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Dan Hodges

Posted: Thu Aug 15, 2013 4:52 pm
by Messianic Trees
It's probably about time he had his own thread.

The Mandatory Tweets of the Left: a user's guide
Today is A-level results day. It is also national "it is obligatory to tweet your distaste at the fact the newspapers and broadcasters focus on attractive, blonde girls to illustrate their coverage" day.

A few years ago someone pointed out the media's habit of concentrating on white, photogenic girls, jumping for joy at the prospect of a place at Oxford or Cambridge, followed by a first-class honours degree, and eventually the opportunity to write countless blogs condemning their own privileged upbringing. Back then it was a cute and witty observation. But today it has become just another of the Left's Mandatory Tweets, or LMTs.

The Left is now quite an exclusive club. In fact, it's so exclusive, I'm not all that sure how you join. All I do know is people are frequently telling me I'm not a "real" member of the Left, so there must be a list, or application form or membership secretary knocking around somewhere.

Anyway, once you finally do become a member, there are a number of strict rules. One is you must not, under pain of death, let anyone ever catch you saying anything nice about Tony Blair. Or bad about Tony Benn.

Another is that if you are a man, you have to buy yourself a plaid shirt. Unless you work for the Labour Party. Then it’s a dark suit and red tie. If you're a woman working for the Labour Party you can wear what you want, but if you're out in public you must press a mobile phone to your ear at all times. If you don't, there is a danger you won’t be taken seriously. You must also be aware that working for the Labour Party doesn’t automatically make you a member of the Left. Remember, Tony Blair used to do stuff for the Labour party.

And there is another rule. Several times a year you must send out an LMT. When you send it is entirely up to you. Who you send it to is also up to you. But somewhere deep in the bowels of the Unite union’s imposing Lubyanka-style HQ, a group of highly trained operatives are monitoring the Left's Twitter feeds, all of them, and matching them against their records. And woe betide anyone who doesn’t meet their annual LMT quota.

Re: Dan Hodges

Posted: Thu Aug 15, 2013 5:17 pm
by youngian
Thought there was a Dan Hodges thread?

That is not quite as bad as something Delingpole would write but he's getting there. Not very observant or witty. Leave this stuff to lefties like Jeremy Hardy, Mark Steel or John O'Farrel who are actually funny when taking the piss out of lefties.

I can see where he got number eight from though:
“Why don’t you just go away and join the Tories?”

Re: Dan Hodges

Posted: Fri Aug 16, 2013 8:38 am
by Abernathy
youngian wrote: Leave this stuff to lefties like Jeremy Hardy, Mark Steel or John O'Farrel who are actually funny when taking the piss out of lefties.
Thou speakest truth, O sage :

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/com ... 63544.html

Re: Dan Hodges

Posted: Fri Aug 16, 2013 9:46 am
by canus insanus
Fuck me, I've had 12 year olds write more amusing repartee

Re: Dan Hodges

Posted: Fri Aug 16, 2013 12:56 pm
by mojojojo
Unite's offices are like the Lubyanka. Ha ha ha that's funny. Parking wardens are like the Gestapo - that's your level of humour isn't it Hodges?

Re: Dan Hodges

Posted: Fri Aug 16, 2013 1:21 pm
by canus insanus
Fuck me, I've just googled this prick, and he's the son of none other than Glenda Jackson, yet he voted for Boris in the London mayoral elections because of 'his dislike for Ken Livingstone'.

Here stands the epitome of why nepotism is such a fucked-up way of doing things...

Re: Dan Hodges

Posted: Fri Aug 16, 2013 1:25 pm
by The Weeping Angel
Well that's five minutes of my life I won't be getting back

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/com ... 63544.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

Re: Dan Hodges

Posted: Fri Aug 16, 2013 1:37 pm
by canus insanus
Littlejohn's brain wrote:Well that's five minutes of my life I won't be getting back

http://www.independent.co.uk/voices/com ... 63544.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;
Every time I've seen Mark Steel on TV or heard him on the radio, his smug, self-satisfying delivery of 'edgy politico repartee' leaves me cold; well, almost dirty, actually, like catching your favourite auntie with a rampant rabbit. :oops:

Re: Dan Hodges

Posted: Fri Aug 16, 2013 7:16 pm
by Kreuzberger
A dissenting voice, I might be, but I rather enjoyed that piece. His similes can, at times, be rather strained albeit thought-provokingly mildly amusing but I thought that the straight bat of this piece was exactly what was needed.

Re: Dan Hodges

Posted: Fri Aug 16, 2013 7:20 pm
by Abernathy
Kreuzberger wrote:A dissenting voice, I might be, but I rather enjoyed that piece. His similes can, at times, be rather strained albeit thought-provokingly mildly amusing but I thought that the straight bat of this piece was exactly what was needed.
Indeed. Steel is one of the wittier SWP comics.

Re: Dan Hodges

Posted: Mon Aug 19, 2013 7:45 pm
by youngian
http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/danho ... han-others" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;

One rule for the Left, another for the Right: in Labour, some disloyalties are more disloyal than others
Its not fair says Dan, the union lefties are allowed to criticise but I'm getting stick by having a Tory paper column criticising my own party on a near daily basis. Its Orwellian doublethink says Dan.

Re: Dan Hodges

Posted: Mon Aug 19, 2013 7:53 pm
by Abernathy
If Dan Hodges is a Labour loyalist, I'm Dame Edith Evans.

Re: Dan Hodges

Posted: Mon Aug 19, 2013 7:58 pm
by The Weeping Angel
Abernathy wrote:If Dan Hodges is a Labour loyalist, I'm Dame Edith Evans.
Good evening Dame Edith and what brings you to this humble forum 8)

Re: Dan Hodges

Posted: Mon Aug 19, 2013 8:04 pm
by Andy McDandy
So what was that Oscar Wilde like? Beard like a rhododendron bush, I hear?

Re: Dan Hodges

Posted: Tue Aug 20, 2013 12:00 am
by youngian
now he's in the Mail

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/artic ... ign=Buffer" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;