Latest from Moaning Mike:
No. 1 - BBC Bashing (one of his favorites)
Rumours were going round this week that the BBC might be thinking of scrapping a TV channel to save money, and BBC3 or BBC4 were being suggested as possible victims. Might I as someone who rather appreciates those two digital channels put forward the name of BBC World as an alternative?
Those who holiday abroad will know that this is often the only English-language channel to be found on the set in their hotel or apartment, and it's tedious almost beyond belief.
The same stories go round and round, in depth and at length from parts of the globe you couldn't care less about. If you want to know what's happening back home in the UK, you can more or less forget it unless it's a massive story like the July 2005 bombings.
And when it comes to weather-forecast time the presenter does a rapid global gallop which is so general as to be practically useless: raining in Japan, snowing in Russia, bit windy across the northern United States, that sort of thing.
BBC World tries, on a limited budget, to be all things to all the world. As far as this viewer at least is concerned, it doesn't succeed.
No 2 - 'yuman rites' bashing
Yet another much-loved family man has died after confronting youths who were damaging his property.
Garry Newlove, below, father of three teenage daughters in Warrington, joins the ever-growing list of people who have become victims for daring to challenge the behaviour of the feral, low-life scum who are making life a nightmare for residents of so many Britain's streets.
There's a section of a whole generation running out of control and beyond redemption. If they can't be culled (which would be by far the most effective solution) they need to be tamed.
Never mind 100 hours of community service, six months' youth custody or an ASBO (surely one of the most useless law-enforcement measures ever devised).
The punishment for these losers must be made so grim, tough and prolonged (whatever the human-rights bleeding hearts might have to say about it) that it acts as a real deterrent rather than a mere slap on the wrist.
If that doesn't happen, I'm afraid there'll be a growing number of Garry Newloves in the future.
Thankfully he didn't bring up capital punishment, often his answer to everything
Redeems himself a bit here
But then having a young generation that thinks and challenges wouldn't suit the people in power, would it? They don't like that sort of thing (witness the Establishment reaction to this week's protest over plans to make Heathrow Airport even bigger and even more damaging to the environment).
No, they'd rather have them worrying about the goings-on in the Big Brother house instead - while their parents and grandparents are kept distracted mourning the death of Elvis 30 years ago.
Not quite sure what hes getting at with that last bit