[Big Arnold]

So if a pregnant woman has just pissed in it, you're safe.

[satnav]

Carrying a copy of the Daily Mail around with you all the time also exempts you from most minor laws.

[Big Arnold]

If I Fell: Sir Paul McCartney under fire from neighbours over plans to strip thousands of trees from his Scottish estate

Neighbours say trucks driving down single-track road will be dangerous

'No decision have been made on how the wood will exit the estate. All available options are being explored taking into account a whole range of factors including impact on residents.'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z35vlnsiJc" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[Daley Mayle]

300 lorries? One every day and none on Sunday.

[Big Arnold]

Stowe boarding chief admits emergency contraceptive pills 'ran out': Top public school in 'morning after pill' sex furore
Email reveals school ran out of emergency contraceptives after one weekend

At it like rabbits, were they? Er no.

Law firm Schillings last night said on behalf of the school that Stowe’s medical centre held only two morning-after pills at the time.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z361rrrnmt" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;


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[Kreuzberger]

A school retains Shillings? Fuck me, the world has gone stark, staring mad.

[Big Arnold]

The drug that could give elderly people the immune system of a 20-year-old and dramatically reduce deaths from flu

‘However, we expect it to be at least five to ten years before a drug reaches the clinic.’

That's tomorrow's Express front page sorted.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/artic ... z3InB6GYbQ" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[davidjay]

'It's a f****** £5 note!' Furious Scot films row with a McDonald's manager in London who refuses to accept his Scottish money

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... money.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

A spokesman for McDonald's said: 'The note in question was passed through one of our machines responsible for checking genuine bank notes and failed on two occasions.
'This was the reason it was not accepted and has nothing to do with it being Scottish tender. The vast majority of McDonald's UK restaurants accept Scottish banknotes.'

Comments could also be posted in the "Political swipe" section.

[Big-Iain]

Alexa, stop it! Amazon's personal assistant is causing havoc for people with a similar name
The Amazon Echo responds to requests when its personal assistant is called
But people with the name Alexa, Alex or Alexis say the system is a nightmare

Major middle class problem as the evil tax-dodgers at Amazon sneer at us, and consigns Alex's Alexas's and Alexis's to a lifetime of unwanted orders. Damn you Amazon.
Daily Mail Science section churn a WSJ article.
..
..and in paragraph 13

To combat the annoyance to Alexas, Amazon allows users to change the device's 'wake word' to 'Echo', 'Amazon', or, starting this week, 'computer'.

And there was much rejoicing

[karlt]

I wonder if the judge would have given the same sentence if it was his daughter?
- Nay, GB, 9/9/2013 22:40
Click to rate Rating 22

Planet Mailtard. Where judges are allowed to preside over trials involving family members, and there are no sentencing guidelines or appeal courts.

Had the cyclist been male and over eighteen they'd be calling for him to be knighted.

[Fozzy]

Classic dogwhistle:

Fury as traffic wardens slap £130 parking tickets on ambulances bringing cancer patients to one of London's biggest hospitals

Most of the commentators haven't read past the headline and assume this is eeevil traffic wardens preventing emergency ambulances from doing their jobs, despite the fact that you only have to read to paragraph 2 to read:

Private ambulances and cars are being given the penalties for leaving their vehicles near University College Hospital's Macmillan Cancer Centre in Bloomsbury while they change shifts or take in non-emergency patients.

Paragraph 19:

A Camden Council spokesman said: 'We have not issued Penalty Charge Notices to any ambulances on duty providing an emergency service.

'We have asked UCLH and their contractor, who provide non-emergency transport for the hospital, to discuss how they will ensure they maintain access and park non-emergency vehicles in permitted areas.'

Translates as: G4S didn't want to factor in the costs of parking in their contract arrangements, God forbid that anything should eat into their profits, so their vehicles should be allowed to minimise the time involved in delivering patients to the doors by obstructing everyone else on the roads, including emergency ambulances.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... fines.html

[Big Arnold]

Police launch investigation after one-year-old boy is found wandering the streets barefoot and without a coat

Police are urgently trying to track down the parents of a toddler discovered wandering around in a street.

Devon and Cornwall Police have confirmed the toddler has been identified and is being cared for by social services.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... s-Day.html