Discussion of article from the Mail's columnists and RightMinds contributors
By Tubby Isaacs
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My parents' print edition has an article by him in it. It's about Germany and the EU. It's called "The Fourth Reich".

If I say people should all riot outside his house, I can get put in jail. But if I just think that, then nothing can be done to me.

I think everyone should riot outside Simon Heffer's house.
By Giant f*cking Sudoku
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Seems like the entire German nation may well have good grounds to sue over this. Heffer appears to have spent his whole career longing to be some kind of intellectual or academic heavyweight, yet he writes retarded, unprovoked, inflammatory crap like this. What a massive chump of a heffalump!
By crabcakes_windermere
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I've sort of met Simon Heffer in person - he occasionally used to get the same train to work I did when I commuted in to London. On every occasion I saw him he would barge his way to the front of the platform, then barge his way onto the train and sit huffing as other people got on - one time literally shoving a woman out of the way to get the last free seat in a carriage.

While this is by no means an in-depth character assessment, based on that glimpse of personal behaviour and the crap he comes out with in his writing, I'd be fairly confident in labelling Simon Heffer a grade A wanker.

Also, on a professional level (I does the editing, innit?) , his outrageously pig-headed columns and books about grammar are mainly bollocks and may as well have the title "What I want should be the rule and the rest of you should shut up and go away".
By Tubby Isaacs
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I notice he wrote a biography about Enoch Powell, despite their being a very good one already by Robert Shepherd. In that, he credited a girl I was at uni with for some advice with classics, and praised her in the most fulsome terms. I can't recall her being outstanding at the subject. Very odd.
By dailyheil
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Yeah he's some of the Heff's highlights or lowlights

Believing the the murders f Holly Wells and Jessica Chapman were the result of liberal society

Oppposed the abolition of hereditary peers

Supported the retention of section 28

This is a charming quote about Liverpool "If the Government wishes to prime the economy, it should bulldoze the Norris Green estate in Liverpool, where the murderer and his gang live, and split up the gang by redistributing them around the country, preferably to remote islands. Until we stop paying people to be an underclass, we'll have an underclass"
By JuanTwoThree
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As Crabcakes says, Heffer is quite a good guide to what can safely be called 'utter bollocks' in linguistics circles, where I also move when not slumming it with you lot:

http://languagelog.ldc.upenn.edu/nll/?p=2780" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2010/oc ... ice-review" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
By The Brass Moustache
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Utterly repellent man, the sort of rubbish this man espouses is almost beyond parody, a man who combined the sneering unearned sense of importance of Max Hastings, with the massive detachment from modern life of Peter Hitchens, with the Essex white-van man 'hang the lot' prejudices of a Richard Littlejohn.

Some of the crap he's come out with (whilst writing for the Telegraph):
'And shooting foxes is not nearly so humane a means of killing them as is the instant death of being set on by a pack of hounds, so the idea that cruelty was going to be ended by banning hunting has turned out to be drivel, too' (18 Feb 2006)
Yes, he really said that, what a cock.

'It is premature to have an inquest, but I remain convinced of one thing: a McCain defeat will have little or nothing to do with Sarah Palin, whose appeal to a largely silent majority has been rendered invisible by the arrogant sexism and snobbery of the media here.' (01 Nov 2008)
Yep, definitely sexism and snobbery, nothing to do with the fact that the woman was clearly a moron, and wasn't even vaguely qualified to take on one of the most important jobs in the world with power over whether millions of people live or die, and has a substantial influence on the global economy, no, being critical of Sarah Palin just makes you a snob.

'Comedians who are not Leftists have more or less been driven out of business. Bernard Manning was martyred in this cause. Jim Davidson is in the process of following him, not because he isn't funny, but because he was a strong supporter of Mrs Thatcher. Long after she left office, the spiteful little creeps who form the "comedy" establishment of this country would get laughs from their bovine audiences simply by mentioning her name.' (29 Apr 2011)
The classic right-wing belief that everyone must think the same as you because you're part of the 'silent majority' who exist , completely unaware of the fact that in reality most people actually do think Manning and Davidson are cocks, and that making jokes about Thatcher isn't just something done out of petty spite, it's because many people have good reason to hate the old bitch and what she did to vast areas of this country. Also embraces the Littlejohnesque view that the only reason that the things you like (laughing at people who aren't white, have a different sexuality, etc.) aren't as successful any more must be as a result of a left-wing conspiracy to prevent such things, that damn political correctness. And the inverted commas around comedy, jeezas.

That ends this evening's Heffer-focused rant.
Last edited by The Brass Moustache on Fri Sep 09, 2011 10:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
By Gourami
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How many people have stood before a firing squad and pleaded to be torn to shreds by a pack of dogs? Weird how the Mail love to have a wankfest over stories of devil dogs mauling people, especially when they're kids. I thought it was instant death? Those people who remain alive but with chewed off faces/body parts must be doing it wrong?
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dailyheil wrote: This is a charming quote about Liverpool "If the Government wishes to prime the economy, it should bulldoze the Norris Green estate in Liverpool, where the murderer and his gang live, and split up the gang by redistributing them around the country, preferably to remote islands. Until we stop paying people to be an underclass, we'll have an underclass"
When Boris had his Liverpool "situation" it wasn't actually he who wrote the Spectator editorial in question- it was Heffer who rather cowardly only admitted "having a hand in it". Yet Boris did the apologising. If I was him I'd have told Heffer to get off his lazy fat arse and go up there himself. He used to have a regular column in the Mail on Sunday. Utterly revolting little shit.

And this reminds me of what Littlejohn told Blair what he should do about Liverpool once.

On fantasy island-Johann Hari
But I carefully sewed up my sides, opened the book, and found Littlejohn's first gag. He told a pre-power Tony Blair, when asked for political advice, that he should "take on Liverpool". He should "put tanks on the East Lancs Road, submarines in the River Mersey and then surround the place with barbed wire. Then you send in the bombers and turn the place into a car park. When the dust settles, you invite the Hong Kong Chinese to take over. Job done."

Cherie Blair - a Liverpudlian - found this tedious and walked off, thus giving birth to Littlejohn's barrage of "satire" against her. He dubbed her "the Wicked Witch" with "saddlebag hips", "legs like Popeye's trousers" and "fat ankles".
By dailyheil
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and yet it was that cunt Heffer who should have the apologising since he wrote it in the first place
Last edited by dailyheil on Sat Sep 10, 2011 1:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
By Abernathy
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dailyheil wrote:and yet i done the was that cunt Heffer who should have the apologising also with regard to littlejohn bear in mind he worked for the sun in 1989 and you get a good idea why he said what he did about Liverpool

Eh??? :|
By dailyheil
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Ok so he joined in 89 mybe before or after their hillsborough coverage but given that paper's editor's attidude towards Liverpool Littlejohn's remarks come as no surprise and sorry aboout that earlier post lately when I post on here the text jumps about and eats into each other
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