[Abernathy]

Ever noticed how much advertising insurance companies put out, in particular car insurance companies?

They're fucking everywhere, and those fucking ads for comparison websites are just as bad. Without exception, they're fantastically annoying. But have you ever wondered about how those campaigns get born? I envisage a brainstorming group of thrusting young ad execs (or wankers), running things up flagpoles to see who salutes:

"I've got it ! Who is just about THE most unlikely person we could get to front our new campaign for car insurance?"

"The Duke of Edinburgh?"

"Nah - we'd never get him."

" I know - how about Iggy Pop?"

" D'ye know, that just might work..... get onto his people right away".

Meanwhile in another part of the forest......

"I've got it! You know how everybody loves those cheeky little animals that you keep seeing on BBC wildlife documentaries- you know, the ones that stand up on their hind legs and all look about to see if there's a wolf coming ?"

"That's meerkats. "

"YAH ! Meerkats! In fact, that's genius! Know why - cause it sounds a bit like "Market" and that's what our client's comparison website is about. "

"I've got it, I've got it. We have this meerkat, right, and he's coming on the telly to warn people to stop mistaking his website about comparing meerkats with the client's one about comparing markets.

"Yeah - we could give him a funny voice and everything. Where are meerkats from, anyway?"

"Africa?"

"Yeah, a big goofy comedy Robert Mugabe type voice - it'll go down a storm."

"Errm, would that not be a bit, erm, racist?"

"You've got a point. Tell you what, we could make him Russian !!! They aren't black. He could even have a comedy catch-phrase, something like "Seemples!"" .

"A Russian meerkat? That makes no sense at all."

"Just fuck off, Justin. We're going with it, okay ?"

[DisgustedOfTunbridgeWells]

They're all off their fucking tits on coke, that's the simple fact, that Peugeot one a while back with the fella who'd been bitten by a shark and Cyndi Lauper singing 'true colours' what the fuck was that ?

Peruvian marching powder, that's what.

Most adverts aren't actually adverts (at least the 'successful' ones aren't) apart from the adverts on the bbc, which of course, don't exist, because there are no adverts on the bbc and anyone who says otherwise is a cunt.

Take this one for example, probably one of the 'best' of recent times.

[youtube]NlHUz99l-eo[/youtube]

Tells you absolutely nothing about the product, not a fucking thing, if you had no concept of an mp3 player you'd be utterly clueless at the end of that and even those who have are probably even more in the dark.

(The obvious point is to allow the viewer to project themselves onto the silhouettes - if you had this thing you too would dance around like a twat, don't worry about what it is or what it does, thats not important.)

[Mr Mordon]

Ever noticed how much advertising insurance companies put out, in particular car insurance companies?

They're fucking everywhere, and those fucking ads for comparison websites are just as bad. Without exception, they're fantastically annoying.

Too right, i find myself shouting at the TV sometimes; NOT ANOTHER FUCKING CAR INSURANCE AD/CAR INSURANCE COMPARISON SITE

[moonshien]

Too right, i find myself shouting at the TV sometimes; NOT ANOTHER FUCKING CAR INSURANCE AD/CAR INSURANCE COMPARISON SITE

I do the same to the 'ooh, aren't men daft' ones aimed at women.

The ones for extract of jojoba flavoured pentapeptides infused with proretinol b with a hint of cucumber oil 'inspired by nature' (I mean why, for the love of god, just WHY) and with 'davina, wearing hair extentions' in 2 millimetre print at the bottom of the screen

[Abernathy]

It's because she's worth it, ye know.

[Tom_UK]

I like the cheaply made ones. Current favourites: cash4gold.com, postalgold.com (the one with the tall, weird looking bloke), Red Driving School ("change yer LIFE"), and envirofone.com

All time favourites: Weightwatchers Barry Bethel, Norton Finance.

[JamesFarrier]

What WAS that advert on quite a few years ago, it was for an accident compensation ad (now THAT'S a saturated market taking up too much airtime) and simply featured a very, very overweight bloke with a bad 'tache mildly bellowing into the camera?

Also, that advert appealing for armchair inventors to apply for an inventors info pack made me chuckle. They took out late-night advert slots during Channel 5's infancy years, and it was combination of plasticine stop-frame and PowerPoint effects. The budget must've run into the tens of pounds.

[Mr Mordon]

I like the cheaply made ones. Current favourites: cash4gold.com, postalgold.com (the one with the tall, weird looking bloke), Red Driving School ("change yer LIFE"), and envirofone.comAll time favourites: Weightwatchers Barry Bethel, Norton Finance.

Thats an interesting one. I remeber a while back the ad featured a bloke exchanging a really REALLY crap phone and getting £100 back, which would never happen. Now the phone has been replaced by a cutesy CG character. Just wonder if they got pulled up by the advertising standards people.

Probably the best memory of adverts was when someone accidentally showed the 'european' version of that add for 'Neutralia' skin cream. A case of 'did i see a womans nipple just then'??

[DisgustedOfTunbridgeWells]

What WAS that advert on quite a few years ago, it was for an accident compensation ad (now THAT'S a saturated market taking up too much airtime) and simply featured a very, very overweight bloke with a bad 'tache mildly bellowing into the camera?

Fat 'tache bloke - "Have YOW been injured ?"

<shot of ladder falling on the floor filmed through a sepia filter>

Sullen voiceover - "I was injured at work when I was forced to eat half a pound of uranium because we'd run out of Crayolas, the national twats hotline helped me claim a jar of pickled onions and a can of tab clear."

<shot of some daft bitch in a fiesta smashing into the back of another car and reflexively holding her neck, the grabbing incompetent bitch, filmed through the same sepia filter>

Female sullen voiceover - "I suffered whiplash after I was doing my lippy in the fucking mirror and went straight into the back of some poor cunt, the national dog rapist hotline helped me claim for a month in Mallorca where I shagged every waiter within a three mile radius."

Fat 'tache bloke - "Remember, where there's blame, chances are it's your own fault you massive quadraspazz."

That one ?

I seem to recall it was one of the most targeted adverts going, it was only ever on during 'this morning', 'trisha' and the ilk.

[ACG]

I like the cheaply made ones. Current favourites: cash4gold.com, postalgold.com (the one with the tall, weird looking bloke), Red Driving School ("change yer LIFE"), and envirofone.com

All time favourites: Weightwatchers Barry Bethel, Norton Finance.

i suppose they do have a cirtain charm, that is, untill they try and create a catchy song ("webuyanycar.com! webuyanycar.com! webuyanycar.com!" gah!) or catchphrases (safe style windows and their cocking "y'buy one, y'get one free, a'say y'buy one...").

[Fflaps]

Say what you like about the 'We buy any car' ads, they certainly got their message across.

[Killer Whale]

Trade Centre Wales.

You lot don't know what you're missing.

[Fflaps]

I miss Welsh adverts! Especially 'George Street Furniture'. And that one for the caravan park that somehow they got Richard Briers to do the voiceover for.

[Socket]

There was an advert a few years back that said, 'It's possible to be a little bit pregnant.'

[moonshien]

I miss Welsh adverts! Especially 'George Street Furniture'. And that one for the caravan park that somehow they got Richard Briers to do the voiceover for.

aah.all homesick now

'never forget your welsh'