From people watching pornography on the bus (yes, really)
What about the moral environment? If one child sees a prettily packaged vibrator in someone’s trolley and asks what it is, that’s one too many.
Sex toys at Sainsbury's? RICHARD LITTLEJOHN imagines how Mary Whitehouse would react
Liz Jones. I only buy my sex toys at Harrods. Which is why I'm always skint
Ton Utley. I had to ask my two layabout sons how to switch it on.
Peter Hitchens. Sex toys at Sainsbury's? They'll be selling cannabis next.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/arti ... g-bag.htmlJANET STREET-PORTER: How can we trust a woman to run the country whose favourite 'lucky coat' looks like a sleeping bag?
JANET STREET-PORTER: Gary Lineker may be turning into a likeable national treasure but any man who prefers football to sex is fundamentally selfish
Gary Lineker tells us he's negotiating a new contract with the BBC and has offered to take a reduction in his £1.75million salary, admitting 'it's the right thing to do'.
This timely confession coincides with a media blitz to promote a new book based on his popular podcast with Danny Baker (Behind Closed Doors), recorded in his kitchen.
I am sure that Gary Lineker is a very nice person - to be blunt, he's not exactly exciting.
But something astonishing has happened - we are so devoid of politicians with any personality (or ones who have a bit of character - like Boris - but turn out to be wafflers, fibbers and downright liars) that Gary's run-of-the-mill musings about life, censorship, cooking and refugees on Twitter have gained him over 7.4million followers.
And to many men (and some women) he is a Living God, someone who could be stepping up and leading us back to sanity. As Britain teeters towards chaos and confusion following whatever happens at Halloween, placid, thoughtful Gary is being touted as a potential politician in some quarters.
His fans would like him to step up and lead a government of National Unity, bringing together warring factions on left and right with his easy going banter.
He says he voted remain in the Referendum, and at the next General Election would vote Lib Dem or Green. This working class bloke, who left school with just four O-levels, has educated himself, can chat to Cabinet ministers as an equal and has turned into a national hero. I fully expected Jo Swinson to invite Gary onto the platform at her first conference as Lib Dem leader this week, and announce that Gary was going to run for parliament.
Of course he would never agree, Gary might be charming but his ego is gigantic. A man who can tell a female interviewer 'despite rumours that I was some kind of sexual predator…I'm unbelievably fussy'. And add 'It's been a while… It's a stupid and horrible thing to say, in a way, but I'm not massively into sex. I quite like flirting a little bit. Now that's all I do'.
Notice the use of the word 'massively'- that's the real giveaway, the sign that one person - Gary - has to be in charge and choreographing any relationship. He confesses 'this is being really honest. It's like hard work. Going on a date, and then, come on, let's do it. Do we really have to do all that? So, I've had hardly any dates'.
In those few words, Gary sums up how most middle-aged men feel about sex - they can't be bothered. The reason? They fear losing control, looking a bit stupid, pleasing a woman rather than themselves and forgetting what their hair/stomach/hairy buttocks or big feet look like. And they worry that they might have a small willy.
So Gary is speaking for 90 per cent of men aged between 30 and their deathbeds, when he makes the simple act of shagging sound like a minefield, an activity you can only fail at. How sad.
Gary has carefully transformed his easy going personality, cheery and unflappable, into a lucrative brand - trousering millions for hosting sports programmes, most of which the public pay for via our BBC licence fees.
On top of that he gets even more cash for flogging crisps - not a product one would associate with healthy living.
The 58-year-old is worth around £30million and I wonder how he justified asking for his obscenely huge salary in the first place? It's not like he's scoring goals anymore –although he holds the record for the most goals scored for England in the FIFA World Cup finals, and scored 48 goals playing in 80 games for our National team.
He's a brilliant TV host, but at the end of the day it just involves sitting behind a desk talking about football - something he has spent his life studying. It's not building HS2 or a spaceship to Mars, it's not coming up with a pill to stop dementia. It's just being good at chat about ball control.
But is Gary's clever strategy of being Britain's Mr Normal showing signs of coming adrift? He upset some right wing fans by revealing where he stood on immigration and Syrian refugees (supportive) and offering his thoughts on the Brexit vote (Gary wants a second Referendum and supports the People's Vote campaign).
He tweets and retweets compulsively, signing up to good causes and sticking up for friends. This week, he lent his name to the campaign to encourage people to block or mute trolls on social media.
One tabloid described Lineker as a 'sniping left-wing bore'… who 'seems intent on reinventing himself as a warrior for social justice.'
Some of his tweets can seem crass. After his extraordinary revelations about shunning sex, comedian David Baddiel tweeted 'bit weird for someone who was always scoring'. To which Gary responded 'been a while since I was in the box'. David Baddiel replied 'It's the positional play that's the key'. And Gary came up with 'about attacking the space sometimes from in front, occasionally from behind'.
This reminded me (I used to be the BBC executive in charge of the Fantasy Football league series hosted by Baddiel and Frank Skinner) just how obsessed men of a certain age are with trying to get women to have weird sex. It used to be a whole section of Frank Skinner's live show in his drinking days.
Gary supports Green causes, but hasn't got round to buying an electric car. He works out three times a week with a personal trainer, has a gym in his basement and lifts weights. He's fit, trim, can cook and is houseproud. He gets on with his ex wives and his four sons.
According to Gary, 'scoring goals is always better. Sex is just a bit of a moment'. That simple dismissal of the best fun you can possibly have sums up the case for the prosecution - this man is not fit to run the country, let alone be taken seriously.
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