[SewerUrchin]

Aka, the woman who, despite working for the Mail (which is oh-so-tolerant of the unconventional-looking), has written a column about coming to terms with not being much of a looker (I think "ugly" is pushing it; I doubt people recoil in horror upon seeing her or anything, she's just not perfectly symmetrical, facially).

She's kind of hard to feel too much sympathy for, mind. Aside from being a Mail hack, she's also the scourge of au pairs, and would rather starve than take her daughters out of private school (her son, however, can go to a state school).

Anyway, I think she deserves her own thread by now.

[davidjay]

Skint with children at private school and an au pair. And low self-esteem. When does she get the imaginary rock star boyfriend?

[ezinra]

After all, deep down, isn’t being pretty what every woman secretly wants to be?

No. Respected, appreciated, fulfilled. Desired, perhaps, by a person or persons that she herself desires. Mentally healthy.

The tragedy for girls is that they imagine they will achieve those goals if they become pretty. But it's a game you can't win. You may be a size six, but Mail readers will consider you too fat — or too scrawny. Good looks might bring 'opportunity' but they don't bring you respect. Managing them eats up your spare time. You get older.

Pink stinks.

[glasgowgril]

What everyone, not just women, desires to be is happy. The fallacy that so many sad people embrace is that good looks lead to happiness in and of themselves.

[Malcolm Armsteen]

I once worked with someone who was constantly dieting, and started going to the gym three times a week. She said "If I lose enough weight perhaps someone will love me". We wept. She was beautiful, clever and amusing...

[SewerUrchin]

After all, deep down, isn’t being pretty what every woman secretly wants to be?

No. Respected, appreciated, fulfilled. Desired, perhaps, by a person or persons that she herself desires. Mentally healthy.

The tragedy for girls is that they imagine they will achieve those goals if they become pretty. But it's a game you can't win. You may be a size six, but Mail readers will consider you too fat — or too scrawny. Good looks might bring 'opportunity' but they don't bring you respect. Managing them eats up your spare time. You get older.

Pink stinks.

I admit, being pretty would be nice, but it's not top of my list of priorities. I'd rather be kind or clever or funny or creative. Plus, being pretty is not necessarily the amazing thing people think it is; I have some stunning friends, and they often find that people underestimate them or talk down to them (basically, seeing any attractive woman as a brainless bimbo there solely for decoration). Then there's the whole thing of everyone hating the prettiest girl in the room; I've noticed girls, on so many occasions, bitching about another girl for seemingly no reason than her appearance. For example, I worked in a call centre a few years back, and there was a girl who was very conventionally attractive; good smile, perfect hair, great figure, etc. She seemed perfectly nice when I spoke to her, but as soon as she went to the toilet or on a break, some of the other women in my team would start muttering stuff like "Look at her, she bloody loves herself, like anyone would talk to her if she didn't have big tits", etc. It's like we're so pissed off when we meet someone better than us in any way (even if it's just aesthetically, which is highly subjective) that we have to convince ourselves that they must be awful in every other way. Hence the number of bitter women making snide remarks about prettier ones, or, as seen in the Mail, uneducated people assuming that anyone with an education has no common sense and doesn't know how to work hard; a lot of humans get very insecure when they perceive themselves to be out-done in any way.

[oboogie]

After all, deep down, isn’t being pretty what every woman secretly wants to be?

No. Respected, appreciated, fulfilled. Desired, perhaps, by a person or persons that she herself desires. Mentally healthy.

The tragedy for girls is that they imagine they will achieve those goals if they become pretty. But it's a game you can't win. You may be a size six, but Mail readers will consider you too fat — or too scrawny. Good looks might bring 'opportunity' but they don't bring you respect. Managing them eats up your spare time. You get older.

Pink stinks.

I admit, being pretty would be nice, but it's not top of my list of priorities. I'd rather be kind or clever or funny or creative. Plus, being pretty is not necessarily the amazing thing people think it is; I have some stunning friends, and they often find that people underestimate them or talk down to them (basically, seeing any attractive woman as a brainless bimbo there solely for decoration). Then there's the whole thing of everyone hating the prettiest girl in the room; I've noticed girls, on so many occasions, bitching about another girl for seemingly no reason than her appearance. For example, I worked in a call centre a few years back, and there was a girl who was very conventionally attractive; good smile, perfect hair, great figure, etc. She seemed perfectly nice when I spoke to her, but as soon as she went to the toilet or on a break, some of the other women in my team would start muttering stuff like "Look at her, she bloody loves herself, like anyone would talk to her if she didn't have big tits", etc. It's like we're so pissed off when we meet someone better than us in any way (even if it's just aesthetically, which is highly subjective) that we have to convince ourselves that they must be awful in every other way. Hence the number of bitter women making snide remarks about prettier ones, or, as seen in the Mail, uneducated people assuming that anyone with an education has no common sense and doesn't know how to work hard; a lot of humans get very insecure when they perceive themselves to be out-done in any way.

I admit, being pretty would be nice, but it's not top of my list of priorities. I'd rather be kind or clever or funny or creative.

SewerUrchin, I agree with all the above, it rings many bells. BTW I've seen the photo you posted and you are certainly an attractive woman and more importantly, on the evidence that I've seen, you are clever, funny and creative.

[SewerUrchin]

Aw, I feel all embarrassed now. Thankyou!

Insert comment that makes me seem less narcissistic here.

[oboogie]

Aw, I feel all embarrassed now. Thankyou!

Insert comment that makes me seem less narcissistic here.

You're welcome.

But I don't know what's narcissistic about ambition.

[Messianic Trees]

What became of our schoolgirl dreams? Friends keep promise and meet again at 40 to compare how their lives turned out

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... z1aqMmA663" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[ezinra]

[quote="Messianic Trees"]What became of our schoolgirl dreams? Friends keep promise and meet again at 40 to compare how their lives turned out

The article is quite boring, but the comments confirm that Mailites don't even read the words, they just scan the pictures looking for excess body weight.

'Mail readers' is thus an inaccurate term; 'Mail lookers' is better but could be misread as evidence that these saddoes are themselves gorgeous specimens of humanity; so I think I'll settle for 'Mail gazers'.

Whoever they are, I hate them.

[Tubby Isaacs]

They've been having more midnight feasts than just that one in the basement, sorry.
- Lisa, London, UK, 15/10/2011 12:39

[oboogie]

What became of our schoolgirl dreams? Friends keep promise and meet again at 40 to compare how their lives turned out
I think I'll settle for 'Mail gazers'.

I expect quite a lot of the Mail Gazers regularly dream of schoolgirls.

[ezinra]

My husband is having a reverse midlife crisis



Hard times.

Is there anything about this woman's life she hasn't put in a newspaper?

- Jane, London, 29/12/2011 12:42 Rating 2

[davidjay]

Nice bit of misogyny here. The bloke might not be too good looking, but he could still get off with someone else if you don't look after yourself a bit better, love.

44? He could pass for 54 easily. And you dont have time to shave your legs? Sorry love, you need to raise your game or he will indeed be off to find a younger (or even an older) woman who still ticks the boxes.
- Geezer, UK, 29/12/2011 20:33