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By Malcolm Armsteen
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I'be been around for a long time, so I thought I'd go through this again. Hopefully everybody will at some stage.

Age - 61¼ (now 69) - makes me the oldest, I reckon! (Now realise Arnold is senior)Don't feel it, though. (I do now...)
Location - Surrey or Normandy, depending. Same.
Occupation - Retired teacher. Now full time layabout and part-time woodworker, babysitter. Forgot photographer, and one-time policy adviser/writer at the DfE.
Kids? - Yup, 3, all boys, 1 (2) grand daughters and 1 (2) grandsons. We all get on brilliantly, almost like a family. Still.
Papers you read - Guardian (reluctantly), Independent - both occasionally. Private Eye in son's toilet.
Online news sources - BBC, Guardian, Independent, Times, Yahoo, Local papers, Autosport
Sum up the Mail in 5 words - lying fascist scum misogynistic arse-gravy cynical twatbaskets halitosoid onanists
Political party - Labour. IT'S MY TRIBE. Not any more. My tribe pinned me out to die in the desert.
Favourite food - Stroganoff, escalope de veau a la Milanese
Favourite drink - coffee Now also investigating alcohol-free beer
Favourite book(s) - Pratchett, Lindsey Davis, Francis Pryor's histories.
Favourite band/artist - Bob Dylan
Favourite album - Highway 61 Revisited
Favourite song - Like a Rolling Stone
Favourite film - La Nuit Americaine
Footballl team - Sunderland, but prefer Motorsport. Still Sunderland...
The Mail likes me because - I live in Surrey and I'm a part-time ex-pat (though I'm not really, I know some and they are ballbags)
The Mail hates me because - I can think
By lambswool
Membership Days
As soon as I get the chance, I’ll add my details here. I’ve never got around to it before because, being a fickle individual, my favourite songs, films, sausages etc change from day to day. And the summing up the Mail in 5 words bit makes my brain hurt.
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By Safe_Timber_Man
Membership Days Posts
Age - 33 (One of the youngest, possibly?)
Location - Now West Sussex
Kids? - Not yet, although many hints are now being dropped!
Papers you read - Occasionally Mirror, and Indy but tend to steer clear of hard copy news now
Online news sources - BBC, Independent, social media, local news sites
Sum up the Mail in 5 words - Increasingly fascist far-right propaganda machine
Political party - Absolutely none. Was Labour but fuck that now. If I had a gun to my head it would have to reluctantly be Lib Dems.
Favourite food - Curry, Thai, Spanish Tapas, Good 'ol Sunday Roast. Massive full English breakfast
Favourite drink - Lager, smoothies, coffee although gives me headaches
Favourite book(s) - I let myself down with my lack of reading books. It's something I intent to improve because of that it's still Stephen Biesty's Incredible Cross-Sections!
Favourite band/artist - No real favourite. Still stuck in my younger years when it comes to music and like hip-hop, R&B. Listen to a lot of 'Akon' when driving. Still like Eminem, which I'm a bit embarrassed to admit now.
Favourite album - N/A
Favourite song - N/A
Favourite film - Gladiator, Blow, 187, Pulp Fiction, Wolf of Wall Street
Football team - Liverpool
The Mail likes me because - On paper I come from the type of background and family the Mail would approve of.
The Mail hates me because - I'm a Lefty liberal and has betrayed my background!
Last edited by Safe_Timber_Man on Thu Jul 19, 2018 12:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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By Daley Mayle
Membership Days Membership Days Posts
Age 54. Fuck, I'm the oldest in here. Shit, my daughter is older than most of youse.
(When I get older ✓ Losing my hair ✓ Many years from now... it's here Mayley, you're 64)
Location West Wales, near the wet bit. ✓
Occupation Graphic designer and, as yet, unpublished author. Retired to look after ill wife, called out of retirement by ex-client. Sill unpublished other than books on Amazon. Publishers, bastards the lot of 'em.
Kids? One plus three grandchildren. Said I was old din' I? (now four grandchildren, the eldest is 17 ffs. My daughter who is 45 has regressed to being a teenager again)
Papers you read Don't. Lying gets, the lot of 'em. ✓
Online news sources
Sum up the Mail in 5 words Cunts. The lot of 'em. ✓
Political party Labour as t'lad and now right of centre. Hell, that makes me Nu-Labour (Now despair of all of them)
Favourite food Steak and kidney pudding with a tump of chips down the local pub of a Friday night. Yep, old AND fat. ✓ (And it's twmp, ain't that right Killer?)
Favourite drink Wine. (Gin and tonic)
Favourite book(s) Stephen King's The Stand ✓
Favourite band/artist The Beatles. Sorry. ✓
Favourite album Revolver ✓
Favourite song Don't have one ✓
Favourite film Ditto (Groundhog Day)
Footballl team Man U (glory supporter only. (Gone off soccer big time)
The Mail likes me because I'm a hard working, tax paying, Dacre-fearing, middle-class white Englishman.
The Mail hates me because Although I'm a hard working, tax paying, Dacre-fearing, middle-class white Englishman I think they're a bunch of wankstains (thanks for that new cuss word guys). (Replace wankstains for 'nan-fisters')
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By bluebellnutter
Membership Days Membership Days Posts
Age - 19 (but a week from 20) (now into my 30s...fuck)

Location - University in the Midlands or at home in Sussex (Now full time in Sussex)

Occupation - Student (Now IT bloke for an insurance firm)

