Discussion of article from the Mail's columnists and RightMinds contributors
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By Andy McDandy
Membership Days Membership Days Posts
#618450
...it's down to the 'Spoons (in earlier years it'd be the working men's club) or the takeaway until the inevitable heart attack.
 
By davidjay
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#618513
Boiler wrote:
Fri Jul 24, 2020 10:27 pm
He sounds like the sort of person that'd nurse a half of mild in the snug for a whole evening. If he went to a pub, that is.
Full of bloody kids and women now. Cheaper to get some cans from Asda.
 
By MisterMuncher
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#618514
Guarantee he cannot cook either. Likes it plain, and plain is how he likes it. Y'mind those old fuckers who used to write into Points Of View because Delia or Mary Berry had used a clove of garlic?

Turns out they aren't all dead.
 
By davidjay
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#618540
Andy McDandy wrote:
Fri Jul 24, 2020 8:55 am
I'm reasonably sure that in the past, when the Mail has run some story about how everyone working at a sandwich factory is Romanian and can no British people make a sarnie any more, Dickie has wondered why people can't just do home made lunches. Now it turns out that they're the backbone of the economy. Who knew?
I do wish he'd make up his mind.
Early Friday morning, I happened to be near Reading and fancied an old-fashioned bacon banjo and a mug of workmen’s tea. I drove up and down the A4 for miles without success. Eventually, I spotted somewhere called Frankie & Benny’s offering an ‘All Day Breakfast’.
 
By Bones McCoy
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#618580
davidjay wrote:
Sat Jul 25, 2020 2:03 pm
Andy McDandy wrote:
Fri Jul 24, 2020 8:55 am
I'm reasonably sure that in the past, when the Mail has run some story about how everyone working at a sandwich factory is Romanian and can no British people make a sarnie any more, Dickie has wondered why people can't just do home made lunches. Now it turns out that they're the backbone of the economy. Who knew?
I do wish he'd make up his mind.
Early Friday morning, I happened to be near Reading and fancied an old-fashioned bacon banjo and a mug of workmen’s tea. I drove up and down the A4 for miles without success. Eventually, I spotted somewhere called Frankie & Benny’s offering an ‘All Day Breakfast’.
How to out yerself as a Walt - say "Bacon Banjo".
 
By Andy McDandy
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#618619
Also I'm pretty sure that even the most paranoid shut-in of his readers is familiar with the concepts of chain restaurants and all day breakfasts.

And "up and down the A4"? It's a fucking dual carriageway. Where are you turning around?

Yes, sure, it's a persona. 70s and 80s, blokey, likes a laugh, no time for women nagging, or intellectuals, or people with glasses. His time of his life was aged 13, swinging his school bag round his head and catching Specky McPastry with it. Tried it on with posh Jenny at the school disco, got a bit handsy, got knocked back, had more luck with easy Sharon. Never hung out with the real hard kids, the council estate psychos, after all his family holidayed abroad and went to the Harvester for Sunday lunch.

A persona for sure, but to quote Blackadder, how fortunate that his job is also his hobby.
 
By davidjay
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#618623
In Dickie's imagination, school was one long round of football, smoking behind the bike sheds, giving lip to the teachers (the same ones you daren't have answered back when the Bring Back Corporal Punishment template has to be dusted down), copping off with Big Tits Sandra, hanging out with the bad lads and picking on the speccy kids.

In reality nobody he went to school with would remember him because he sat in the middle, got on with his work and ran errands for Gripper's gang.
 
By Andy McDandy
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#618625
According to his memoir, he was offered a scholarship but turned it down because only the swots and nerds went to clever school.

He was the big kid who lorded it over everyone else until people realised that he wasn't that bright, and not as physically tough as the properly hard kids. His sad being a policeman suggests to me that there may have been a bit of hiding behind his coat tails going on.
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