[Big Rob]

[old dwarf joke]If that dwarf is not happy, then which one is he?[/old dwarf joke]

[Big Arnold]

Mother's horror after finding a rubber GLOVE in a Greggs pasty she bought for her three-year-old daughter

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z3Oz7ymMfJ" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

[SoulBoy]

Wine bar bans vicar from having a drink on Easter Sunday because he was wearing sandals

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... ndals.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;



A pity he didn't play the SadFace victim, he would have scored one million PLU points.

[satnav]

Couple's bemusement as Thomas Cook accidentally transfers their holiday query call through to an X-rated phone sex line

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z3iLlSsAVV" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;



We haven't got a section for bemused faces so it with have to be filed under happy.

[Daley Mayle]

Photographer: 'Right then guys, I want you to hold the phone and your boyfriend put his arm around your shoulder, That's great... that's great. Right then, can you have a bemused expression'

Couple: 'Dur... wossat?'

Photographer: <Thinks: Oh FF'sS!> 'Bemusement, it means to look puzzled'

Couple: 'Dur...'

Photographer: 'Perfect'

[satnav]

If they are so shocked by a tame chat-line I think Amsterdam is going to be a real eye-opener for them!

[mattomac]

The guy is thinking wow.... I'm getting this for free can you leave the room for a bit love?

I'm not going pour the usual scorn as I find him highly attractive... see also Adam Lallana for my odd interest in guys.

[Fozzy]

Passenger's outrage after she is fined £1,300 for failing to pay £2.20 bus fare - because her travel pass was two years out of date

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z3kCI2lfCZ" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

I wonder why the Mail chose that particular picture to illustrate the story? She isn't even holding the ticket and pointing to it. Strangely, she seems to have forgotten to explain how it came about that she used a two years out of date travel pass for a different region.

[The Weeping Angel]

Why's she doing a Karen Danczuk?

[Daley Mayle]

The ticket inspector must have been related to Blakey, a good looking girl like that should need only flirt her way out of such situations.

[mattomac]

2 years out of date....



The fine is a bit excessive but why the hell would you keep a out of date travel card and then attempt to use it on a £2.20 fare.

[Big Arnold]

Tearful vegan, 26, tells of her horror at eating meat for first time this year after she was accidentally served beef in Wetherspoon pub and had to make herself sick in the toilet

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... n-pub.html

[cycloon]

It's a lot cheaper to use people's social media pics.

Also, non-PLU klaxon.

[MisterMuncher]

It's a lot cheaper to use people's social media pics.

Also, non-PLU klaxon.

Plus, you get a nice broad palette to work with, pick them without context and let the thick fuckers reading it make their own "judgements" on the kind of person you're dealing with. Saves time and effort.