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By Safe_Timber_Man
Membership Days Posts
#585554
:roll: Piers doing the Piers act.

PIERS MORGAN: Don’t you feminist snowflakes dare turn James Bond into a woman - he’s the last real man left in Hollywood

It was coming, wasn’t it?

As sure as night follows day, I knew with a sense of inevitable impending doom that one day soon the woke brigade would try to destroy James Bond.

After all, as a white heterosexual man who kills people, seduces random women, brazenly chats up female co-workers, drinks, gambles, smokes cigars and cracks inappropriate jokes, Bond represents the very antithesis of everything the PC-crazed, radical feminist, snowflake world stands for, so must of course be eliminated from public life.

The warning signs have been coming with alarming regularity via leaks from the set of the latest Bond movie, No Time To Die.

First, it was reported that the script begins with James now retired and temporarily replaced as 007 by a black woman, played by Lashana Lynch.

Then it emerged that producers have determined James must now ‘navigate the #MeToo movement’ which basically means him morphing from a steely-eyed, murderously sophisticated womanizing caveman into a touchy-feely, over-emotional, wreck to wants to talk sensitively to ladies about his problems - not bed them.

Now, we’ve reached the entirely predictable nadir of this campaign to emasculate the most masculine icon in movie history: he must undergo a sex change and become female.

‘Get out of the way, guys!’ demands feminist-by-proxy Pierce Brosnan, who played Bond four times, ‘and put a woman up there! I think it would be exhilarating, it would be exciting!’

Et tu, Pierce?

Seriously?

He follows the current Bond, Daniel Craig and action hero Chris Hemsworth in calling for a female 007.

And it’s a virtue-signalling bandwagon that must be stopped dead in its tracks, like a Bond villain in the final ten minutes of each movie.

This is not about equality.

I don’t object to women playing 007 because they somehow lack the requisite skills to do so.

I’m sure there are many female spies operating right now who are just as adept at killing people, seducing members of the opposite sex, chatting up co-workers, drinking, gambling, smoking and cracking inappropriate jokes.

No, I object to it because James Bond is a man, was always intended to be a man, and should remain a man.

You can make Bond a black man – I’d love to see Idris Elba take over from Craig – or any other ethnic persuasion man for that matter, but you can’t make him a woman.

Nor can you suddenly make him all ‘woke’ because that’s not what he ever was in any of Fleming’s novels.

Bond, like him or loathe him, is a male, straight, misogynist loner who prefers tuxedos to dresses.

That’s just who he is. Period.

And that’s why he’s been so beloved for so many decades, and retained such a powerful place in British culture.

As Sean Connery once put it: ‘Bond is important: this invincible superman that every man would like to copy, that every woman like to conquer, this dream we all have of survival.’

As with all these stupid ‘woke’ campaigns, very few people outside the radical liberal bubble actually want it to happen.

On my breakfast TV show Good Morning Britain today, we ran a poll asking if Bond should be a woman and 86% of viewers (in a very large response) said no.

I suspect there were even more women than men voting against it, because for many women, and I hate to break this to you my darling feministas, James Bond represents total escapism and the very epitome of protective masculinity.

If Pierce Brosnan needs someone other than me to explain why this is a dumb idea, then he should ask Rosamund Pike, who co-starred with him in Die Another Day.

‘James Bond is a character that Ian Fleming created,’ she said, ‘and the character is a man. It’s a very masculine creation. Why should a woman get sort of sloppy seconds? Why should she have been a man and now it has to be played by a woman? Why not be a kick-ass female agent in her own right?’

Exactly.

By all means create your own super-spies, ladies, but for the love of God, leave our guy alone.

Aside from the sheer unnecessary PC idiocy of making Bond a woman, there’s also a commercial imperative to not doing it.

Recently, Gillette decided to abandon its traditional, ultra-macho ‘the best a man can get’ advertising for a new ‘woke’ campaign that attacked men for our toxic masculinity.

Suddenly, everything that Gillette had once celebrated about strong risk-taking men, including many of the values that James Bond espouses, were now mocked in an ugly, vindictive manner.

We were ordered to stop beating our chests, protecting our families and wanting to win in life, and instead aspire to be less monstrous in a two-minute film alluding to sexual harassment, sexist behavior, bullying and the #MeToo movement under the slogan ‘the best men can be’.

