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By Abernathy
Membership Days Membership Days Posts
#527604
Well, here it is. More entries than ever before, but I have to say that overall, they are of very poor quality. Nothing to touch the former glories that were Nosferatu, the Schoolgirl Impersonator, or Viagra Man, for example,

Must try harder, but here they are, for what it's worth. As usual, voting is at Survey Monkey on https://tinyurl.com/Sadfacer2017 .

Voting will close on 31 December at 5pm.

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Sadfacer 1: Rancid pensioner with frustrated childhood ambition to become traffic warden lives the dream.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... treet.html

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Sadfacer 2: Victim of zealously irate medic only wanted a place to park.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... esson.html

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Sadfacer 3: Dimwit Bozo wonders where all the parking tickets came from.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... fines.html

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Sadfacer 4: “Where am I going to park my horse now?” says cancer riddled crusty.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z4XXLX9xOA

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Sadfacer 5 : Young Fergie’s tale of a childhood cruelly deprived of chocolate fingering
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... dbury.html

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Sadfacer 6 : “I was never really sure of the meaning of ”cunt” until now, says Mum.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z4YJmfNVD

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Sadfacer 7 : “They charged me for my box” says furious gran.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... pping.html

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Sadfacer 8: Householder in “respect my bricks” plea as he calls for Andrex.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -lawn.html

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Sadfacer 9: www.mysonsnotathickiebutIamatwat.com
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z4a0Oyo8Pi

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Sadfacer 10: Dig up Dead doggie, pensioner is alliteratively ordered.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z4a0Oyo8Pi

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Sadfacer 11 : Let’s be honest, this is a totally crap effort.
http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2017/03/ ... 082098.jpg

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Sadfacer 12: “Have you squeezed one out yet, Derek ?”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... Rover.html

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Sadfacer 13: “Ed Sheeran swindled me, the ginger bastard.”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z4cN8gJbQR

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Sadfacer 14: Gobbing on ref just youthful high spirits, claims hirsute yobbo’s dad.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... feree.html

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Sadfacer 15: “Pass me that razor…..”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z4dEIPUbxg

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Sadfacer 16 : Airline trashed my pants, says gorilla woman.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... 4fYfROElP]

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Sadfacer 17 : “Planning permission? What’s that? “
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... drive.html

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Sadfacer 18: Hobbit woman in giant loaf of bread difficulties
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/scott ... l-10416037

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Sadfacer 19: Racists nixed my Scots tenner.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... tomer.html

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Sadfacer 20: Elfin Safety Trampoline Tragedy
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z4hjgPY6XS

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Sadfacer 21: Difficult cunt is difficult.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -wife.html

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Sadfacer 22: “You BASTARDS…”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z4irgZNjtn

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Sadfacer 23: Beware the minty minge-mangling gel.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... r-gel.html

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Sadfacer 24: “They come over here, and take our houses…..oh wait…”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z4jR2cl5ga

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Sadfacer 25: Ronnie and Reggie : the Transgender years.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... twave.html

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Sadfacer 26: “Are ye looking at our bras?”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... KIRTS.html

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Sadfacer 27: Another fat kid story.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z4lreuHqNh

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Sadfacer 28: “Luckily, I always carry my penis-measuring tape with me.”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -line.html

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Sadfacer 29: Ricky Tomlinson : The Final Chapter.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z4mhihk03z

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Sadfacer 30: “One of these days, I’ll get lucky with these lottery tickets”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... space.html

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Sadfacer 31 : “And I’d have got away with it, too, if it wasn’t for those pesky kids.”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... f-ban.html

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Sadfacer 32 : “And as if the tent wasn’t bad enough, we’ve only got 5 pairs of shoes between the 9 of us.”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... tent.html
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Sadfacer 33 : Pensioner pleads stupidity to parking ticket charge.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z4pinvQgPr

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Sadfacer 34 : Up-the-duff woman in distress at parking ticket nickage.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... s-car.html

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Sadfacer 35 : “Hand luggage” injustice prompts utter misery.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z4rEHgmJnA

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Sadfacer 36 : Woman at death’s door : almost pulled through.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -coma.html

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Sadfacer 37: Woman un-delighted to see grandad again.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... grave.html

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Sadfacer 38 : Celebrity Marxist Paul Mason victimised by bourgeois parking permit scheme.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... home.html
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Sadfacer 39 : DOH! Eejit pensioner vows to get off the grass.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z4s1RLGAQZ

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Sadfacer 40 : Belligerent Elvis suffers karaoke ban for scrapping (UH HUH HUH).
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... raoke.html

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Sadfacer 41: White van man vows to fight to the death.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... ation.html

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Sadfacer 42 : …. Or alternatively, haircuts while you go away and do some shopping.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... iness.html

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Sadfacer 43 : No sympathy at all for this cunt.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z4t3VcKF6u

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Sadfacer 44 : “Shoes make my belly swell…” Aye. Right.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... wrong.html

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Sadfacer 45 : Leisurely chook nosher feels persecuted.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -park.html

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Sadfacer 46 : Schoolgirl with massive right hand finds giant coin.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... old-1.html

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Sadfacer 47 : “Who, me? Racist ? “
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... entre.html

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Sadfacer 48 : “This is a right fucking bastard cunt of a doll, this.”
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -doll.html

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Sadfacer 49: Rubbish martyr. In every way.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z4whzXVpTA
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Sadfacer 51: Dragons’ Bellend .
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... z4wuE6oOS5

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Sadfacer 52: Tesco Bogey Nightmare.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -food.html

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Sadfacer 53 : Half woman half swan faces offspring trampoline hell.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -row.html

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Sadfacer 54 : Parking Ticket for picking up pensioner pisses off Penelope
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... -fine.html
Timbo, lambswool, Messianic Trees and 1 others liked this
#527611
Thanks for doing this again, Abers. How the last twelve months have flown!

I'd forgotten most of them, to be honest, so am enjoying your roundup. No. 16 - the lady with the shredded pants - just made me laugh out loud and she's a serious contender for my vote.

Some extremely entitled nut jobs there, though, making me have to deliberate a good while longer.
Abernathy liked this
#527621
At the moment I'm getting a strong renaissance tableau vibe from the sad trampoline family at number 20, but I'm also leaning strongly towards the bolshy Elvis. He has the spirit of marrow man in him.
#527877
For the second time in recent years, following the chap who rocked up to Wickes in a kimono when his bathroom wasn't delivered, I suspect that the Swindon Advertiser has won the local newspaper award. A pity that this one didn't go national and is therefore not eligible for the main poll - http://www.swindonadvertiser.co.uk/news ... ectations/

I'm away to have a think about whether Elvis cunt or Hulk style ripped pants cunt gets my vote...
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