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By ezinra
Membership Days Posts
I'll second that. You've taken a big step by posting on here. The next one is to talk to someone non-virtually. I would recommend the samaritans (08457 90 90 90): they get calls from people like you (and me) all the time, and the first thing they will assure you is that your situation is not unusual, not irreversible, and above all nothing to be ashamed of.

Each time you open up to someone new, each time you are honest about being ill, each time you allow yourself to appear less than infallible, you are nudging a little closer to your goal of taking pride in yourself (and having others, especially your wife, take pride in you) for the person you really are. To get there, you'll have to learn not to hide that person away or pretend to be different from him. It's not easy, but it gets done all the time. I belong to a support group for people with multiple sclerosis, and it's remarkable how many of us are in a similar position of denying our illness in social situations, in the workplace, among loved ones, and to ourselves. There is a great stigma against being ill in our culture, which is absurd, since no-one is truly healthy.

Good luck with the journey, mrleebob.
By mrleebob
Membership Days
Thank you all for your help. I realise that the first step has to be to cut out the drinking. I've actually given my wife my bank card to remove the temptation to buy alcohol. I'm being referred to a psychiatrist, waiting for details of my appointment to come in the post. Also changing my medication from citalopram which doesn't appear to be working.
By Picklechu2
Membership Days Membership Days
mrleebob wrote:Thank you. If you're wondering why I've chosen this forum to confess all this, it's because I am amongst like minded people (politically and morally) and yet can retain an anonymity that acts as a good buffer zone.
This is a really good point. When I had problems about 10 years ago, my "confession box" was a guildmate from online RPG Everquest, a lady in Switzerland of all places, who helped a great deal. Just having somewhere you can talk safely is a massive deal. I hope you get better soon.
By Fozzy
Membership Days Membership Days Posts
I hadn't thought about it before, but I guess one of the benefits of this site is that you know you can write about quite sensitive subjects with a reasonable guarantee that you won't get flamed and will probably find some support. Even the likes of Beaboyd have managed to avoid the worst excesses. So, without wishing to get too complacent and/or mawkish, thanks, guys.
By shyamz
Membership Days Membership Days Posts
mrleebob wrote:I'm sorry but I had to get this out somewhere. I've been able to post here so often recently because I'm signed off work with severe depression. On top of that, I've been using alcohol as a crutch to get me through through the worst moments, often drinking secretly in an attempt to make myself feel better. I'm not sure why I've posted this here but I had to write it somewhere.
I am no good at expressing supportive thoughts in a way that sounds sincere, either in person or online (even though I genuinely mean them - which is why I usually don't do so), but I do hope things improve for you and that you are getting the help you need. Good luck.
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