The clear implication was that all men are despicable until they can be taught otherwise, and the only good man is a thoroughly emasculated one.

I warned when Gillette did this back in January that men would reject this message with blind fury.

And so we did.

In a massive global two-fingered response, Gillette’s male product sales collapsed in the space of just a few months, causing a staggering $8 BILLION writedown in the company’s value and a dramatic U-turn back to macho commercials starring burly firemen who risk their lives.

Gillette learned the hard way that most men don’t actually want to be sniveling apologetic little snowflakes.

And if this ridiculous campaign to turn James Bond into a woman succeeds then I confidently predict an even bigger commercial disaster at the box office.

But if the feminists do get their way, then let me put everyone on notice: I will launch revenge campaigns to have Bridget Jones turned into Brian Jones, Wonder Woman into Wonder Man, and Sleeping Beauty into a bearded bloke.


Mrlee, London, United Kingdom, 17 hours ago
The left have to ruin everything, thats their motivation, rip up society and every norm or common sense truth and rebuild it in their ridiculous image where everyone is 'equal', have no freedom and instead rely on elites to tell them what to say, do and think.
+3680 -162
supastar25, manchester, 17 hours ago
They're not stopping until EVERYTHING is ruined and up in flames...
+1423 -36
LensssLens, London, United Kingdom, 17 hours ago
This is cultural cleansing. James Bond 007 is a man. If they want a woman call it Jane Bond 00 36-24-36.
+776 -30
mrclean, Louisville, 18 hours ago
It's too late Piers. We already are brainwashed into believing 5'2" female actresses can put the beatdown on 6'2" 235lb all muscle men on a daily basis after running them down at a full sprint in high heels. Maybe that's why I'm hearing my younger female relatives talk tough like rambo? They're starting to believe the hype too.
+452 -19





Maybe that's why I'm hearing my younger female relatives talk tough like rambo? They're starting to believe the hype too.
Fucking hell. Imagine having this twat as a family member.
By Andy McDandy
Membership Days Membership Days Posts
#585556
He really is just that kid at school who claimed his uncle was in the SAS and he'd proper fucked a girl at a party so cool that nobody else was invited.
 
By Malcolm Armsteen
Membership Days Membership Days Posts
#585559
I think the owners of this hideously tedious franchise have missed a trick.

If they were to aver that 'James Bond' is a codename, or nom de ruse, that would easily explain the changes of actor over the years - the top sexist, reactionary, psychopathic spy is always called James Bond - or at least #7 is. Easy.

Therefore no reason why said psychopath shouldn't be a woman, android or small carnivorous dinosaur.

Oh, wait. He's already a dinosaur.
Kreuzberger, Abernathy liked this
By Andy McDandy
Membership Days Membership Days Posts
#585586
Best thing is, he presents himself as some kind of alpha male while he's a fat little rich boy who made his name kissing celebrity arses.
Projective Unity liked this
 
By spoonman
Membership Days Posts
#585593
Andy McDandy wrote:
Tue Sep 10, 2019 1:33 pm
Best thing is, he presents himself as some kind of alpha male while he's a fat little rich boy who made his name kissing celebrity arses.
Sticking with the current trend of 90's nostalgia for Internet memes, I'd like to draw on here the American teen comedy film "American Pie" - Morgan likely sees himself as Stiffler turned up to 11, however in reality he's much more like Chuck Sherman.
By satnav
Membership Days Membership Days Posts
#585602
Since when were James Bond films made in Hollywood? I always thought most of the filming was done in this country or on location.

Using Morgan's logic Margaret Thatcher should never have become Prime Minister in 1979 because British Prime Ministers had always been men for hundreds of years.
 
By Snowflake
#585613
Safe_Timber_Man wrote:
Tue Sep 10, 2019 4:03 pm
He did kindly give them permission to use a black man if they wish:
You can make Bond a black man – I’d love to see Idris Elba take over from Craig – or any other ethnic persuasion man for that matter, but you can’t make him a woman.
I did miss that, although I think the comments imply his readers may disagree. :)
 
By MisterMuncher
Membership Days Membership Days Posts
#585626
No harm to Piers or anything, but if that was my yardstick for masculinity I'd put two in the back of my own head.

It's also pretty funny coming from a man who is clearly soft as shite, who couldn't seduce anything with more brain matter than a Fray Bentos pie
Watchman liked this
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