Kids? - No thanks, I've just eaten (Still find them a bit stringy TBH)

Papers you read - Guardian, Independent, locals (Don't read dead tree versions, but mostly Guardian these days, local paper went up the swanny years ago)

Online news sources - BBC, Sky (Went off Sky for a long time but recently it feels like it's come back a bit)

Sum up the Mail in 5 words - Disagree and the puppy dies!! (Has now indoctrinated my gran)

Political party - Labour / Lib Dem (Voted Labour up to 2015, now fully Lib Dem, thanks Jezza)

Favourite food - Curry (Chicken Dupiaza with Pilau Rice and Onion Bhaji, absolute heaven)

Favourite drink - Depends on mood (Quit alcohol after student days to save money, never really ventured back too far, there is nothing finer than ice cold Pepsi Max)

Favourite book(s) - a range of fiction writings to be honest (Now arguably more a fan of non-fiction)

Favourite band/artist - REM (Billy Joel)

Favourite album - Automatic for the People (Not really into Albums so much, prefer individual songs)

Favourite song - Everybody hurts (Wichita Lineman)

Favourite film - Monty Python's Life of Brian (Kingsman was the best film I've seen for a while)

Footballl team - Manchester United / Brighton & Hove Albion (the local support) (Brighton took over for me shortly after Uni and now only take a passing interest in the former)

The Mail likes me because - I come from the 3rd safest Tory seat in the country (Plus I'm a white guy and I think Jeremy Corbyn's a bit shit)

The Mail hates me because - I'm a sponging student (Now I'm a treacherous Remoaning Enemy Of The, imagine if I'd written that back in 2008...)
Last edited by bluebellnutter on Mon Sep 24, 2018 8:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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By Projective Unity
Membership Days
Age - 36
Location - Northants
Occupation - Agency worker - currently machine operator
Kids? - No (I don't plan to either)
Papers you read - Haven't bought a paper in donkeys years
Online news sources - Guardian for the headlines, but commentary and in-depth news from various sources
Sum up the Mail in 5 words - A joke of a paper
Political party - Labourish, though I have flirted with Lib Dems and Green.
Favourite food - Roast Pork
Favourite drink - Vodka
Favourite book(s) - I mainly read non-fiction: Programming, engineering, etc
Favourite band/artist - Depends on the mood - can vary from Rap to Metal
Favourite album - ""
Favourite song - ""
Favourite film - Depends
Footballl team - Germany
The Mail likes me because - Not quite sure if they would like me - mixed race, non-homeowner, Labour voting remainer.
The Mail hates me because - see above
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By Safe_Timber_Man
Membership Days Posts
Would be interesting to put faces to names too but I can't imagine many are keen on posting photos of themselves on a forum full of strangers! Also, I have really quite vivid images of how I imagine everyone on this forum looks and I fear it may shatter the illusion!

But here's the most recent one of me from my recent holiday, in case people wish to follow suit:

IMAG8146_1_1_1.jpg (89.56 KiB) Viewed 3989 times
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By cycloon
Membership Days Membership Days Posts
Age - 32
Location - Oxford
Kids? - Nope
Papers you read - more journals: TLS. LRB.
Online news sources - BBC, Groaniad, Times, blogs.
Sum up the Mail in 5 words - form over content.
Political party - uh.
Favourite food - Mediterranean meze
Favourite drinks - cider
Favourite book(s) - Turgenev, Bulgakov, Grossman, Orwell, Catch 22.
Favourite band/artist - impossible. I like too much.
Favourite album - probably GSYBE's Lift Yr Skinny Fists.
Favourite song - almost impossible. Detectorists by Jonny Flynn means a lot to me re: my partner, though.
Favourite film - can't tell you.
Football team - Torquay.
The Mail likes me because - white middle class polite softy.
The Mail hates me because - three degrees (to be), remainer, lefty, disappointingly unfussed about tradition.
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By Cyclist
Membership Days Posts
Real name - Guy (sum fings don't change)

Age - 45 (51)
Location - Biggleswade area & W Yorks
Occupation - unCivil Servant
Kids? - Does acting like one count?
Papers you read - Biggleswade Chronicle (Here) / Yorkshire Post (Home) (gjven up on the Chronicle, it was making the Framley Examiner look normal!)
Online news sources - All sorts (no regular one)
Sum up the Mail in 5 words - Shocking (grammar, spelling and content)
Political party - Left and Green
Favourite food - Sticky toffee pudding / lardy cakes
Favourite drink - Potton Brewery Shannon IPA (real ales in general so long as they've not been poisoned with bloody citrus hops)
Favourite book(s) - Anything by Terry Pratchett, Charles Dickens, Arthur C Clarke, Robert Heinlein - the list goes on and on. + anything on cycling, and railways (esp steam)
Favourite band(s)/artist - Jethro Tull, Queen, The Eagles(+ The Black Dyke Mills, Grimethorpe, Brighouse & Rastrick, Yorkshire Imps &c &c)
Favourite album - Desperado - The Eagles
Favourite song - Heavy Horses - Jethro Tull
Favourite film - The Train (+ High Noon,, Brassed Off, The Maltese Falcon)
Football team - Ask me one on sport (though I do have a Wakefield Trinity hat)
The Mail likes me because - I have blond hair, blue eyes and fair skin.
The Mail hates me because - I refuse to live up to their racial stereotype (race traitor, me. innit 8) )

PS While doing this I accidentally learned how to copy & paste on my phone!
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