crop of blackberries and some fruit from trees that haven't given up anything worth bothering with for years. Then we drove out to where the green stuff starts for a quiet hour as the sun was going down and were rewarded with the sight of a water vole. Simple pleasures.

[The Red Arrow]

Happy sunday, hound-lovers.

[Kreuzberger]

Anecdotally, and it is just that, our corner of the Heimat is now basically at peak mask.

There might be a smidgen of Culture Wards going on here, due to 22,000* bearers of small penises and no masks ambling last week through the streets. Not wearing a facemask means you're outing yourself as one of that lot. That, or people are just cottoning on to the fact that we are still in the middle of this.

It's certainly a lot less disconcerting being out on the streets.




*Did I mention that the grand total of votes harvested last time round by the AfD in our ward was two? I think they might have been hipsters trying to be ironic.

[The Red Arrow]

I'm finding most people in my part of Hometown-on-Sea (once a village, now a suburb) remove their masks as soon as they leave whatever retail outlet they've just frequented, and put them on whenever entering another. I've yet to venture into the town centre, but from what I've seen on the 24-hour webcams situated there, the beach is busy, not a mask in sight. Mercifully, open air tables at harbourside bars and eateries seem very under attended. Due a visit from an Arrowette who has put herself forward to do O.M.A's hair tomorrow, she'll have news from the front, I'm sure.

Stay safe, stay sane, my lovelies.

[davidjay]

It's too hot.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

Got an email from my neighbour in France. She informs me that this afternoon it was 40º in the shade...
And the poor woman has bad burns on her hands and legs. That must be hellish.

35º indoors here this pm. Sweaty. Hoping for thunder, hoping for rain.